A friend of mine,who lives with her inlaws, says her husband doesnt take her to eat out anywhere, because he says ajeeeb lagta hai akele jana, i know him, he seems a nice enough, loyal enough husband, but i find this odd. Apparently he feels like mum dad fmaily should go too, feels guilty ot whatever. They do go shopping, or whatever together and if they get a bite to eat on the way its different, but making a plan to go and eat one day, seems to be a problem for him.
is this normal behaviour for men living with their parents?
I live with mine too, and my husband also feels odd just taking me out, even though im his wife and he owes me this no?
Or am i wrong. Both husbands are desis. is this a desi thing then.
ANyway, back to problem, SHE now wants to live seperatly becauses she sick of it not being able to go out with husband on her own, apart from that, she has no complaints.
yeh but its the husbands themselves who feel odd too, isnt that weird. is this fair on us girls. My own husband isnt a outgoing person either, he never was. SO he doesnt go out anyway, but i want to but i feel like his family is sitting there not liking a husband going out with his wife....friends husbands is the same. when she told me this earlier today, i actually thought omg, mine too...lol. imm sure its desi husbands. my cosuin in uk, british born, doesnt give a monkeys...lol. he takes his wife out. no issue there....im sure he cares for his parents just as much.
Its not a typical desi thing. I have seen many TYPICAL DESI husbands who go out with their wives for lunch or dinner even they live in joint family system.
I think yeh husbands ki lame excuses hoti hain jab woh wife ko ley jana nahin chahty
depends on the household and circumstances. when i was in Pak, my husband said the same thing. we did go out for dinner alone but only when his parents were also out with friends, otherwise he said he found it rude that we go out whilst they are at home eating on their own.
Yes, I would imagine this is a norm in Pakistan since they are constantly reminded of their duties towards parents if they do anything that doesn't involve tthem. I feel you are just venting again. I feel your frustration though. hang in there..
If my husband did that, it would annoy me like crazy. What is wrong with going out to eat? Of course they can come along once in a while but I'd be weirded out if my husband thought it was RUDE to go out alone. Sometimes a couple needs to go out, eat alone and enjoy each other's company and parents need to understand it.
Thank god his parents nor is he the type to overthink such a trivial thing like going out to eat alone.
hmmmm, so i guess people are saying its not abnormal either. nothing shocking then.
dono about my friend, but my own husband isnt outgoing, even back in uk, i had to drag him out, his life is sitting in front of tv watchn cricket or playstation ( when he wasnt working) AND FOOD he says in london was easily accessible, going to mcdonalds was time pass, here going to mcdonalds turns into a major meal time event......and oddly enough i feel guilty too here, even though i think ive morphed into feeling obliged to feel this way.
yeap im venting, cos my mate made me realise another thing that annoys me about my life in pakistan. but i doubt i can just leave my otherwise good husband just because wednt go out to eat...right.
I don't think this is a "Typical Desi trait" This is pretty messed up. Anyways, MIL and SIL ko khud sharam a jani chahiye...
noo man, they aint said anything directly to me, maybe to him they have. but im guessing its HIM who feels odd,his own feeling nothing else. hes not stingy, kanjoos or anything. he just feels that when u live with family, eating out should be together as a whole, because itl look rude.
noo man, they aint said anything directly to me, maybe to him they have. but im guessing its HIM who feels odd,his own feeling nothing else. hes not stingy, kanjoos or anything. he just feels that when u live with family, eating out should be together as a whole, because itl look rude.
unbelieveable.
No, you got me wrong. I was saying that most parents should and do know better than to tag along with their son when he goes out with his wife.
hmmmm, so i guess people are saying its not abnormal either. nothing shocking then.
dono about my friend, but my own husband isnt outgoing, even back in uk, i had to drag him out, his life is sitting in front of tv watchn cricket or playstation ( when he wasnt working) AND FOOD he says in london was easily accessible, going to mcdonalds was time pass, here going to mcdonalds turns into a major meal time event......and oddly enough i feel guilty too here, even though i think ive morphed into feeling obliged to feel this way.
yeap im venting, cos my mate made me realise another thing that annoys me about my life in pakistan. but i doubt i can just leave my otherwise good husband just because wednt go out to eat...right.
hai kitne masley.
Yeah, there's not much you can do about it. :( Life does suck at times. Concentrate on the positives for now until you are back home
yeh like i said, its not THEM, its HIS own damn feeling, he felt similar in uk, when we were with my parents, but it was ME who said lets go lets go, and most of the time we went out when we lived alone we would eat out all the time.......
Next time you go out with him and whole tabbar , give him a passionate kiss as a thank you after meal , the tabbar will stop going out and will insist that only you two go out .
It will work as a charm , I guarantee it.