oh come on DD don't tell me this :( I thought u were the jolly and allways the happy one, I even admired you for being so carefree and happy all the time (from reading your post) .
From what I gather, this is the whole process of Growing Up, U said 21, well you are becoming an adult from a teenager. It is confusing at the beginning of the process. I mean all the responsibilty, the decisions, the choices, your choice, it is not easy to grow up, but I promise you that once, maybe in few years you will sort out what you want in life and things will become clear. This coming from personal exprience :). People say that the earlier twenties are the most difficult in life in sense of character,becoming matur ect ect...
About ur studies, I dont know what u are studing but u must have choosen the wrong subject, maybe it does not interest you, thats why you are not learning much or dont feel like learing. I think u should take it easy. If you dont pass this year you can allways repeat the courses.
Hey I cant give u professional help but only some points to reflect over.
Good luck and keep smiling:)
Why don't you speak with your doctor and see what he or she has to say? Sometimes depression can be overwhelming and you can't overcome it.
SaadiaB - Thank you sooooooooooooooooooo much :)
I am usually happy and jolly - but recently - i don't know what has happened. I feel like i'm drowning in this.....
I guess it's the style of teaching - the independance - i can't cope. And you know for last three years i was with 7 girls, so we used to share work, help each other out, and now all alone..it's killing me !!
Sometimes i just go to my old campus and sit with them and TRY and do my work - i feel more comforted, more relaxed in familiar surroundings and faces - but then i go home and cry anyway..LOL..
I think i should go Drs and get some kind of note so if i don't do well in the exams at least i'll have a mitigating circumstance, he's Indian, he'll exaggerate the problem..
Saadia sis - i'm even thinking of skipping the classes, they depress me toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much...
:(
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Kareem: *
Why don't you speak with your doctor and see what he or she has to say? Sometimes depression can be overwhelming and you can't overcome it.
[/QUOTE]
Kareem - you think so???
I don't even know if i'm depressed or just having a bad week - but it's getting tooooo much to cope. What do you think?? I'm sorry for asking too much guys...i just need to let it all out of my system :(
[QUOTE]
Originally posted by *Disco~Duck: *
Kareem - you think so???
I don't even know if i'm depressed or just having a bad week - but it's getting tooooo much to cope. What do you think?? I'm sorry for asking too much guys...i just need to let it all out of my system :(
[/QUOTE]
If it is as overwhelming as it sounds and it has been going on for a long time, then you should speak with your doctor. If it really is depression, he or she will know. And if it is, you have to get whatever medications there are or else you will forever be fighting a frustrating battle.
If you think this is just like having a bad day, then that is different of course.
Kareem - Its been going on for weeks on/off. I was trying to push it to the back of my mind, trying not to worry, trying to tell myself i'm doing just fine, and then BOOM ! it hit me ...n now i feel sooooo useless...
DD yara again u r ......
oh my God somi yara why u r taking so much tension
yeah u r rite dat Masters is not dat easy but not dat difficult as u r thinking
i think sadia is rite may be u have chosen wrong subjects in which u have no interest so u sholud change if really really thinking dat u are not able to pay full attention
and if u ll just keep on thinking this dat u r depressed n wastes ur time in crying its not good for u n really it ll affect ur results n future too :(
i wish dat i can come there :( n y u r on hunger strike wht u think it iz rite choice hunnh somi what has happened ? wht u think u r rite ? no way yara
n yeah u must hve to see drs may be they ll help u n get u out of this situation inshAllah u ll be alrite :)
Dear duck,
Sounds like you are having one of those weeks...rest assured you are not alone, we all have them!!! Before you jump to the conclusion that you facing depression (Very serious stuff)...I would advise you to take a breather. This weekend...just escape...do not think about your classes...go out with your mates...engross yourself in your family...don't even think about your lectures!!! Get away if you can!
I know what you are thinking...you are alarmed at the prospect of falling behind...don't be! We all need a mental reset once in a while, and seems like you are due for yours. Some people do work well under pressure...but for all, there is a limit to what your brain can handle. I am certain that you will emerge from your weekend refreshed, and replenished to tackle that mean lecture of yours.
vr
Ahmar
Re: depression - stress - crying
[QUOTE]
Originally posted by *Disco~Duck: *
Guys n girls...
