Deleterious effects of love marriage

[dutch_paki]

Re: Deleterious effects of love marriage

/\ Call it whatever you wish, he is right u know ;)

[AnGeL_EyEs]

Re: Deleterious effects of love marriage

@aahmed

What do you call this Ange Eyes, not bashing? Positive argument? It's cheapness.

well...he isnt specifically pointing fingers at anyone in particular.

anyway....ever one is entitled to their own opinion as long as it has to do with the topic on hand.

Frankly, i thought it was a good topic and now we are derailing it!

[Lajawab]

Re: Deleterious effects of love marriage

@dutch_paki

/\ I hope you understand I was just teasing you yar

Stop teasing me…lol

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Deleterious effects of love marriage

you can’t just throw situations into “love marriage” vs. “arranged marriage” categories. There is a whole spectrum, and love marriage and arranged marriage only refer to two points on the spectrum. And if we’re to get even more technical, what an arranged marriage is to you, might be different to me. You can have an arranged marriage where you’ve never spoken to the person before. You can have one where you’ve had minimal discussion and weren’t turned on until after the marriage. You can have one where there was a small spark before the marriage and a big bang afterwards. So on and so forth, and I could come up with a million variations of just the arranged marriage situation.

So, then exactly what mufti are you to decide which of these billion situations works and which doesn’t? There’s more to the equation than whether your parents were involved or not. The biggest factor is the personalities of the two individuals and whether they themselves have what it takes to make a marraige work. And then there are added outside pressures which vary from situation to situation, and then there are circumstantial issues like is there pressure from the job(s) that’s affecting the marriage, etc.

There are plenty of love marriages which fail, and plenty of arranged marriages that fail, and failure is not always evidenced by divorce.

And if you were experienced in human matters, you would know that. Instead you take your example which you feel is currently working for you, and demand that others accept it as the only way that marriage works.

[Lajawab]

Re: Deleterious effects of love marriage

^^

I never asked anyone to accept anything...I just shared what I believed...I am not asking you to believe in it...

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Deleterious effects of love marriage

There is a difference between you saying you believe that so-and-so is the right way and the best way, and you saying that "hey, this method worked for me". The former is perscriptive in nature, and the latter is more subjective in nature.

[Lajawab]

Re: Deleterious effects of love marriage

@PyariCgudia

There is a difference between you saying you believe that so-and-so is the right way and the best way, and you saying that “hey, this method worked for me”. The former is perscriptive in nature, and the latter is more subjective in nature.

The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog…

Is this sentence perscriptive or subjective…

And please explain WTH is perscriptive?

[Impulse]

Re: Deleterious effects of love marriage

@Mamaof3

You must be young and single my friend.....or at the least, inexperienced in these matters with rose-colored glasses on for the way you think things OUGHT to be. I hope you find what you want. But you seem a bit misguided here.

I am the lucky wife in a love marriage. Our love has done nothing but grow since we married. There was the spark and all that prior to marriage. After we married, we faced and overcame infertility, discovered the joys and the stresses of parenthood, supported each other in times of crisis, laughed together at life in general. In short, our love has grown. The spark has changed but is always there.

Dont kid yourself into thinking that the only way to true love is to marry a stranger. That serves to keep things more interesting only for 6 months to a year and then the playing field is even. And in a marriage where your mate is a stranger, you're more likely to be met with unpleasant surprises after the "get-to-know-you" period is over.

Theres good and bad to both ways of marriage here, dont get me wrong. But lets stick to reality here.

I totally agree with your response. you have experience of a love marriage and therefore are in a better position to tell us your experience.

the person who started the thread doesnt even seem to be married...how then can he/she comment on which is better? like they say...its like getting directions from a blind person

[Impulse]

Re: Deleterious effects of love marriage

@Lajawab

MO3

Don't you wish you had married that cool guy you met in college when you were 23? He was educated, kind and decent...

How about the one you met when you were 24? He was exciting, fast and was a great kisser...

Or how about the one you met when you were 25?

How about your husband? Did he like someone before he met you? Loved her, cherished her, desired her with all his heart...Before he met you...

Lajawab...the same can apply to a person who has had 3/4 arranged marriages.....and got so many divorces cuz they found out later on they cant get on with the person....or cant love them. so in that case...it'd be divorces....and memories of the past marriage....which would involve a physical relationship too.

[Impulse]

Re: Deleterious effects of love marriage

@aahmed

Dude, why do you have to insult everyone who doesn’t agree with you? It’s so cheap. Where in my post did I mention sex? Why is it that your mind automatically assumes that dating=sex? Do you EVER have an emotion that originates above the waist? I’ve had enough of you and your cheap arguments to promote your agenda whatever it may be.

You are a child, you obviously argue like a child, leaving out that little thing called reason. Why not just let people be happy? Why sit here and tell MO3 that she was wrong or try to insult her? Let her be happy and you can be happy doing whatever you want to do. Nobody is FORCING you to engage in a love marriage.

Grow up.

very well said :k:

[SolarOceans]

Re: Deleterious effects of love marriage

LMAO. This thread is great.

Funny how ppl seem to know in such detail what other people's marriages are like.

[Mamaof3]

Re: Deleterious effects of love marriage

No one can or SHOULD know what the marriages of others are like, you're right. Be concerned with only yourself and let others do what they will...."live and LET live" as they say.

Arranged marriage, love marriage, the success or failure of either way depends upon the specific people involved in their own personal (private!) lives.

Worry about yourselves, people! Let others take care of themselves and work out on their own what is best for THEM.

[Fayz]

Re: Deleterious effects of love marriage

@Mamaof3

No one can or SHOULD know what the marriages of others are like, you're right. Be concerned with only yourself and let others do what they will...."live and LET live" as they say. .

You are asking too much :-)
Lajjo, dur fitay mooN tera..another hate thread. :-D

[AnGeL_EyEs]

Re: Deleterious effects of love marriage

i find it interesting how no one said anything to the thread starter of “Deleterious Effects of Arranged Marriages” yet so many people have things to say about Lajawab’s thread.

[dutch_paki]

Re: Deleterious effects of love marriage

what do you find so interesting ?

But if you scroll back and read comments, you can read what I wrote and/or what PCG wrote
So basically both the threads are ludacriss

[AnGeL_EyEs]

Re: Deleterious effects of love marriage

i think both sides can sit and argue all they want about which is better and which is not. In the end, both can work out (or not) if the couple is willing (or unwilling).

i think i repeated this many times (sorry)

[dutch_paki]

Re: Deleterious effects of love marriage

/\ :D no worries :D

[aahmed]

Re: Deleterious effects of love marriage

@AnGeL EyEs

i find it interesting how no one said anything to the thread starter of “Deleterious Effects of Arranged Marriages” yet so many people have things to say about Lajawab’s thread.

Since when have you started fighting lajjo’s battles?

[AnGeL_EyEs]

Re: Deleterious effects of love marriage

@aahmed

Since when have you started fighting lajjo's battles?

im not...i just see people attacking him for stating his personal opinions...i would have posted the same thing for anyone else.

[AQ]

Re: Deleterious effects of love marriage

Love or Arranged… things are over rated..

It’s human beings that make the difference…

It’s all in the heart… Sometimes, people love us in their own ways and not the way we expect them to love us.. perhaps, true otherwise too…

Everything is overrated in this life… What remains at the end is the faith in Allah:swt: … He always has better plan for us… People fail in arranged and love marriages because they take Allah away from their lives…

It’s time to move on guys…