Re: depressed girls after marriage
You sound bipolar.
Re: depressed girls after marriage
Thanks sweet pip.
And i do agree that marriage is very stressful, but it doesnt mean you cant live a normal life.
My patients with depression were married and got through it and had kids and got through it.
You need support throughout thats the main thing, from people around you and from health services.
Is your finace understanding about your issue?
You sound bipolar.
And you diagnosed that how exactly?
Do Not go around labelling people.
what i mean is say you are a girl who has a genetic predisposition towards depression. so you already have it before marriage, there is no specific reason it is just a mood disorder you have where you tend to stay more down because it is in your genes. and then say you get married, i wanted to know if it the depression would get better or would it get worse maybe due to normal stresses in the relationship or due to having more responsibility in your life.
Masoomkali, I was just asking my Dad about this, he's a Psychiatrist, and he reckons really you shouldn't go into marriage without dealing with ur issues first. The added responsibility of marriage and having to adjust and live with ur new spouse (even moreso if it's a traditional arranged marriage where u may not know him that well) can be hard for the 'average' person so someone who is prone to depression is obviously more likely to struggle.
Nadz, that was an inconsiderate thing to say, if u saw what these ppl go thru u wouldn't wish it on anyone, self harm, suicidal thoughts (a patient at my dad's hospital tried to kill herself by running onto a motorway) etc.. It is nothing like just feeling down cos ur going thru a bit of a bad time. Just as people can suffer serious physical ilnesses they suffer from mental ones that are just as bad and doctors don't just diagnose depression as easily as u've implied. There are a lot of procedures and tests to go thru and a strict regiment of treatment, imagine if a man starts to hallucinate or hears voices in his head telling him to go out and kill, would u suggest a bit of hope and namaaz will cure this..
Nadz, i really really disgaree with what you are saying. Having worked in the psychiatry department of my hospital depression is a very serious and real issue its not some **** the people made up. Unless you have worked in psychology or psychiatry i dont think uyou should give advice.
Masoom, are you on any medication and how much help are you recieving from health services.
How does your mood fluctuate?
With those with some form of clinical depression whether it be mild or severe, there is lots you can do.
Can you just shed some light on what some health professionals have said about what you have?
as general points.
Excercise is a fanatstic way to reduce depression as it increases seretonin and endorphins.
HAve supportive familu and friends aroudn to talk to
Consult your doctor/psychologist to review the medication
Consider some form of CBT or other talking therapies.
SOme of the replies on here have really annoyed me. grrrrrrrrrrr
no. i am not on any medication right now. i have tried a couple like paxil, effexor and prozac but they did nothing. paxil just made me tired and out of it and i started gaining weight with it so fast. effexor XR did calm me down as in did not get me angry as much but it totally numbed me out and i started getting weird OCD type behaviours and i started to become anorexic and very weak and exhausted. prozac made me even more disturbed. i would start getting more irritated and angry and snapping at people. when i was getting off of it it was really bad. guilt trips crying spells lamenting over past painful events repeatedly playing in my mind all night.
i did some research on my own and i found something that helped me quite a bit. skullcap. but i have to make sure i get full and proper sleep and that i eat on time.
sometimes i am good for so many days. but sometimes i get so down and i feel extreme guilt for things in the past. i also blame a lot to others and myself. sometime it feels like i am thinking too much and i cannot stop my mind. people have said i have negative thinking and lots of doubts. sometimes i start fighting and screaming and yelling when some irritation or thought is triggered in my mind. it could be because of a innocent comment made or somehting i read or saw on tv.
they think i have major depression and GAD. but i do not think it is that clear cut because as i said those medications do not work on me.
exercise makes me have more vehems irritation and anger bursts and just a little knocks me out dead tired
about talking therapies. if i get a gora gori therapist who does not understand our culture i think they might just make me worse. and desis are a no no becuase they all know eachother. another reason my mom does not want me to get therapy is because she thinks they will attach this crazy label with my name in systems forever.
no. i am not on any medication right now. i have tried a couple like paxil, effexor and prozac but they did nothing. paxil just made me tired and out of it and i started gaining weight with it so fast. effexor XR did calm me down as in did not get me angry as much but it totally numbed me out and i started getting weird OCD type behaviours and i started to become anorexic and very weak and exhausted. prozac made me even more disturbed. i would start getting more irritated and angry and snapping at people. when i was getting off of it it was really bad. guilt trips crying spells lamenting over past painful events repeatedly playing in my mind all night.