I don't know what has happened to me. You will not believe the amount i cry. I cry in the morning before i go to uni. I cry during uni if i can slip an un noticed tear. First thing i do when i come home is run to my room and sob for half an hour. I then proceed with homely chores n then resume the big cry. I am sick of it. I cry and cry and cry.
I know it seems trivial but this MAsters is hugely affecting me. NOt only because every thursday i get a HUGE confidence knock back when i go into this lecture. The teacher and students talk in a level beyond me. I do the preparation go in - only to find i can't understand what they are harping on about. And that just TRIGGErs it..
And the huge sob starts. And guys i can't eat no more. My motto for the last 21 years of my life is i live to eat not eat to live. And now the sight of food makes me SICK and i've lost weight and can't sleep...it's soooooooooooooo horrifying.
I have exams in 2 months and i just keep telling myself i'm won't be able to hack them :( I keep telling myself to get some anti-depressants from the Docs because at this rate i won't get any revision done. The sight of a book makes me cry :( Odd thing is when i DO sit down and focus its a piece of cake - it's just all these thoughts swirling around in my head that i can't do this..
And it's getting so bad in the last semester i have to complete a dissertation but i want this hell to end - so i'm planning to just forget it and get a Post Grad Diploma instead...
Why oh why is this happening to me????????? And before i start sobbing again..i'll leave it here...
( PS: No ripping me now ok? You can do that June 13th 2003 :)
[/QUOTE]
Jaan u had been going thru all this, all the time and never even bothered to tell us a little earlier, why?
Tell me one thing, seriously, did u really wanted to pursue the Masters in the first place, or was it due to family-pressure?
To me it sound more like that you were forced to do the Masters in which ever genre u weree dong it in... Otherwise, had it been your one will, the story would've been totally different...
Remember, few months back... in Cafe, we had a debate, and I told u guys that there is no point in studying excessively, for at the end of the day one will get a job no-where... Now days degrees are only effective when I wants to get married, that's whe the girl's parents ask you: 'beeta aap ke taleem kidhar taak hai?' Now of course at that point if you go and breif them: 'jee mein ne sirf A-Levels complete kyeah hai', ---> that sounds a bit tacky!!!... Go to an interview for a job and try impressing the employers with your degees, they'll laugh at your face and tell you: 'kia aap hamrey saath mzaak kar rahein hai? Aap sey pehley jo interview deneh aaya tha ous ke paas PhD ki degree thi.' No matter how hard you study, no-one gets a job swiftly by just showing one's 1st class degree...be it UK, PK, or FCUK... So enjoy your life yaar... life mein tension vension nahi lene ka, Bheja kyuon sarkane ka!
Jaan, My fav subject was Law, but ended up doing Bsc Computing. LOL Aur mazzey ki baat tou yea hai ke, mujhe computing se bilkool bhi dilchasphy nahi hai! Take for e.g. last week I was given a computing assignment to complete in Java worth 40% of my course. Try looking at the questions and you'll faint... My coursemates did all their studies etc... they are essentailly computer wizards when compared to me...
DD, I was exactly in the same position as you are presenty.... But I never cried, sobbed nor did I do other emotional stuff as such. In fact I kept myself in my senses... Came up with an on-the-spot strategy to over come of Java problems (fears)... So wot did I exacly do--->... well I hardly did my assignment!!! We were give 7 days to complete the task... 5 days I spent relaxing and coming up with an effective contingency plans in my bedroom... On the 6th day... I went to Univ.s LRC... marched over to couple of girls from my course-unit... messed around with them a little bit... asked them if they cound GIVE ME all of their java-codes and stuff... an in return I would take each of them out for a drink... they started giggling, shying, sissying and stuff... and thus they handed over all of thier assignment to me.... of course I never took them out for a drink... instead one of the girls even gave me her mobile number, in case if i needed that little bit of extra help... DONE... no headache-sheadache... I then forwarded the assignment to all of my asian friends who were in my condition... So the moral is: help yourself and hepl others too, next time they'll do the same to you!
