That's a tough one! I don't know how progressive Pakistanis in America/Canada are now...but judging from my family and friends...a baby before marriage is still unheard of.
Such thing is called zinna in Islam!and is Not allowed however these things happen in our society! n kids endup in edhi homes!but the number is not high of these cases....
That's a tough one! I don't know how progressive Pakistanis in America/Canada are now...but judging from my family and friends...a baby before marriage is still unheard of.
. Being progressive n being UnIslamic is a diffrent thing...but if ur talking abt other religion then they don brother i guess or they do??as far as o know no religion allow such acts!
Let's not be naive - premarital sex probably happens more than we'd like to acknowledge. But the actual number of people who are known to have had a child out of wedlock or a 7-month post-wedding baby, I think I've only heard of 1 in all these years. This would make me think that either the contraception is pretty good or abortions would be the fall-back.
That's me speculating, although I did hear a story about a guy in PK who got two girls pregnant and then paid for one girl's abortion but was dragging his feet about paying for the other girl.
I've honestly only heard/seen this once....my mami's brother (was 24 at the time) was involved with a 32 year old women (also desi Muslim)who was divorcing her husband. Our family (mami and her brother are my mom's cousins) were very upset about the situation, and even moreso when they heard she may be pregnant. I was about 16 at the time and ghar ke barray kept saying "bachon pay kya assar parega agar hum inka saat daynga". Anywhoo, the two did have a nikkah/court marriage done as soon as her divorce was final. Their son was born about 8 months later do it was confirmed that she got pregnant before they married.
We don't have anything to do with them (for other reasons though, not just because of this above situation) and even my mami is estranged from her own brother and Bhabi.
I'm completely with Sehrysh on this......let's not be naive.....
I've seen/heard of three examples. In one case the girl was not Muslim so the family did not insist that their son marry her. The child was born and the family did try to remain in touch but the mother didn't allow the relationship to develop and remained estranged likely because the father did not support her.
In another the nikah took place on two weeks' notice and the birth date of the child was cleverly disguised as a premature birth.
And in the third the baby was aborted even though the couple did end up getting married later in life.
I have to agree that the contraception is pretty good or abortions are a well-hidden fall-back.
Few days back there was a new on our media where in Karachi area of Mehmodabad bodies of premature baby gals were found in dumster and evrybody from that area was shocked,the news was viral but ater few days asusual evrybody kept quite on this,,,
It raises the question that abortions are happening in small clinics n areas for both premartial act or gender discrimination ..i remember watching a program on Jhula of bilques edhi was a eye opener!
Ok, let me amend my original post…there are lots of stories in our communites about the newly immigrant desi men who get goris pregnant and either:
a) they get married and try to make the best of it
b) the family haawww haaiiis and he dumps her
c) she goes for an abortion
I guess when I first saw the original question Muzna posted, I was thinking more of the younger teens and 20 somethings I know right now. And I completely agree that pre marital sex/accidently is probably more prevalent than any of us would like to admit. It’s just masked/hidden better because most people are more savvy at dealing or avoiding this predicament now than let’s say 20 years ago
The low numbers show that desis know more about contraception than the non-desis. We're just better at it, before marriage that is. After marriage it's bye bye contraceptives and hello baby machine.
newly immigrant have
higher propensity to get gori pregnant compared to ABCD's??
That's not what I meant. When my family came to the US in the early 70's, I remember hearing about this/seeing it happen often..moreso for green card purposes, that is what I was basing my post on.
These days it's a level playing field...newly immigrant vs American born. Both sides are educated/ savvy enough to know how to take preventative measures.
Please don't twist my words around and turn this into yet another "Us vs Them" thread.
