My cousins family are being pressured to move out of the area they live in london because the wife keeps bleeping on abput most of the people there are unemployed etc, which infuriates me, because we lived there all my life, and i was certaintly not deprived or unemplyed at the time, the area she is talking about isnt even in the top 100 deprived areas in the uk, its fairly ok, and all inner city areas are seen as deprived due to maybe the influx of pakis/bengalis/blacks there, etc. however i found nothing wrong with this town.
now they also live there, but want to move to a better area as they are worried for their children…er…and are scared of drug dealers they think they can see from their windows..lol…i moved out with hubby to a better area yet the house opposite was a man who was a drug dealer and the police were there all the time…
so whats a good answer for people like this, esp when its fairly baseless AND its about my hometown, which I have had alhumdulilah no problem living in, and neither did my employers ask me which borough i came from.
there isnt....its the slandering of the area they are doing, where i grew up for 24 years, where my parents live, and thank god we are all fine, not drug dealing lunatics who dont wish to work and live on a council estate......thats what im looking for answer for here, notthing with their moving...
its same, when people say things about pakistan....arent we the first to defend it, well i dont like someone whose only been livng here for 5 minutes to slander my area where i grew up safe and sound and everything was all right......they have just entered and are sticking their noses upp...bear in mind the girl is from jhelum and guy from manchester......and not buckingham palace...
Nadz, people see areas in a different light. You've got an emotional tie to the area, whereas I'm assuming the lady in question doesn't have the same link as you do to the area, thus she is seeing the negatives rather than any positives.
I know I feel much differently about Bradford (the desi area) than my extended family (in-laws) who settled there back in the 70's.
Every area has issues, I love my hometown even though I know it has issues in some areas too.
Time changes , people change ,opinions change etc etc.
The area we have been living in for the past Godknowshow many years isnt too good either nor too bad.
Nothing happened to my bro's but my cousins shifted here recently and they dont like it.Its just a matter of opinion and experiences.
Depends on what a person has gone thru and how they deal with things.
You deal with things in a different manner and your cousins wife sees things differently.
the same with I love KSA but many here don't and they have their reasons for disliking it and I have my reasons for liking it.
Buss a difference of opinion.So you need not reply anything to them.
nadz, you yourself said that you "moved to a better area"! whether it worked out that way or not, it was an attempt to go to a less deprived area. Your relatives want the same thing you wanted and they're honest about it.
can someone just answer the question, no one answers whats being asked here, just rambles on about the rightness of the question.....i asked something else, didnt ask for a reason why they were doing it....jeez.
You didnt really ask a very specific question other than what is a good way to deal with people who are looking to live in a "better" area.
wish them well. and if you know of an area that is "better" than where they currently live, then make the suggestion.
While you may feel that your old home-town is being insulted by them...really, would you move back there? You wanted better for your family and thats apparently why you moved. Arent they entitled to the same?
Dont punish them for being honest. You will very likely one day come to appreciate the honesty of your relatives.
NO wrong assumption again, I moved because we coudltn find a suitable 1 bed flat in my area, and so hubby said we have to look around now out the area otherwise will never find a place...so it wasnt really a matter of choice, we still are trying to look for a place to buy back in the area i used to live in...
and i wanted statistical remarks, something intelligent, something to say well your info is wrong...thats what.
nadz...dont get all huffy man...your words were "... i moved out with hubby to a better area "
You said it not me! Statistical remarks would require that you publish the exact location(s) of the area(s) in question but you really dont need those. The more "deprived" an area is, the cheaper the rents are. Are there drug dealers in better areas? Yes, I would bet there are. Maybe what you need to do is look for crime rates in the areas of interest. Low-income areas tend to have much higher rates of violent crimes. Local newspapers usually publish weekly police reports, these are a good indicator of the types of crime going on in the area. But the best indicator tends to be the price of real estate regardless of whether you're looking to buy or to rent.
nadz - I'd totally move to a 'better' area for my kids if things like the schools etc were better.
you can tell me all you like that you turned out okay going to the local school, if i thought my kids could do better in an area which better schools, i'd do whatever i could to move too.
we lived in all sorts of london areas when i was younger - brent, lambeth (which was not the largely affluent, trendy area it is now), wandsworth.. we didn't even live in any of the really rough ones but nevertheless schools were top priority and my parents made a lot of sacrifices for that. when my parents were finally ready to settle to a 'proper' family home, we moved to the outskirts of greater london where there is a high density of grammar schools. as a young couple, me and hubby could go quite happily and live in most places in london but not when we have kids.
and yea, tbh i'm prejudiced; i'd move away from pakistanis and benaglis too.
so in answer to your question, i have nothing for you to say to them, coz it sounds like they are making the right choice for themselves.
so whats a good answer for people like this, esp when its fairly baseless AND its about my hometown, which I have had alhumdulilah no problem living in, and neither did my employers ask me which borough i came from.
It's not only your hometown. Other people also lived there and perhaps their experiences were different from yours. It's not unusual for people to desire "a better" environment for their children. After all, you also left the borough to seek "something better" even though you ended up living next to a drug dealer. If you thought that the borough was good enough and were fully content with it, then you should have stayed there....or looked for another home within the same area. But the point is that you wanted to look for "better." There's nothing wrong with someone else wanting to do the same...and that too for their family. Don't take it too personally. The disser's opinion will not become some fundamental truth that it should upset you so much. It's not like her criticism soils or shuns you for living in that borough. An "answer" doesn't have to be given for everything. You too will have children like your cousin to worry about.......wish them well.
Why does it bother you so much? People move all the time, no one is obligated to give a reason as to why they do it. That's their business. Besides, it's her children that she's worried about and if she doesn't feel the area they're currently living in is secure enough then of course she's going to want to move. I'd definitely move to an area that I felt would be a better environment for my children to be growing up in. My parents did exactly the same with me and my siblings.
nadz - I'd totally move to a 'better' area for my kids if things like the schools etc were better.
you can tell me all you like that you turned out okay going to the local school, if i thought my kids could do better in an area which better schools, i'd do whatever i could to move too.
we lived in all sorts of london areas when i was younger - brent, lambeth (which was not the largely affluent, trendy area it is now), wandsworth.. we didn't even live in any of the really rough ones but nevertheless schools were top priority and my parents made a lot of sacrifices for that. when my parents were finally ready to settle to a 'proper' family home, we moved to the outskirts of greater london where there is a high density of grammar schools. as a young couple, me and hubby could go quite happily and live in most places in london but not when we have kids.
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and yea, tbh i'm prejudiced; i'd move away from pakistanis and benaglis too.**
so in answer to your question, i have nothing for you to say to them, coz it sounds like they are making the right choice for themselves.
Im sorry, i have to be honest here but I kind of agree with you.
Not that I hate ppl of other ethnic groups, but I would be very wary of living in any neighborhood thats predominantly black/asian/hispanic, just b/c those areas tend to be low income......white neighborhoods with a few blacks/etc are still better....
I recently moved to a nieghborhood thats a good 2.5 hours away from where I was raised; not that it was a ghetto or poor area, but I still like this one much better. Compared to many other places i've seen, our rent is cheap but by no means is it "low income" or a poor neighborhood. Its 90% Hasidic jews around here with a few Filipinos/hispanics/pakistanis/blacks in there.... I would definitely like to raise my kids here, maybe not in the same apartment but definitely in this neighborhood.
