So I got married this past weekend. Everything went good. Of course there were minor hiccups…and looking back I have small regrets. But overall, everything went great.
Here is the problem: Since the reception ended (literally as I was in the bridal suite about to start changing)…I started getting feelings of sadness. It’s over. This event that I dreamed about all my life…this one day that fiance and I spent MONTHS planning…this one day that literally ruled my existance for the last few months…is over. I will never be a “bride” again.
Obviously I have to re-direct all the time/energy that went into wedding planning onto something else. Aside from the fact that our house looks like a war-zone and needs MAJOR cleaning…we need to start planning our honeymoon soon. I’m super happy that I’m married and the stress of the planning is over.
But this feeling of sadness sucks (for lack of a better word)…lol. I knew it would take a week or so for me to get back into “reality” after all the wedding craziness that I’ve been dealing with for the past few months…but this feeling of sadness is not something I was expecting.
Can anyone here relate to this at all? I talked to my husband (gawd it feels weird to even write that!!!) about this and unfortunately, he can’t relate at all.
P.S. MANY thanks to all of you here who helped me with tips the last few months! Once I’m over this phase…I will post more details along with some pics.
Hey Congratulations. :) Wish you a very long and happy married life.
As with the sadness, I think you are currently experiencing post wedding blues or what they call post-nuptial depression. It’s a lot common than we think, but its okay, you’d be over it no time. :)
I'm afraid that I might go through what your going through now.. I get that feeling when I start thinking about it as well! I try to make my mind busy by thinking about my wedding stuff to ignore the thought.. Hope someone who has gone through it can give some advice!
Maybe its the realization that the event "I had dreamed my whollllllllee life for" is actually such a mundane task? How about chanelling this sadness to something more productive?
Ok ok, dont take me seriously. Actually do, actually dont.
Contrarian: As I stated in the 3rd paragraph of my original post, I'm aware of the fact that I need to re-direct my time/energy into non-wedding events. It is a transition that's not going to happen over night (Heck I got married 48 hours ago!). And no, despite my sadness, I don't see my wedding day as "mundane". If I had to do it all over again, I would spend the same amount of time/energy/money into that day.
Sadness/depression immediately after the wedding is not something I've seen discussed or mentioned on G.S. or the other wedding forums I've been frequenting since I started my planning. I just wanted to see if this was "normal" or am I just weird.
this is not something that only you are feeling…many gals and I’m sure many guys go through it too.
hang in there…soon there will be something else to occupy your mind and keep you busy…like planning the honeymoon.
perhaps find something else to focus on that will be an on-going activity…like life together.
and you are absolutely right…nobody wants to talk about this feeling…maybe because they don’t want to admit that they are experiencing it.
Well, last night we met up with friends for dinner. I'm trying to plan some lunches and dinners with some friends that I haven't been able to see much for the past month or so. I also plan on re-starting some recreational classes that I stopped taking due to the wedding planning. Of course, I need to catch up on work...lol. And then there's honeymoon planning. :)
I guess I just need to give it some time and allow my mind to settle back into reality.
As much as I can understand the sadness of the event being over and the whole you'll never be a bride again, I really can't understand why you would actually be depressed about it. I mean depression is taking it to a whole different level. I feel like I would be sad for a moment but the idea of marriage to the person you love is a much greater source of happiness, excitement and something to look forward to than the wedding. That makes it seem like you were just excited about the wedding and not the marriage itself which is what actually matters :P
I wouldn't expect your husband to relate to it at all because guys hate the whole craziness and don't get why girls concentrate on it so much to begin with
Anyways, I hope you have fun on your honeymoon and the sadness goes away soon :)
of course its not over. you have so much more to plan and do!
your home, your honeymoon, the 1st month mark, 6 month mark, the first anniversary, first married Ramadan, 1st married eid … eventually pregnancy, then birth then …
gosh I can go on and on … but i’m sure you get my point.
enjoy the new marital bliss! … there is nothing quite like it.
another reason may be that you haven't really, truly "seen" the fruits of all the labour that you put into that single day........
once you see the photos, the video etc you will realize that your efforts were successful in accomplishing the results that you set out to achieve. it's nearly impossible to see them the next day.....
In my opinion, you guys should go to Makkah/Madinah and perform Umra instead of investing money on honeymoon. Believe me it will make you more happy. You may go to elsewhere in your life but starting your journey by performing umrah is really good idea. my two cents.
Aras: Depression may have been a bad choice of word on my part. Among all the happiness…there’s just a small hint of sadness.
Seriously everyone…thank you for the kind/sweet words!!! You have no idea how much I needed this. I’m sure this will go away soon…but dealing with this unexpected feeling while it’s here doesn’t feel good.
Sadness/depression immediately after the wedding is not something I've seen discussed or mentioned on G.S. or the other wedding forums I've been frequenting since I started my planning. I just wanted to see if this was "normal" or am I just weird.
I have heard some girls feeling sad that they are off the market. So I guess not being at the helm of everything since wedding frenzy can be depressing.
