hey there. just wondering if there are any girls that got married here that had depression before getting married and if so after marriage did it get better or worse and how so.
Re: depressed girls after marriage
Usually men get depressed after marriage.
Re: depressed girls after marriage
erm,,why woould they be depressed, due to marriage itself, or other depressing issues.
what i mean is say you are a girl who has a genetic predisposition towards depression. so you already have it before marriage, there is no specific reason it is just a mood disorder you have where you tend to stay more down because it is in your genes. and then say you get married, i wanted to know if it the depression would get better or would it get worse maybe due to normal stresses in the relationship or due to having more responsibility in your life.
what i mean is say you are a girl who has a genetic predisposition towards depression. so you already have it before marriage, there is no specific reason it is just a mood disorder you have where you tend to stay more down because it is in your genes. and then say you get married, i wanted to know if it the depression would get better or would it get worse maybe due to normal stresses in the relationship or due to having more responsibility in your life.
That'd depend on so many external factors - how content you find your life, your partner, your new surroundings, people, etc. etc. If your marriage has more downs than ups, it might get worse and vice versa. Depression is real and you can lessen its effects with super strong will power and positive company. So, happy thoughts!
yes you are right. i was hoping for real life examples though. but i guess no one has any.
Re: depressed girls after marriage
NOPE SORRY. but what i can tell you is that all these ailments are to categorise people into different sections. makes it easier for the docs. dont think about it and you wont have it. life is full of ups and downs. all this new science BS is really annoying. sometimes you feel your fine but then youll get a lil sad, and someone will diagnose you with depression.
which makes the person more dperessed.
we as muslims, know that god has given a test. for us. so that test will not be happy lappy rosey posey all the time. test means hard times. low times. sad times. no one in the world can say they live perfectly happily.
forget the depression diagnostic, expect that life is a challenge and move on...
Re: depressed girls after marriage
NADZ I DON'T think you know this girl enough in order to give her the chin up and get over it type of advice you are dishing.
At the very least, not without applying it to your very personal bollywood home-drama.
If you are inexperienced and ignorant about the manifestations of mental illness then at the very least be nice enough to either refrain from replying or being condescending abt it.
Re: depressed girls after marriage
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yes, you have an excellent point hitchki
Nadz sweetie, this above is EXCELLENT advice for you current ‘‘marry him, not marry him situation’’…perhaps you should look over it..it’ll make u feel better 
Re: depressed girls after marriage
MK it depends upon the circumstances and weight of guy sometimes ;)
NADZ I DON'T think you know this girl enough in order to give her the chin up and get over it type of advice you are dishing.
At the very least, not without applying it to your very personal bollywood home-drama.
If you are inexperienced and ignorant about the manifestations of mental illness then at the very least be nice enough to either refrain from replying or being condescending abt it.
excuse me....what i stated above was true. there are lots of cases where people diagnose you with all sorts, when in fact with a bit of faith hope and prayer youll be fine..im not saying she has nothing to worry for, i was giving her another perspective on how some ailments are treated nowadays.
my personal issue should not be brought up in another thread, if you yourself are inexperienced and fortunate enough not to be in similar situation you should grant yourself lucky. maybe one day god will give you yor own bollywood drama im sure youll enjoy that and i hope theres no one giving you the same advice you give.
dont ever call anyone elses personal issues a bollywood drama i admit i only gave this girl one sided advice, however i didnt say she was being dramabaazi.
and take ur own advice missy, if you got nothing to say, dont post a pathetic irrelevant reply in my posts.
ta very much
no Nadz, as always you were condescending and mean and merely strongly hinted that it was all in her head and that we all have problems and as such she should simply stop complaining and “get over it”. The word dramabaaz was not used explicitly at all…
And so far as your bollywood drama is concerned. I, (as you) - likened the “issue” to a construct, albiet an entertaining rather than medically convinient one. Note that unlike you I didn’t tell you that you imagined it. Or that “nowwa days” there are a dime-a-dozen girls like you with gharelo maslai, largely discussed on zee-tee-vee.
Not that inexperience or fortune has anything to do with common sense..But I’ll keep in mind that making sweeping generalisations about other peoples life and belittling problems is your forte alone and God forbid anyone should address you in your own tone. :k:
ufff zabardast post yaar. has a very good point.
come ladies, lets makeup and get back to the topic and help this girl out.
what i mean is say you are a girl who has a genetic predisposition towards depression. so you already have it before marriage, there is no specific reason it is just a mood disorder you have where you tend to stay more down because it is in your genes. and then say you get married, i wanted to know if it the depression would get better or would it get worse maybe due to normal stresses in the relationship or due to having more responsibility in your life.
From what I've seen from friends, marriage will not cure depression. And if the line of communication between partners becomes weak, depression will destroy the marriage. But there are couple who make it work.
Re: depressed girls after marriage
if ure depressed, ur marriage will most likely make it worse.
Someone feel free to shed light on it---but if you are genetically predisposed to being depressed (clinical depression?) then does it also mean you are generally skeptical, and have a pessimistic view on life? Just wondering.
well what is the reason you are depressed? are you unhappy with your family life, career, body, social life,? it depends on the factor. i think a big thing in being happy is to have control or a sense of responsibility over a part of your life. so if you can adjust any of the unhappy factors, i'm sure that will help with depression. some people do have a genetic tendency, but we can choose to wallow in that feeling or make an active step to improve our lives.
I think you have to make your happiness for yourself, even when you are married, you should have people and activities outside of your hubby to make you happy.
I personally am trying to be at my 'max contentment level' before i get married so I can bring more to the relationship and also be less reliant on my hubby for my emotions.
Re: depressed girls after marriage
^ ur smart
Re: depressed girls after marriage
Nadz, i really really disgaree with what you are saying. Having worked in the psychiatry department of my hospital depression is a very serious and real issue its not some **** the people made up. Unless you have worked in psychology or psychiatry i dont think uyou should give advice.
Masoom, are you on any medication and how much help are you recieving from health services.
How does your mood fluctuate?
With those with some form of clinical depression whether it be mild or severe, there is lots you can do.
Can you just shed some light on what some health professionals have said about what you have?
as general points.
Excercise is a fanatstic way to reduce depression as it increases seretonin and endorphins.
HAve supportive familu and friends aroudn to talk to
Consult your doctor/psychologist to review the medication
Consider some form of CBT or other talking therapies.
SOme of the replies on here have really annoyed me. grrrrrrrrrrr
Re: depressed girls after marriage
^ Alvena always gives great advice.
But, in my opinion (and I admit I don't have much knowledge on this) marriage will not resolve the issue, but is more likely to make you more depressed because marriage usually brings more pressures and stress.