Re: “Desi” men
I totally disagree with u mamo. I havent met a single desi guy like that
Re: “Desi” men
Yeah, BZZZZT back to you mommy of three. If I promise to get my rage in control, will you promise to to stop instigating the general population on GS with your semi-retarded observations under the guise of “Oh, i love you all” facade?
Am i the only one who sees through your hate and bigotry on this board? I am sure I am not.
Go back to teaching your kids how to goosestep to the cadence.
Re: “Desi” men
I actually agree with dope on this one. Mamaof3, for someone who married a desi guy, you sure have a lot against desis. 
Re: “Desi” men
I guess she’s having those issues against desi from her husband…he may have chosen a non desi cause of that…
Re: "Desi" men
I don't know why everyone thinks that MO3 is having anti-desi issues - I don't see it that way at all. She is merely pointing out that those of us who are goris are sometimes deeply offended by the manners and mannerisms that our male desi guests display.
I grew up in a very hospitable family where relatives were always coming and going, but never once did a someone show up unannounced or not tell us when they would be leaving. No matter who the guest was, they always helped out with either the cooking or dishes, or took us out to eat once as a 'thank you.' They stayed a reasonable amount of time, made their own purchases, with a few exceptions, and we all had a great time together. We were always sad to see them go.
When my husband's relatives come, even those who are in a much better financial situation, they take us to the mall and expect that we will buy everything for them. I do all of the work, cooking, cleaning, laundry, driving them around while dh is at work, etc. And don't get me started on what they can do to a bathroom in one visit. I use up all my vacation time and sick days from work to care for our guests every year.
Helpful hint to those of you vacationing in the US - there is no drain in the bathroom floor, please use a towel to dry up those puddles of water, as they warp the wood subfloor under the tiles :)
Re: "Desi" men
Also, I just wanted to make the point before someone starts fussing about how well I must have been treated when I go to Pakistan that it is not the case. I was told on my first visit that it is my duty as the eldest bahu to supervise the house when I am there. I watch over the cooking, do the housework that the servants don't do, and take care of my kids and my devrani's kids.
In addition, relatives expect us to bring boatloads of electronics and gifts, pay for trips to murree and bhurban, and take them out to dinner. Not to mention that when my nand takes me shopping for clothes I buy mine and hers. Last year I came back with 4 suits for me and 9 for her, because I didn't have any money left for more for her.
Why is hospitality only a one way street? A trip to Pakistan costs us at least $15,000, and we go every two to three years, not to mention the fact that we A short (one month) trip from a relative can easily cost us $2,000.00. Sometimes I really feel taken advantage of, and this obviously leads to bitter feelings on my part.
Re: "Desi" men
Ms Amana,
You really see what I was talking about here....I mean I've had many, many guests - Desi and otherwise - who were pure pleasure to have. Those pleasurable visits I rarely think to post about - no one would find them interesting or worth commenting on most of the time. WHen I have guests like the ones I posted about, they are typically young-ish Desi males and although they do not represent a MAJORITY of young-ish Desi males that I've met, they ARE numerous enough to wonder whether its a trend....thats all I was observing.
I think the problem with those that "beat me up" is that I'm a gori...so they get really defensive about their desi brethren....admirable but a bit misguided since I truly bear no ill will towards desis...I mean I married one, yeah?
Like I said before, any cultural, religious or regional tendencies come with both good things and bad. Being a "bad" guest is rude and selfish. The ONLY bad guests I've had (so far) are young-ish desi males and only a couple of others who do not fall into that category....that doesnt mean that goris dont have their own particular and serious faults, but that wasnt what was on my mind at that particular moment. Maybe the Dopes of the world would feel better and less vicious toward me if I made some posts about non desis....but no matter. They all know in their hearts what the truth really is whether they want to face it or not.
Re: "Desi" men
Oh don't get me wrong amana.
I am somewhat anti-desi myself. Truthfully, there are times I wish I was not desi. I wish I wasn't brown, I wish I didn't eat chicken tikkas, and I wish that I could watch cultural television without hearing typical lines like "Oh behtiyaan ki shaadi karwaani hain", and "oh she's going to make such a good wife"... what I hear is "Oh I gotta sell my dog", or "this dog will be so obedient to her master".
