Because they are not supposed to be hitting. The only option for them as per Quran hadees and sunnah is to go for an arranged marriage. They are not supposed to go out and start an affair. Quran orders men and women to lower their gaze while out in the public.
But with so much enlightenment in the educated boys and girls how is it possible ? The educated boys and girls refuse to marry someone they do not know. They want to interact, talk and get to know the person before they marry someone.
On the contrary we find so many ahadees emphasizing to marry a women for her youth and beauty. There are some ahadees which tell you to look for the morals of the person you wish to marry.
How would you decide on the beauty or morals of someone if you do not get to know the person ?
P.S.:I did not quote Quran and those ahadees because it is not a scholarly discussion about those verses and ahadees. If you are interested to know which ones go open the books please.
Re: Desi guys can never master the art of hitting.
i thought over this thing many times - that how can u marry some1 whom you do not know and do not tend to know without talking , or meeting or seeing .
but then there's 1 thing called qismat . you will get the only person who is in your qismat . yes you can try for many reasons such as self satisfaction ,etc. but at the end of the day , only that person walks upto you who is destined to be yours :)
Re: Desi guys can never master the art of hitting.
^^ Religously speaking you can talk or meet the person face to face. Its allowed in Islam
Yes I agree but what should be the limit on those kind of talks or meetings . In the olden days , the communities were small the people would know each other very well . If not they will know someone who would know this person very well. Also the times were simple people were not so demanding.
Now the world has expanded , it might not be possible to know a person you wish to marry in depth , also it can be tedious to find someone you know who knows.
Boys and girls of this day and age want to know a lot more about the person they want to marry. So what are their limits for this get to know process ?
Because they are not supposed to be hitting. T*he only option for them* as per Quran hadees and sunnah is to go for an arranged marriage. They are not supposed to go out and start an affair. Quran orders men and women to lower their gaze while out in the public.
But with so much enlightenment in the educated boys and girls how is it possible ? The educated boys and girls refuse to marry someone they do not know. They want to interact, talk and get to know the person before they marry someone.
On the contrary we find so many ahadees emphasizing to marry a women for her youth and beauty. There are some ahadees which tell you to look for the morals of the person you wish to marry.
How would you decide on the beauty or morals of someone if you do not get to know the person ?
P.S.:I did not quote Quran and those ahadees because it is not a scholarly discussion about those verses and ahadees. If you are interested to know which ones go open the books please.
EDITED
There is ZERO harm in getting to know the person before you get married. Talking to a female or vice versa doesn't lead to babies, dear.
Its why I don't want to go to pakistan. I feel, I'd probably choke a few people because this mentality is just so idiotic man.
aliG Arranged marriage has nothing to do with Islam. Its about understanding the other person.
Re: Desi guys can never master the art of hitting.
EDITED
There is ZERO harm in getting to know the person before you get married. Talking to a female or vice versa doesn't lead to babies, dear paindu.
Its why I don't want to go to pakistan. I feel, I'd probably choke a few people because this mentality is just so idiotic man.
aliG Arranged marriage has nothing to do with Islam. Its about understanding the other person.
Looks like you have to go and take lessons in English again to understand what is being said and what is being implied.
EDITED
Also you missed the following statement of mine in my post which is the central idea of my post **and used the kind of language.
**How would you decide on the beauty or morals of someone if you do not get to know the person ?
Because they are not supposed to be hitting. The only option for them as per Quran hadees and sunnah is to go for an arranged marriage. They are not supposed to go out and start an affair. Quran orders men and women to lower their gaze while out in the public.
But with so much enlightenment in the educated boys and girls how is it possible ? The educated boys and girls refuse to marry someone they do not know. They want to interact, talk and get to know the person before they marry someone.
On the contrary we find so many ahadees emphasizing to marry a women for her youth and beauty. There are some ahadees which tell you to look for the morals of the person you wish to marry.
How would you decide on the beauty or morals of someone if you do not get to know the person ?
P.S.:I did not quote Quran and those ahadees because it is not a scholarly discussion about those verses and ahadees. If you are interested to know which ones go open the books please.
in such situations where u want to go for arrange marriages, u can inquire abt them from their friends or ppl who know them . Islam doesnt prohibits u from a sitting or two in the presence of some elder and i guess 2 sittings are enough to know the nature of a person but sometimes for some lifetime is not even enough
Re: Desi guys can never master the art of hitting.
This is quite an interesting debate which I have thought about over the years. From personal experience I can come up with the following points.
Firstly as someone previously mentioned Islam allows you to talk to your prospect partner in the presence of a third individual. I think this can also mean that you are allowed to talk over dinner at a restaurant where there are other people around.(but thats just my interpretation of it).
About lowering ones gaze, Islam allows you to look around if you are looking with the intention of finding a partner and as long as the thoughts are pure.
The third point is the use of modern communication technology to get to know each other. Talk over the phone, exchange emails and ofcourse MSN zindabad .
Lastly it comes to the age old debate of love marriage vs arranged marriage. People stay in relationships for years and then as soon as they get married problems occur. The question is can you really know a person completely before you get married. Probably not. The whole idea is to know him/her enough to clarify your concerns etc. So this means that we need to be clear in our head in terms of what we are looking for first and then if we are throw in a mix of phone calls, email exchanges and a couple of meetings I am sure it should do the job.
in such situations where u want to go for arrange marriages, u can inquire abt them from their friends or ppl who know them . Islam doesnt prohibits u from a sitting or two in the presence of some elder and i guess 2 sittings are enough to know the nature of a person but sometimes for some lifetime is not even enough
i agree. it is actually more useful 2 find out about the person 4rm friends n extrended family or ppl who know htem and have dealt wiht them b4. usually such ppl espcly pkstni will b more htan happy 2 tell u bout htem. bcs even if u meet up with a coupl of times..tehy will b on their best behaviour..and that wont be enough time 2 find out about how they react 2 certain things..that coincidentally might not come up in those couple of meetings..
Because they are not supposed to be hitting. The only option for them as per Quran hadees and sunnah is to go for an arranged marriage. **They are not supposed to go out and start an affair. Quran orders men and women to lower their gaze while out in the public.
But with so much enlightenment in the educated boys and girls how is it possible ? The educated boys and girls refuse to marry someone they do not know. They want to interact, talk and get to know the person before they marry someone.
**On the contrary we find so many ahadees emphasizing to marry a women for her youth and beauty. There are some ahadees which tell you to look for the morals of the person you wish to marry.
How would you decide on the beauty or morals of someone if you do not get to know the person ?
P.S.:I did not quote Quran and those ahadees because it is not a scholarly discussion about those verses and ahadees. If you are interested to know which ones go open the books please.
Ahadith do tell you to see the person before marriage and in some conditions like in a family gathering or in a public place you can talk to the person you're going to get married, also you can interact through the phone or through e-mail etc.
