Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings

I don't know about weddings but yeah pre-marital sex is quite common in Pakistan. You don't hear about it but every guy has friends who are involved in such acts. I have also heard about abortions being arranged and doctors charge quite for high for such discreet services. It is sad and disturbing at the same time to see the level our society has stooped down to.

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Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings

While I think premarital sex is common, I still believe a baby born out of wedlock isn't.

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Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings

and how many think that pre-marital sex "just happens" as one thing leads to another.....as compared to those that are prepared for and have some level of expectation that it will happen in their relationship?

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Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings

Omg, Nomi, let it go please. Bilaa wahay ki bahays shuroo nahi karro. I already said I didn't mean to call you out on anything or sound defensive.

Ab bas. Okies? Thanks.

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Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings

Premarital sex is very common, but i think both girls and especially boys do it "responsibly", at least back home. Boys also aware of the social, financial and even life threatening consequences of impregnating a girl. And if it happens (I suspected 2 cases in my social circle) then chutt mangni putt biyah also happens.

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Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings

are kids really that stupid?

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Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings

you'd be surprised....some of them are not kids at all....

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Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings

could you elaborate on what demographic are you talking about?? like, is it young adults, or mature adults, educated or uneducated etc etc??

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Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings

I have heard about honor killings for just having a boyfriend but no shotgun weddings.

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Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings

NomiCa -- my question was not based on the demographic.....it was originally to understand the mind-set of the people.....I guess the discussion has expanded as usual.

let's say we're talking about the educated, adult, desi population.....

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Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings

Shotgun weddings are not that rare anymore...

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Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings

and this is why I am asking the question to find out if the mind-set has changed....I'm finding them more and more common.

I wonder if it has something to do with families beginning to accept that their children have to "date" before they make up their minds about a life partner whereas in the past it was more of an arranged thing.

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Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings

Why don't I have such friends? And obviously they charge a fortune, their ass is on the line cause abortion is illegal. Legalize abortion in Pakistan and we'd have a lot less deaths due to abortions being done in unhygienic conditions by people who aren't even doctors.

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Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings

munza aap space station meen rehti heen ?

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Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings

aap ko ab pata chala hai?

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Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings

aab yaqeen ho chala hai

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Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings

Is that because of growing up in middle east ?

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Yeh it’s not uncommon at all. As far as the desi mind set… for the most part, i think people dont want to accept it, because of religion not allowing pre-marital sex. sadly, just because religion doesnt allow something usually doesnt stop people from doing something. But to cover up for mistakes made, and to hide the consequences, shot gun weddings are “arranged.”

So they just do it to save face. :bummer:

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Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings

chalo kissi baat ka tau yaqeen hua aap ko....

is this directed to me?
if yes.....then no.

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Re: Desi Mindset on Shotgun Weddings

I only know one example where this happened, one of our old family friend's daughters got knocked up by their student lodger and they got married off very, very quickly. The guy ran away a few months later and was never heard of again, the young girl was left to bring up their child and basically hid away from society for the next 15 years.

I feel sorry for anyone this happens to, I wouldn't judge them cos they have enough. Personally, I'd advise them to do what they think is best for them to cope with, and would never encourage a marriage just for the sake of the baby being 'legitimate'

Just too many problems there.