Well anyway, rest assured. Desis in general are slobs. They have very little host-guest manners, period.
Re: "Desi" men
I kinda agree with mamaof3. All she is saying is that desi men can very very inconsiderate at times. I agree they can be. Most of the times, they wont realize they are being inconsiderate. It comes natural to them. Like, they automatically assume ur cool with absolutely anything.
I have had not so close friends ask for my room keys to go sleep in there and ending up making a mess, leave the cereal and bread on the table WITHOUT making it secure and airtight (so it retains the freshness) when I am very particular about such little things, which ofcourse just comes from being naturally inconsiderate. There would be other times ur housemates or friends would just open ur wardrobe and wear ur beloved jacket without even asking and walk out(to them its nothing) I mean fine, hospitality or whatever, everyones different, I'll give u ur space and I need mine and I dont appreciate people just helping themselves without any consideration for the other person or how he feels. So I make it very clear to them.
So yes, I can somewhat relate, and its true desis do it a lot, but I'm sure its not just a desi trait. Also, you are just unlucky to be coming across all the bad examples and not the good examples, and I realize its not always in your power and you sometimes just deal with it and move on, but whenever you or your hubby has a chance, they should make situations clear. If I was in your shoes, I would expect my hubby to intervene and let the situation be clear to "HIS" desi friends/visitors. If they are rocking up uninvited or unannounced, theres no shame in excusing yourself if things arent going too well. Your hubby should do that.
Amana, if what ur saying is true, I truly feel for you. That I hope isnt a norm for an average desi family. I'd disown myself if that was the case with my family.
Re: "Desi" men
I don't think wot amana and Mamaof3 are saying is the norm in desi culture. I agree it's bad wot they have to put up with or are referring to...but, i have never seen this personally in my own family, nor in all my relatives' families. I have a chachi who is a gori and also another aunt who is spanish. They love Pakistanis so much, and never complain. They r very good friends and very close to their in-laws. And, i have heard whites, blacks hispanics...u name it, a lot of them complain about guests that they have had, who r very ill-mannered. I don't believe that this is a trend amongst desis or young men from any particular race. And i certainly don't think it's fair to generalise, as u can see many ppl r saying that it doesn't happen a lot...so maybe it's just ur bad luck that u have met some like that. U will find ill-mannered ppl everywhere and of any race. I had this white co-worker who used to say the same stuff about her in-laws, who were white also. As far as going to Pakistan....i only have good stuff to say, which cud take me forever to write about...in short, i have never met such nice, sweet and friendly ppl as the relatives i have in Pakistan. I guess we're lucky cos everyone in our families r very friendly and well mannered. In fact, when guests of other races come to one of our weddings, they always tell us how lovely and hospitable Pakistanis r.
Re: "Desi" men
mama jee why worry about others...do what you think is right you dont owe anyone any explanation...there is a really good saying in urdu..."jitnai munh utni baatain" so stop worrying, just listen from one ear and use your other ear to dump all the garbage out.
Re: “Desi” men
Why do ppl get personal in these threads? I mean ppl who respond to the thread, do personal attacks 
That makes me wary of Guppy Meets :no: cuz later on some of these who can’t seperate personal from a general discussion over an issue wud be attacking personally since they happen to know a little more now 
Re: "Desi" men
^ she raises a good point!
ze take notas people!
Re: "Desi" men
They dont care if they're imposing themselves on you if its convenient and/or fun for them to stay with you.
They assume that a woman staying at home raising children is 1. uneducated 2. ignorant/stupid (in everything from finance to computers to world affairs to child-rearing) 3. there to serve the wants, needs and comforts of the "MAN"
Clueless. C'mon guys get a clue!!
I had some other "poor" characteristics in mind.
They need to do some waxing.
They need to spend at least 4 years of their bachelor life living AWAY from mommie and daddie.
They need to learn how to cook and iron clothes on their own.
They need to learn how to clean on their own.
They need to be able to wear an apron and hold a mop and still feel masculine.
They need to do all of the above and get a great education and maintain at least a respectable middle class job. Enough of this 7-11 crap.
They need to cut down on the cricket and football.
Get a pair of docker's pants, and ditch the jeans that fall below the butt.