i did some research on my own and i found something that helped me quite a bit. skullcap. but i have to make sure i get full and proper sleep and that i eat on time.
sometimes i am good for so many days. but sometimes i get so down and i feel extreme guilt for things in the past. i also blame a lot to others and myself. sometime it feels like i am thinking too much and i cannot stop my mind. people have said i have negative thinking and lots of doubts. sometimes i start fighting and screaming and yelling when some irritation or thought is triggered in my mind. it could be because of a innocent comment made or somehting i read or saw on tv.
they think i have major depression and GAD. but i do not think it is that clear cut because as i said those medications do not work on me.
exercise makes me have more vehems irritation and anger bursts and just a little knocks me out dead tired
about talking therapies. if i get a gora gori therapist who does not understand our culture i think they might just make me worse. and desis are a no no becuase they all know eachother. another reason my mom does not want me to get therapy is because she thinks they will attach this crazy label with my name in systems forever.
Hi masoom, thanks for replying with your info.
You sound like you have a affective ( meaning emotion realted) mood disorder. Have you hada full assessment from someone saying what diagnosis you have?
How long did you try prozac for it can take about 2-3 weeks to work, prozac is generally a good medication for young ladies. How old are you btw?
Can ask what sort of vehems you get? do you feel something might happen to you or someone is trying to do something to you? do you feel things are there which other people cannot see/hear understand?
I understand times must be very very diffcult for you at the moment but talking therapies can be very good.
I have to go down for dinner but i will come back and complete my post.
Hi masoom, thanks for replying with your info.
You sound like you have a affective ( meaning emotion realted) mood disorder. Have you hada full assessment from someone saying what diagnosis you have?
How long did you try prozac for it can take about 2-3 weeks to work, prozac is generally a good medication for young ladies. How old are you btw?
Can ask what sort of vehems you get? do you feel something might happen to you or someone is trying to do something to you? do you feel things are there which other people cannot see/hear understand?
I understand times must be very very diffcult for you at the moment but talking therapies can be very good.
I have to go down for dinner but i will come back and complete my post.
no i did not have full assessment done. no therapist for reasons stated before.
i took prozac for a couple of days. i was telling off people left and right (way worse than before) so i had to stop. i am 24.
i get vehems like when joint family is around i feel like if someone is walking around outside the room then they are trying to listen on purpose so they can find out secret stuff about me and spread rumours to everyone we know. one time i made my bhabi cry because she came inside the room to ask why i wasn not having breakfast and what happened and i snapped at her that she came to watch my thamasha and i will do nashta when i have to mind her own damn business. no it is not delusions or hallucinations at all. it is more like suspicions and paranoia that people are out to runin my repuation in community and spread rumours about me that i am abnormal and mess up my life. things like this.
Re: depressed girls after marriage
Hiya
Ok few things here.
You really need to have a full assessment, you are 24 so you can very easily get this done in full confidence.
Prozac is very affective but always makes you worse before getting better so if you do go to the doctor they can monitor you and give you more info. Where did you get it from the first time?
Please please please get an assessment help is out there for you, you can do it all in confidence.
I really cannot say over the internet whether or not you are having dellusions but paranoia and such fixed beliefs can sometimes develop into dellusions, but with help and meciation it can be stopped.
I am going to give you an example of one of my patients.
She was 21 when she got enagaged and suffered similar issues to yourself, her family kept things hidden and pretended everything was fine, she got married a year later and things spiraled out of control, she would accuse her husband of cheating due to paranoia and became very depressed, her in laws didnt understand her and the marriage broke down.
She came to the hospital for help, had therapy and takes medication and is now happily married with 3 kids and an understanding husband.
Asian people attach labels to emotional issues, its hard i know it is! But before things get worse and if you want your marriage to have any chance of working get some help. Its hard and scary but it will be better for you in the long run.
If you have problems now in your family home, a change might make things worse, your in laws might not be sympathetic to your needs and so addressing it now might be a good idea.
I dont want to label you or force you, but i think the best thing to do honestly is see your doctor.
Which country are you in?
Check out this link..its useful!
Re: depressed girls after marriage
Mas., I know one gal who I think is similar to yourself. She was born and raised in Pak and had an arranged marriage, a lovely huge affair with alllllllll the trimmings. She was prone to depression even prior to marriage but the whole wedding thing perked her up.