DD the trouble with you is that u try to do all of that stuff in which you're not that good at... and u dont know how to use those ppl surounding you... it's very important to be able to use ppl for one's own benefit... be it your classmates, your collegues, your boyfriends or whom ever... Should one fail to do so... well one will end up having a nick on one's msn messenger reading 'my life is mEsnD-up' at some point...
So the moral of the sory is that enjoy your life yaar... life mein tension vension nahi lene ka, Bheja kyuon sarkane ka. Zindagi mein jo chahega mily jaey ja...
And as for you dropping the post graduation... well it's not a bad idea... i mean at the end of the day.... the higher education in EU is free for the majority... ur not paying from your parent's pocket, or are you?... One can do Post graduation at anytime in one's life... it's not the end of the world if u don't do it.. or there is a 100 garnd job waiting for you to finish your p-graduation?... I know this good friend... who got married at the age of 19... she had two kids and now she has returend to univ to study medical...
Jaan life lifts f at the age of 21 and tum ho ke roh roh ke aapna bura haal kyahua hai!!! yaar snap out of it! trustme those tears of your's are each worth over 110 grands for all of us... so dont sead them toomuch... warna bohat nukhsaan ho jaye ga! acha!
And as for ripping you, well I'll do that as soon as this chaand raat or on the eve of eid ;)
*niki - * Sis i love you. Kasam se you and Gizz are an incredible source of strength for me :-( Each time i have enough of whats happening i just come online to talk to you guys.. :-( thank you sooooooo much. Sis, i enjoy the subjects, i have studied it once before. The teaching approach is different yaar. I studied exactly the same thing and got a damn good mark previously but NOW they have different approaches, different thoughts and ideas and you know Proffessors - they try to mould your ideas and thoughts to correspond with theirs..Anyway thanksss... hugs
Ahmar Thank you so much for looking at my whole scenario from a different angle and i am wondering whether i'm just having a panic attack...
I don't know. Yaar. I did that last week. I put my files away for four days but Ahmar jee - i have this huge huge urge to be around people - be it my friends or family - yet when i'm with them i'm all sullen and quiet and hardly say anything. My friends are like what's wrong? what's wrong? and i feel like a DORK saying oh i just had another breakdown last night and this morning and oh right now too :D
And you know about having a breather - i keep thinking i don't know what to do - i'm going to fail - i'm so thick - and i hate going into class each week ...and i could really go on and on about myself but thankkkkkkkksssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss :)
aladin My little darling sweetheart brother hug I'll have to call you when i get my phone on Monday and you can just YELL AT ME !!! I need that. I need someone to tell me to get a grip of myself :-(
Yaar - i was NEVER forced into this. I opted for it myself. Now i just WISH sooooooo badly i'd just gotten married !!! I wouldn't be living through this bull**** now. And about not having mentioned it - yaar kya kehti - i feel guilty for telling the others on MSN too - like aise hi unko tension de rahi hu by moaning at them :-( But now you offered your listening services i'm going to groan to you toooo...
