Delaying having kids after marriage for few years?

rizla86 · March 18, 2011, 5:35pm

Re: Delaying having kids after marriage for few years?

They were practiced during the Prophet pbuh’s time and they were not prohibited:

The common method of contraception at the time of the Prophet (peace be on him) was *coitus interruptus, *or withdrawal of the penis from the vagina just before ejaculation, thus preventing the entrance of semen. The Companions of the Prophet (peace be on him) engaged in this practice during the period the Qur’an was being revealed to him. Narrated Jabir, We practiced *coitus interruptus *during the time of the Messenger of Allah (peace be on him) while the Qur’an was being revealed.(Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim )

In a version transmitted by Muslim, he said, **We practiced coitus interruptus during the time of the Messenger of Allah (peace be on him). He came to know about it, but he did not prohibit it.
A man came to the Prophet (peace be on him), saying, “I have a slave girl. I desire what men desire, but I do not want her to become pregnant, so I practice *coitus interruptus *with her. The Jews say that this is a minor form of burying your children alive”. The Prophet (peace be on him) said, “The Jews are wrong. If Allah wishes to create a child, you cannot prevent it,”(Reported by Abu Daoud, Ibn Majah; al-Nisai, and al-Tirmidhi.) meaning that despite the employment of *coitus interruptus, *a drop of semen might have been deposited in the vagina without his awareness, resulting in conception.

In a gathering at which 'Umar was present, someone remarked, “Some say that *coitus interruptus *is a minor form of burying a child alive.” 'All then said, “This is not so before the completion of seven stages: being a product of the earth, then a drop of semen, then a clot, then a little lump of tissue, then bones, then bones clothed with flesh, which then become like another creation.” (Ali was paraphrasing the Qur’an 23:12-14, considering the creation of Adam from wet earth as the first stage of development of every human foetus. (Trans.)) “You are right,” said 'Umar. “May Allah prolong your life.”

The verse in Quran speaks about not killing your children for fear of poverty. It does not talk about preventing them being conceived.

As for the OP, I completely believe in waiting a few years before having kids. Marriage is in itself a huge responsibility, there is no point in diving into parenthood after just nine months when you’re not even ready for it. Although my mum’s expectations do freak me out sometimes, only today she was telling me how she can’t wait for me to get married so we can little grandkids running around.