Delaying having kids after marriage for few years?

[Khumar]

Re: Delaying having kids after marriage for few years?

@PakWoman

Please save the religion-bashing lecture. Well then I am sorry, I will have to spew that verse at you again. And it’s not a tasbeeh… it’s the word of Allah quite relevant in context to the topic being discussed. If Allah has ordained that a soul will not get his due rizq, then you can do all the planning you want and nothing will change that, vice versa.

***“And kill not your children for fear of poverty. We shall provide for them as well as for you. Surely, the killing of them is a great sin” ***(al-Isra 31)

As far as the permanent methods are concerned, all scholars agree that those are haram… the physiology of the body should not be changed (except if it is a life-threatening situation for the mother).
And concerning temporary methods, there is a division since some Islamic scholars even consider most of these as haram since contraception methods like copper t are also a form of a very early abortion.
The one’s who say it’s allowed, also add that there should be a valid reason for opting for such methods.

So for me, delaying children to see if the marriage works out or not does not seem like a valid reason. What guarantee do I have that when I do have kids, the marriage wont break down after that…

Umm, you brought in religion. I didn’t. Therefore I had to reply to you and bring in religion.

Now if you are going to quote me an ayah, please re-read what you said. It said…do not kill your CHILDREN. not SEMEN or OVUM. People did, and do commit murder because of poverty. Pakistan is full of such examples. Every day you hear of a father who because of lack of money resorted to killing his children and himself because he was unable to provide for them. Now, if that same person had decided to avoid a pregnancy, do you really think Allah would punish him the same way as taking a human life? I honestly think God is beyond such things. Common sense bhi koi cheez hoti hai, and reading deeper into something is IMO just asinine. Again, let me reiterate…semen + ovum ≠ embryo/fetus/baby/child/adult.

You didn’t dispute the fact that even the Prophet himself supported natural and rhythm method. Are you saying that even that is forbidden? As for contraceptives believe me, it’s accepted in our religion. It’s completely asinine to say that it’s forbidden. Regarding side effects of other methods, well, paracetamol/tylenol/aspirin gives you stomach ulcers, stop using them. Everything has side effects, and not everyone is using copper IUDs.

As for children equals a stronger marriage, there are just SO many examples, on GS, IRL, where children does not make a marraige stronger. If it is meant to be doomed, it will be doomed. Children only make things complicated, it will not make it stronger. So please, get over the delusion that it will makes things better.

What a woman goes through during pregnancy, if she is a normally mild and an easy going person, during pregnancy she might become irritable and annoying. And this is the impression that the husband and his family will live with for the rest of her life. How is that good then? Knowing that for the rest of her life, her husband thinks that she is nag because the first year of their married life that is who she was because of no fault of her own.