Delaying having kids after marriage for few years?

[PakWoman]

Re: Delaying having kids after marriage for few years?

@Murgi

Umm, you brought in religion. I didn’t. Therefore I had to reply to you and bring in religion.

Now if you are going to quote me an ayah, please re-read what you said. It said…do not kill your CHILDREN. not SEMEN or OVUM. People did, and do commit murder because of poverty. Pakistan is full of such examples. Every day you hear of a father who because of lack of money resorted to killing his children and himself because he was unable to provide for them. Now, if that same person had decided to avoid a pregnancy, do you really think Allah would punish him the same way as taking a human life? I honestly think God is beyond such things. Common sense bhi koi cheez hoti hai, and reading deeper into something is IMO just asinine. Again, let me reiterate…semen + ovum ≠ embryo/fetus/baby/child/adult.

You didn’t dispute the fact that even the Prophet himself supported natural and rhythm method. Are you saying that even that is forbidden? As for contraceptives believe me, it’s accepted in our religion. It’s completely asinine to say that it’s forbidden. Regarding side effects of other methods, well, paracetamol/tylenol/aspirin gives you stomach ulcers, stop using them. Everything has side effects, and not everyone is using copper IUDs.

As for children equals a stronger marriage, there are just SO many examples, on GS, IRL, where children does not make a marraige stronger. If it is meant to be doomed, it will be doomed. Children only make things complicated, it will not make it stronger. So please, get over the delusion that it will makes things better.

What a woman goes through during pregnancy, if she is a normally mild and an easy going person, during pregnancy she might become irritable and annoying. And this is the impression that the husband and his family will live with for the rest of her life. How is that good then? Knowing that for the rest of her life, her husband thinks that she is nag because the first year of their married life that is who she was because of no fault of her own.

Yes i did bring in religion but not to use it to make fun of others, or to poke fun at molvis.
You are completely turning the point of argument here. I said I wouldn’t choose to opt for such methods due to the religious belief - that such methods should be opted for only when you think you have a valid reason. And there is a huge difference between killing a child and delaying a child.
Yes such cases are there in Pakistan. Yet again, the belief still holds, that we die when Allah wants and how he wants us to after the pre-ordained rizq has been consumed. How those people will be dealt is b/w Allah and them.
So than does the verse contradict with real life today? Is that what you’re saying? Than what does this verse mean applied today according to your deeper understanding?
I never said all contraceptive methods are haram… most are, which involve killing. I am not aware that natural family planning methods were recommended by the Prophet (pbuh). Please quote a source if this is true. However I am aware that Allah has made a natural way for spacing b/w children through lactation amenorrhea.

And there are so many examples around me where children did make a relationship stronger. So to generalize that it never happens and make that a hard and fast rule for everyone to follow would also be wrong.
Again you have based this on an assumption that if a woman immediately gets pregnant, her in-laws and husband would get irritated. I have seen cases around me where such women are given extra care and importance in such situations by their husbands and in-laws.