I was listening to radio today, where they were airing this particular show on children’s psychotic disorders ranging from depression to ADHD to bipolarity. Apparently there has been an increase in number of cases where children have been showing signs of such psychotic disorders. Since the depression related madicines have been mostly geared towards treating adults, some of the people think that using such medicine for children are not good since their internal organs have not fully grown and are more vurnable.
One interesting comment one of the interviewee made while asked what could be the reason that children are suffering from such psychotic disorders which have mostly been associated with adults, she replied that children are spending way too much time under the supervision of babysiters or pre-kindergarten daycare centers and not enough with their parent(s). Now, this was just her opinion. I’m not sure if there is some sort of statistical data or study available that proves her point. But I for one accept her reasoning and logic.
I agree with the part that spending a lot of time with paid care-givers (baby sitters, fullt-time pre-kindergarten etc) must have some harmful effects. There were multiple studies recently (some were covered by CNN a few weeks ago and some by local news stations- again radio), which analyzed the behavior of kids who were tended (almost) full time by their parents, compared to those who were dropped off to paid care-givers, and they found that kids who grow up with parents tend to be more social (? - cz common wisdom would suggest that those with other kids their age would be more social) and more confident.
There are also studies that suggest that kids who are in day care or around other people learn to be more socially active and get along with others a lot better than those sucking on their mama's titties all the time.
I dont understand one thing. Why is it assumed that children who stay home with moms are going to spend quality time. I have seen friends and family whose children at home are as lonely as General Noriega in Homestead, Florida. These children would start the day by getting up, screaming and yelling, watching cartoons, playing with the action figures of cartoons they just watched on WB. They dont eat breakfast since they wont be leaving home any way. By around 11 ish, there moms would start the ritual of trying to feed them home-made nehari. They hate it. So they end up eating kosher hot dogs or spaghetti with tomato sauce.
Oh now its almost 1 PM and Miss Mom just got done talking for two hours with the hamsaaee who also happens to be RAISING FOUR children and is from the same gaaoN as her.
By now the kids are so fking bored of tv that they start playing play station. A fight emerges and they hit eachother like the WWF wrestlers... and the day goes on.
meanwhile their day-care counterparts started their day at 8AM at a decent center where the kids to teacher ratio is 4:1. They start of eating pancakes and banana. Do some arts activities. By 10 they go out to play in the park. COme back and ready for lunch. Eat like a clock at 12:00 Noon. hey its 12:30 and its nap time. They all go to sleep together ina slightly darkened room. Wake up after two hours of solid sleep. Its time for a light snack. How about goldfish and cranberry juice. Sounds goo says the 3 year old Raheel.
It's time to help the teachers. Let's put everything back in its place and throw all the napkins in the trash.
Oh-ho it's 5 PM. Here comes Raheel's daddy. Raheel goes and gives daddy a big hug and says bye bye to Miss Olga until the next day.
Isolated examples is one thing (each of us can quote dozens to prove one thing or another). Typically these studies (responsible studies. i.e.) examine a larger sample from a cross-section and study their behavior to come out with scientific conclusion.
Yeah, you can pick a lousy mother and prove her kids don't gain much by staying with her, or you can pick johnny-whiz-kid and prove he became a super genius by going to Challenger Kindergarten, whereas he probably would have been a genius whether he went to Challenger or Mommy's own school.
Its true but study shows a lot of time either way can a have its affects.. lot of babay sitting and lot of mama sitting..
Other day we were talking with our south indian neighbors
as they were complaining in light mood that their baby sitter (a gorgeous russian immigrant ) puts DVD’s and cassettes of some russian dances and she dances all day on one toe.. practicing her dance skills.. baby boy who is around 2 also tries those skills and in the evening asks his parents to perform those acts! now this desi couple with typical desi physique , stretch and elasticity doesnt like that..
When this 'typical desi couple' hired a gorgeous russian immigrant to dance all day in front of telly while taking care of their 2-yr old, what was the 'typical' thing they were trying to accomplish anyway? :-)
Daycare or nurserys or what-ever is only one reason that has been put forward, that is not the point, the main point was that an increasing number of CHILDREN are being diagnosed as clinically depressed or as suffering from other mental disorders. Now Matsui Oncle, for once instead of trying to proove to the rest of us that you are witty try and imagine your kid in this situation.
What this study seems to suggest to me is that childhood isn't infact the rosy time we like to paint it as, through our coloured specs we fail to remember the bullying the malicious behaviour.......etc....children are small and cute to adults, to each other they are life sized.
