desi gift theory by Mr Fraudia

Arts & Culture Culture, Arts, Literature & Linguistics
1

my people..

I wondered at the number of similar looking gifts that i see being exchanged at weddings. and the number of mr. coffee brand coffee makers seen at a recent wedding made me marvel at the relationship of crappy gifts with desi population..

after my latest medidation (.. and medication nudge nudge wink wink) I have solved an age old question.. how does the number of gifts circulating in desi worldwide relate to the number of desis.

The formuls is following.. the number of desis and the number of desi gifts are directly proportional to each other, yet their is an equilibrium and the percentage of gifts does not change.

i.e.

g = xd

g= gifts
d= desi
x= equilibrium percent

see, this is how it goes. When jameel gets a gift he keeps it in a closet and recycles it by giving it to bilal…bilal keeps it and then gives is to ali..see what i mean. Its essentially the same gifts that are circulating among desi community on a worldwide basis.

The relationship between “g” and “d” changes somewhat at life events such as birth, marriage etc, when some new gifts come into this cycle. percentage of these gifts are then consumed by the recipient, but the rest are made a part of the great worldwide desi gift initiative. Scientists claim that there may be unopened sony betamax boxes still being circulated among desis.

So we have figured out that not only the gifts numbers stay the same as a proportion to the population..but that the percentage of recycled gifts remains the same as well. so basically if there are a 100 gifts in circulation..and 50% of them are new and 50% are recycled (even though the recycled number usually is much higher, my example is to keep this simple for now)..and due to a birth 2 new gifts are entered into the desi gifts realm..now research suggests that the delicate balance will be maintained and one of the gifts will be kept while the other will be recycled.

so

g = xd

n = zg

where

n = new gift
g = total gifts
z = percentage

..

zg + (g-zg) = xd

i.e new gifts + total gifts - new gifts i.e. recycled gifts = number of desis times the global desi gift constant x.

further reasearch is needed to figure out the values of x, g, and z since we already know d.

God willing, and with your support we will one day figure this out.

[This message has been edited by Fraudz (edited July 23, 2001).]

2

Interesting theory. And seems almost correct. :)

I make it a rule, that whenever I give a gift to someone, I place a chit INSIDE the gift box, saying

With Best Wishes -
From
Mr & Mrs ....
Date: ____

I am always amused to think that if this gift is forwarded 10-12 times, then Mr Fullana, when he opens the gift, will surely be laughing on seeing the date. Assuming, no one in the middle of the 'chain' bothers opening the gift wrap and I make sure to put the highest quality sticky tape on the mouth of the box. If you open it, its gone! :)

3

lol@the formula

http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/hehe.gif

http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/ok.gif

Hence proved=> What goes around, comes around!

4

only problem being that the ratio of recycled gifts may not reach equilibrium, perhaps it keeps growing. or is it.

5

Ok forgive me for differing once again.
I know I have a tendency to differ every time, specially since I believe that we desis shortchange ourselves and our society a lot. Its become a habit. We denigrate ourselves compared to 'western philosophies' and customs, we put our habits and customs down in comparison to, or even independent of so called 'modern customs'. To me its more like an easy way out of our cultural mold, and an easy way into western lifestyles.
I dont mind people adopting western lifestyles partially or completely, whatever may suit them, but whats this about talking bad of whatever you left behind? dun like it.

Anyway....about this gift giving business...once again, this is an exaggeration. Noone does that...and if you have indeed come across people/family members who do that, then believe me, believe me, they are an exception....not the rule for a desi society.

Normally, if a family is close-knit, they have a certain way of circulating gifts. In my family, I have often seen people asking around in weddings/parties or any gift-giving occasions as to what the person already has, and what they know someone else might be giving them. Knowing all this, everyone tries to make an effort to give them something different, hence avoiding duplication.

Now i know that even the above scenario may be an exception and not the rule, but that just goes to show that there is no rule regarding this. Every family, and every individual behaves differently. And based on one bad experience, you cannot cover a whole society with that example. Its just not fair.

6

fraudia bhai u always make me laugh big time…shouldve been in joke forum

http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/hehe.gif

agree with fish…

http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/ok.gif

what goes around, comes aroudn

http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/hehe.gif

oh and these people ali, jameel they realy know how to keep the dust of on the small and deep part of the gift..

http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/hehe.gif

[This message has been edited by nia_khan (edited July 24, 2001).]

7

Akif

Try taking a few laxatives and reading this post in a day. It may change your frame of mind. “tanz o mazah” is an essence of our literature and society..are you going to put up a post about ibne insha’s work saying that he had some sort of complex about our culture. I don’t see any problems with looking at funky aspects of our culture and talking about it among ourselves. All cultures do it, and it is not meant to be taken seriously.

If we agree with what you are saying, 90% of pakistani tanz o mazah is “not fair” as you put it.

P.S. nice bhashan by the way.

8

thsi explains why i keep getting a t-shirt that says olympics 1988 on it for every birthday from someone even though I always give it to my brother.

http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/smile.gif

9

Fraudiyay, aap tanz o mizah bhi likhtay heiN?

10

Roman yeh kya hota hai?

http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/tongue.gif

11

Fraudiyay, aap tanz o mizah bhi likhtay heiN?

Roman's been doing aap jina'ab a lot lately. He even politely took shots at me in General Forum. So buddy, who you been hanging out with lately, or rather, not been with lately?!

12

ghalib..roman also called me a chichora like you in another post in culture section. what did u do to him to get him so upset.

13

ghalib, I'm taking lessons in refinement these days.

Fraudiyay, tu to hai hee chichora.

14

Fraudiyay, tu to hai hee chichora...

I guess the "Refinement" didn't go too well...

p.s. welcome back..

15

what did u do to him to get him so upset...

I just wanted him to stop thinking of me as a stud!

16

ghalib, bee (pleas note, this is a different kinda bee) mandki to zakam hoa dekh kar acha laga - God bless your zalim samaj company who finally decided to give you internet access. Either that or you are sleeping with one of the Networking guys (You stud you!).

17

Either that or you are sleeping with one of the Networking guys (You stud you!)...

Roman, ap kay is comment say Gupshup ka "Chichoray Pun Ka Level" na sirf buland hua balkay eik na'ay pa'imanay pey pohoch giya...

18

bumped up for muniya and others

19

omg thats funny :hehe:

20

i never recycle any gifts, i feel doing that insults the other person