it could be a desi wife thing too.. my mom is visiting us and I dont like to go out to eat with my husband only.. we invite her as much as possible! Sometimes she refuses to come along and at other times she gives in! It just bothers me that if there are 3 people at home, 2 are eating out while one is at home.. if it was a big family or probably even just one more person, it may have been different!
When we visit Pakistan.. my husband and I do go out alone sometimes but mostly with the family.. since it's just more fun with them! But then again, we are usually only visiting not living with them!
A friend of mine,who lives with her inlaws, says her husband doesnt take her to eat out anywhere, because he says ajeeeb lagta hai akele jana, i know him, he seems a nice enough, loyal enough husband, but i find this odd. Apparently he feels like mum dad fmaily should go too, feels guilty ot whatever. They do go shopping, or whatever together and if they get a bite to eat on the way its different, but making a plan to go and eat one day, seems to be a problem for him.
is this normal behaviour for men living with their parents?
I live with mine too, and my husband also feels odd just taking me out, even though im his wife and he owes me this no?
Or am i wrong. Both husbands are desis. is this a desi thing then.
ANyway, back to problem, SHE now wants to live seperatly becauses she sick of it not being able to go out with husband on her own, apart from that, she has no complaints.
I don't see anything wrong with it. I'd do the same.
Don't think it's a 'desi' trait. It's an individual thing and varies from a person to person. And whether living in a joint family or not, a couple needs to have time alone as well as with family. And there should definitely be a balance bw that.
noo man, they aint said anything directly to me, maybe to him they have. but im guessing its HIM who feels odd,his own feeling nothing else. hes not stingy, kanjoos or anything. he just feels that when u live with family, eating out should be together as a whole, because itl look rude.
unbelieveable.
comon... you said yourself he wasn't too much into going out for dinner in UK either and that you had to drag him. This has nothing to do with Pakistan but the fact your husband likes to spend more time at home then outside.
yes but i feel it here more, maybe cos i cant go out myself, so surely he should adjust abit for me....
and we do spend time alone, not necessarily outside, his mum complains we are always in our room, not that we are doi9ng anythhing, hes actuaslly watchn tv, and i sit with him doing my own thing, but he considers this as spending time with wife....
to be honest you should have thought about this before marrying him..no use complaining now.
If you knew you are sooo outgoing, and he is very homely then of course this was gonnna affect your marriage because one or the other will get frustrated...
it's NOT a desi trait though..it's just something that you guys are not compatible on...you can't force him to go out and he can't force you to become homely..
Gosh one of you needs to be flexible and just let go, if your hubby doesn't like to go out don't let it get on your nerves, and you'll be going to UK anyways where you can do outdoor activities as much as you want. Marriage is more about sacrifces (from one side so the other is completely happy) and not about compromises (which is a no-win situation mostly), I used to avidly watch indian movies and songs and my hubby absolutely hates them adn over the period of a year I've come to the point where I've stopped watching them and actually don't like them anymore, and now watch all the action/adventure movies with hubby that I previously couldn't stand!
You should join your hubby in playing with him on the playstation :)