After the wedding she travelled to USA where she set up apartment with her new hubby. She went part time to college classes (2 evenings per week) and her hubby went to work all day. So she was all alone in a small apartment, in a strange country, had no knowledge of cooking or cleaning or grocery stores or anything. She pretty much crashed into depression.
Her husband, bless him, took very good care, came home from work and either took her out to show her around or would teach her how to cook. Encouraged her to get out and about, to meet people etc.
I would recommend to save medications as a very last resort. Try to pull yourself up by the heels and get out, meet people, join a ladies club that has at least some interest for you. Also, theres something called St Jon's Wort that can help. Just be aware that it can cause troubles in conceiving so do not take it while attempting pregnancy.
I wish you the very best. Having depression can be work to overcome. Hard work. But if you step back and look at it as your job - to overcome it I mean...maybe that would make things a bit easier as far as making and implementing a plan.
Hugs and prayers to you.
ok i will. but medication gives me other mental symptoms even after the intial 3 weeks. and what if in laws expect baby in near future then how can i take medications. and when i get off i will be totally crazy with hubby. withdrawal off of antidepressants is ferocious. it might ruin my marriage.
but skullcap has given me relief. so far it is the best thing. no side effects no withdrawal. have you heard of it in your work.
thanks a lot alvena for taking out your time to help me out. much appreciated:)
Mas., I know one gal who I think is similar to yourself. She was born and raised in Pak and had an arranged marriage, a lovely huge affair with alllllllll the trimmings. She was prone to depression even prior to marriage but the whole wedding thing perked her up.
After the wedding she travelled to USA where she set up apartment with her new hubby. She went part time to college classes (2 evenings per week) and her hubby went to work all day. So she was all alone in a small apartment, in a strange country, had no knowledge of cooking or cleaning or grocery stores or anything. She pretty much crashed into depression.
Her husband, bless him, took very good care, came home from work and either took her out to show her around or would teach her how to cook. Encouraged her to get out and about, to meet people etc.
I would recommend to save medications as a very last resort. Try to pull yourself up by the heels and get out, meet people, join a ladies club that has at least some interest for you. Also, theres something called St Jon's Wort that can help. Just be aware that it can cause troubles in conceiving so do not take it while attempting pregnancy.
I wish you the very best. Having depression can be work to overcome. Hard work. But if you step back and look at it as your job - to overcome it I mean...maybe that would make things a bit easier as far as making and implementing a plan.
Hugs and prayers to you.
thanks. she was lucky to have a nice husband. what about her in laws. anyways i hope i am lucky like that too.
st.johns wort does nothing for me. skullcap does. i think because i have more anxiety and paranoia mixed in with the depression.
Re: depressed girls after marriage
mamaof3....in young ladies medication can be very very usefull and not addictive and not have harmful side effects, but i am saying she needs a medical assessment so that she can have some talking therapy too.
You cant just pull yourself out of it sometimes
I have heard of skullcap yes, if its helping you then great! But i would still say get some professional help.
There are medications for taking during pregnancy and with medical help they can closely monitor you. My patient has had 3 mashallah healthy children!
Does your fiance know about some of your problems? Are you in the uk by any chance?
ALso if you are planning on using the pill as contraception skullcap may stop it from working affectively so consult the doc on that too.
Allso who prescribed prozac to you? did they not explain you have to take it for few weeks before it works?
Also go online and search for onlince CBT or beat the blues it might help!
edit: also moodgym online is pretty good!
you are very caring. thank you alvena.
you are very caring. thank you alvena.
Its ok masoom:)
Anymore questions just ask, most of us here to support you!
Will you think about seeing a health professional?
You are in my prayers.
Re: depressed girls after marriage
Alvena is right, you do not need advice from strangers who are ignorant about your situation. Please try to get help from a medical professional and plenty of support from family members.
And you diagnosed that how exactly?
Do Not go around labelling people.
I am a doctor and I know just by reading your posts.
Re: depressed girls after marriage
alvena - You give out some great advice! :)
I am a doctor and I know just by reading your posts.
sure she sounds like she has some bi polar symptoms...the depressed side, but talk of any manic symtpoms in her first posts so its very hard to say!
also as a doctor im sure you know about sympathy and empathy particularly with patients suffering mental health issues.
You dont just come out and say you have this...bye
Also to make a good working diagnosis, im sure you know that you should take a full history as much information as possible again particularly with mental health patients.
I dont see how you could say bi polar just from one post, when there are so many differentials!
Thanks iggle! :)
Re: depressed girls after marriage
Well it wasnt very funny.
In another thread maybe, but not in this one.