Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings
good example Mad Hatter......thanks for sharing...
you have to question the "legitimizing" of the child when the father disappears like that don't you?
Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings
Oh So monks thread is replica of this thread 
Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings
I didn't know of any before but in the past year I've seen a number of emergency nikahs happening, all of a sudden in the middle of the week.
I guess people are becoming more lax about dating but definitely not about having children out of wedlock. That is still very much taboo and looked down upon. But since its happening more...I don't know if it will eventually get accepted by some.
Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings
I think I'd rather not judge a situation like this. It's easy to say I'll do this or that. Everything changes when it happens in your family/friends.
Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings
Muzna: i would say if educated and adult parents of teenager kids are in such situation, they may arrange very cheap wedding. few may abort, while few moms of those teenager’s moms would adopt that kid as their own kid (interesting situation, that kid never know that one of the sister is actually a real mom), few may be murdered on the name of izzat. 
Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings
yeh dating ka nateeja hai?
Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings
There is nothing wrong in chat-mangni-pat-biya in such case as Islam order to hide/cover the gunah and not wear it as a medal. (given that some other basic requirements are checked off)
plus its easy to say things but hard to face it when it really happens. I guess reaction should base on case-to-case basis and circumstances.
Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings
please explain in detail. two young teenager are surely old enough therefore carrying out such an intimate action.
Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings
There can be many situations STA
- both were engaged and things happened
- both were bf/gf dating and things happened
- both were not-so-much-gf/bf and things happened
- both were relatives and things happend
etc etc
Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings
k
Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings
I know of a relative this has happened to... the "teens" ended up staying together... and have been together for 20+ years... had another child as well, but did not get married. So, living a defacto relationship, I guess.
They dont live in pakistan, so people in Pakistan dont really know about it, they only speculate. Relatives who live closer by.... well I guess have just moved on. Not sure if they have accepted the idea, but have certainly accepted their kids
Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings
With all that teenage/unplanned pregnancies that we hear/read about these days.....has the desi mindset on this topic changed at all?
Does the typical "log kya kahengay!!!" fear still live on?
Do you find that the old "you must get married and legitimize this baby" stipulation has been relaxed at all?
If your friend came to you and explained that he/she was in this situation, what advice would you give them?
Get married? Abort the pregnancy? Have the baby but don't get married unless you guys are truly committed to each other?
"All the teenage unplanned pregnancies ?" Where? Who? When? Am I missing something. I have about 50+ cousins and none of them had a teenage pregnancy. I wonder why you are portraying such exceptions as a norm? Do you have a hidden agenda?
Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings
Firstly it's an AK 47 wedding and pretty common in Pakistan amongst certain classes
Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings
Let's not be naive - premarital sex probably happens more than we'd like to acknowledge. But the actual number of people who are known to have had a child out of wedlock or a 7-month post-wedding baby, I think I've only heard of 1 in all these years. This would make me think that either the contraception is pretty good or abortions would be the fall-back.
That's me speculating, although I did hear a story about a guy in PK who got two girls pregnant and then paid for one girl's abortion but was dragging his feet about paying for the other girl.
There's a girl currently being held in jail in Pakistan for drug smuggling who's from the UK (british born desi).. she's 6 or 7 months pregnant by her bf.. obviously not going to be a shotgun wedding there but just a quick (extreme) example of someone keeping the child.. She was married before but the kid she is carrying is illegitimate..
A case I know of more personally: One of my dad's distant cousins got a girl pregnant while he was married to someone else but he ended up taking her as a second wife (this is in a village bk in Pak, the girl's family basically made him marry her).. She gave birth after they married and are still together..
I know of a couple of desi girls here who have had abortions when they've gotten pregnant before marriage.. My sil's mum is a school health visitor and she was saying she comes across it quite a bit..
Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings
Firstly it's an AK 47 wedding and pretty common in Pakistan amongst certain classes
consider it part of nikkah ceremony.
Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings
^ It's past midnight and bang bang bang. Don't worry it's just a wedding. so jao beta so jao
Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings
"All the teenage unplanned pregnancies ?" Where? Who? When? Am I missing something. I have about 50+ cousins and none of them had a teenage pregnancy. I wonder why you are portraying such exceptions as a norm? Do you have a hidden agenda?
read the 50 odd other posts in this thread and decide for yourself.....