I suggest that perhaps this phomenon has always been around but is only becoming more acceptable or recognisable now, nevertheless children (younger than me :p) are being put under increasing amounts of pressure from all sectors of society. Peer pressure, school, family, media. Even little 5yr olds are being marketed at, forget teenagers its well known that apart from adolesant boys Britney Spears other largest fan base is in the under twelves. What message exactly is she selling? Which toys do kids HAVE to have, how should they act to be accepted?? A mothers idea of what a child should be is radically different from their peers. Leading us nicely to the discussion about "wannabes" in the other thread....
However in the past the only major influences in a childs life were school and family and as kids are being forced to grow up ever-quicker, this seems to be the proof that it really is not healthy and only seems to be having a negative effect on childrens mental and physical health. What also intersts me is that once someone is depressed it is well accepted that it usually stays with them throughout their life, and as "the children are our future" this is gonna be one hell of a screwed place. Even more so. These stats are only warnings it has a potential of getting a whole lot worse. Madhanee I suggest that these people cared about kids, not everything links back to keeping women in the house. Women who want to be kept in the house will. And I see nothing wrong with a woman who wants to persue a career as a house wife, it sure as hell is more productive than a lot of other dumbass careers.
Studies done in Pakistan suggest that if you have more than 6 children, it is best if the mother stays home and raises at least two of them. This is based on the theory of "raise the raiser". The two raised can then raise the other four while you gossip on the phone all day long.
After age 5, most kids start school full time (KG is usually only 3-4 hours per day/5 days a week). From first grade onwards, the children are pretty much on their own most of the day time, and don't require mom to stick around outside the school.
Your question doesn't make sense, are you suggesting that it is solely the inputs of the mother or babysitter that mould the child? I disagree
Children go to school as a result they are subject to outside forces like the media and peer pressure.
Many children have loving parents but are forced to the edge of their sanity due to outside pressures. Child suicide rates are also on the increase.
But answering your question:
As a mother I would try and raise a well balanced child as a babysitter I would try and do the same.
I agree that spending most of the time with paid babysitters and daycare centres, because both mum and dad are working or are busy with their activities, where the child is hardly getting their time, care and attention, could be one reason. Its interesting how no one brought this up, but i think another major reason is probably domestic problems between parents. A lot of marriages in the western society donot last long, and this has a huge effect on young minds. Domestic arguments, voilence, drug use, separation and divorce etc. all contribute to it.
It's true that there are genetic reason as well social. But let's talk about social reason alone.
Funguy has a point. I've seen way too many brats spending way too much time with mommy. I think problem is that a lot of mothers while raising kids impose their social upbringing on kids rather than adjusting their lifestyles or likes/dislikes according to what's good for the kids beyond keeping an eye on them sitting at home and handing them over latest X-box games.
I've seen examples where many parents tend to extend their social circle to friends/families who have kids in the same age group as of their own and their kids get along very well with those other kids. I've also seen working parents who after having kids decide to have the mother work on part-time basis so that kids will spend lesser time with baby-sitter.
The bakwas I don't agree with is that couples who focus too much on their careers even after having children. Money and career are important, true, but I have seen a lot desi families where they think that providing good living to their children and sending them off to good school is the ONLY responsibilty they have towards them. Most of such families actually came from poor families. They spent their childhood in poverty or did not have they financial freedom that they can now offer to their children. For them, answer to all human deprivation is money, big house, and few cars in the driveway. When their kids grow up, they then expect them to be exactly like how they wished they'd turn out since they had worked hard to earn that money and provide for them in their childhood. Well, guess, they don't.
Depression occurs with lack of support. Lack of support occurs with lack of communication. Parenting ain't the same as it used to be a geneartion ago. Our generation and the next will have different and peculiar problems to face and situations to answer.
Talking about sex was taboo not too long ago. But it was a different environment. Nowadays with the introduction of 24/7 & 500 channels TV, internet and movies the children are becomming a confused lot. Parents need to communicate openly regardless of the babysitter or not.
Madhanee, maybe I think I perhaps was wrong, in which case Im bowing out this thread and leting a buncha males discuss wheither women should satay at home :D see ya
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*Originally posted by Madhanee: *
Kids also pick up another language if the caregiver is Latino or French. British nannies usually kill little kids.
) puts DVD’s and cassettes of some russian dances and she dances all day on one toe.. practicing her dance skills.. baby boy who is around 2 also tries those skills and in the evening asks his parents to perform those acts! now this desi couple with typical desi physique , stretch and elasticity doesnt like that..