I know what you mean about degrees being nothing - but i'd rather not think like that right now - because then i WILL FAIL :-(
Anyways thank you shooooooooooooooooooooo muchy wuchy for your advice - mail me your number - i'm going to call you next week :)
Re: depression - stress - crying
oooh dont cry…im gonna cry tooo…
^ Trying not to seeks :(
- tum itna jo muskuraa rahe ho
kyaa gham hai, jis ko chhupa rahe ho *
mujhay naheen pata tha diddo ke tumhari muskurahaton ke peechay ye ghum chupay hayn…
a great big ((((((((hug)))))) for u diddo…lub u alwayz 
how come u never told me u were going thru all this? akele akele hi itna kuch bardaasht kya? y? i am so glad u decided to share this with everyone here now…u shudnt keep these things in urself yaar…its okay to share them…
life mein aisa kabhee na kabhee sab ke saath hota hae yaar, this is nothing unusual u r going thru believe me, himmat karo, Allah pe bharosa rakho…remember Allah never gives a burden greater than what u can handle…what u have written about, a lot of it i have gone thru as well at some point in my life yaar…and hamari age bhee same hae, both 21 went thru the same experience of getting separated from my very close friends whom i had always been with, then independent kind of studies which i was not used to, with no help from friends, hating school, crying day and night, being depressed, not wanting to eat, not wanting to sleep, wanting to be around ppl but then feeling alone and being sad nevertheless, been thru all of it yaar believe me…i know how u feel…dont be sad yaar and dont worry so much, kuch bhee nahee hua…jitna ho sakta hay araam se karo…koi apnay aap ko mushkil mein daalnay kee zaroorat naheen…take small steps aahista aahista ker ke, be easy on yourself…try to be regular in your prayers and religious obligations, be physically fit and active…take care of ur health and diet…dont take antidepressants yaar mujhay in dawaon shawaon pe bharosa naheen talk to your friends when you are down…and Allah kee zaat sab se bari hae…
have faith, you can do it yaar, just give it your best shot, aahista aahista jitna hota hae, whatver is the best for u will happen, try to come out of this…namaz parho, quran parho, start going to a gym or something, physical exercise really helps…
aahista aahista u will come out of it yaar, inshallah…cheer up now and promise yourself you will try to stay happy and himmat karo gi Allah sub se Raheem aur Kareem hae, i know you will be fine diddo
as for studies diddo…
i have a solution for you…
yaar go and talk to your professors…tell them exactly how you feel…completely…and tell them you want to catch up, you want to work hard, you need their help…
forget about what has already happenned and if u r behind waghera…nobody is perfect and efficient all the time believe me yaar just tell them and ask for their help and they will help you and you will feel so much better when you know there is someone there to guide you through everything…
remember yaar, u still have time and it is not too late to start, so kuch bhee naheen hua
have faith and take the help of those around you okay? if you dont tell them whats happenning aur is tarhaan akeli akeli gham mein uljhi raho gi toh kuch nahene ho ga meri jaan, just go and talk to your profs and teachers, i know they will help you inshallah
luv u
((((Hugs)))))
Aww everything will be ok Insh”Allah.
I may be wrong, but crying in solitude is healthy to a certain level. Reasoning being that I have noticed that when I do get stressed or depressed its better to just cry or talk to someone close to you than going and taking it out on someone else. Crying can be a good mode of coping through whatever difficult predicament we may be facing, but the best remedy is to talk to someone, who might able to inspire and motivate you to get through the hard times.
Everyone has given great advice, hope you will get through it InshaAllah.
Best wishes baji .
I think i should go Drs and get some kind of note so if i don't do well in the exams at least i'll have a mitigating circumstance, *he's Indian, he'll exaggerate the problem.. *
Everything else seemed so-so in the thread, but this was simply hilarious.... lol... kahan kahan sey excuses laatey hai log...
**irem ** Thank you so much yaar. SOOOOOOOOOOO much 
Its words from people like you who bring a smile to my face. Yaar, you know today i’m feeling betterrrr - ( MASHALLAH). I had a cry in the morning but largely i’ve been ok…it’s assuring to know ke people have been there. faced this and i hope INSHALLAH i can say the same one day too. ITs just in the darkest moments irem..i feel like everything is lost…and then like rite now - im thinking positive - its a rollercoaster ride…
Thanksssssssss though…ill reply to your pm
belle sweetheart. Thanks yaar for your kind words. I do that too yaar, i try to put a brave face on with everyone else and then i come home n breakdown…and ithink its better like that I try not to pass it onto others… n 
at calling me baji .. hehe..
Ana Yaar, did that sound bad?? I take it back…
What i meant was my Indian Doctor hands out medical notes like freebies. So at least i know if things go real bad i can rely on him…
Do you ever give advise or do you just make fun of people…you act like your a bully from high school… 
DD i wouldn’t pay much attention to what anoji says…shes a bitter person..likes to take her problems out on others.
yaar duckiiiiiii…dafa karo doctors ko…aisay hi baaz dafa hota hai…merey saath bhi hota hai lekin mein kuch dino k baad theek ho jaata hoon tum bhi theek ho jaao geeeee…koi dawaai leney ki zaroorat nahi, koi dcotor nahi :nono: sirf aik bari si aur “kiss”