Re: Deen ya Duniya? Ya both?
I guess she is going a little overboard but you cant question her intents.
I know some VERY WELL OFF goras who have decided to home-school their kids due to the school environment. I mentioned WELL OFF because they can afford the private school very easily.
Re: Deen ya Duniya? Ya both?
why are they here then?
why are they here then?
most probably to provide better, safe and secure life to their coming generation. Does that really matter?
I was at a get together at my friend's house last night. A high school friend of ours was also there. She is very religious: hijabi, niqabi, husband is in Tablighi Jamaat, etc.
We were discussing children and education I believe when she spoke up about the way she raises her kids ( I guess she gets attacked a lot for it and felt like she had to defend herself).
Her children are not in school, she has 2 girls. I believe one is 5 and the other 3. She says she will not send them to school because she is scared of our Western culture. She will do whatever she can to protect her children and according to her school is a breeding ground for disasters. She is home schooling but does not really follow the program given. Her girls dont know or keep up with the schooling for their age. According to her, the first 7 years of a child's life are for play, the next 7 are for education and I cant remember what the last 7 are good for. She plans on marrying her girls off at 14 and doesnt care if they starve as long as they have Deeni Talim.
Thoughts?
My impression is that a lot of what she's saying is just hyperbole. One girl is 5 and the other is 3 and they're not following the given program? Like what? In Canada we start school at 5 years of age, where we go to kindergarten.
Anyhow, my thoughts on this are good luck to her and may everything work out well for her and her family inshAllah.
Bit weird but I have heard that are some desi Muslims in the UK who get their kids nikahs done under 16 so that any ‘stuff’ they get upto with their ‘husband’/‘wife’ is halal then when they’re old enough they have their official wedding.. Obviously has no legal recognition tho.. Pretty common amongst gypsies as well apparently.. A very sick and extreme case of underage marriage being encouraged by desi families, the boy’s parents and the girl’s dad gave the go-ahead for him to marry and have sex with his 12yr-old cousin but her mum went to the police when she found out 
Father jailed for encouraging his teenage son to rape and marry his cousin, 12 | Mail Online
Reha, I met someone very much like that as well. She herself got married at 16 and plans to do the same to her 2 daughters.
She is very confident and happy with her decision. She loves her husband and totally serves him without hesitation or any regrets. She is a simple and happy young lady. In turn, her husband treats her with respect and gives her all her rights Islamically and they make an awesome couple.
I was a bit worried listening to her plans but you know what, if she's happy, who am I?
Now why they are in USA and not in an Islamic country...well to that she said that they need to spread the message of Islam. They are both active in the community and the masjid, and her husband is in tabligh, they invite scholars from around the country and host them...etc etc...
thanx 4 the sharing ............
yeah if she is happy and conformatable there is no harm in it.
Re: Deen ya Duniya? Ya both?
Im just concerned as to what guy (cz i doubt he'll be a 16-year-old) will marry a 14 year old girl. EW.
Re: Deen ya Duniya? Ya both?
**They can’t send their kids to school because they don’t want them to be westernized, but yet they still sit here and take our jobs and enjoy all the freedom that the west has to offer 
I don’t appreciate such people taking up my air.
This reminds me of this lady who’s been living in the US for like 20 years, but she says she will never become a citizen because she hates Americans.
GO BACK HOME to your countires!!! **
Speaking of this
All the westerners working in lets say India and Pakistan should start sending their kids to Madarsas …start wearing turbans if they are in Peshawer and dhoti if they are in Jalinder right? After all they are there coz they are earning better (for example as head of multi national companies)?
Hating America is taking it overboard but If i dont want my kids to go to lets say porm or If I dont want to go to office Christmas night party, no one should have any problem with that.
Living somewhere to get better living does not mandate to follow every norm of that society.
When was the last time you heard, I don't want my kids to become "easternized???"
Never, because, its not even a word!
I understand, that just because you move to a foreign country , you don't have to follow all norms in life. HOWEVER, you also can't say i don't want my kids to become westernized. I mean if its that much of an issue don't bring them here, and if you're gonna bring them lock them and yourself up so you don't have to eat western food, don't have to see western people, etc.
And only desi's do this crap.
As i said before when i do move to pak, I'm not gonna say " Oh i don't want my kids to be easternized." That's just BS!!
One more thing! If you face a challenge in life, you don't just hide away and wait for the problem to go away. You face it head on. In this case you teach your children, that its wrong to dress this way or to eat pork or whatever else. You don't just say that the "westerns are all wrong" and we're right!!
If you can maintain a balance, then deen and dunya both
As for your friend, she is doing what she thinks is best. It is highly unlikely she will let her children starve regardless of whether she wants them to be married or not. It is just a priority for her. As her children grow up, she might find it harder to part from them.
Maybe she is saying these things for the shock element/attention?
Star, for the sake of those children, I hope you're right about the shock element.
We were talking about education and our kids and she went off at everyone there. I felt sorry for her because its got to be hard to keep defending your way of life in front of people ALL the time.
However, handicapping your children where they are not able to take part in normal everyday activities like socializing with other kids, reading, writing, etc...is cruel. I find this cruel to put your kids in a situation where they dont know what to do with themselves because they have not been taught BASIC life skills.
I guess she is going a little overboard but you cant question her intents.
I know some VERY WELL OFF goras who have decided to home-school their kids due to the school environment. I mentioned WELL OFF because they can afford the private school very easily.
Decent, thats the difference here. Your friends are actually home-schooling their kids and following the state guidelines for it. This girl has them labeled as home-schooled but doenst really focus on any curriculum or program of study. Her children dont know their letters or numbers and its perfectly okay! According to her the first 7 years are for play so let them play.
My impression is that a lot of what she's saying is just hyperbole. One girl is 5 and the other is 3 and they're not following the given program? Like what? In Canada we start school at 5 years of age, where we go to kindergarten.
Anyhow, my thoughts on this are good luck to her and may everything work out well for her and her family inshAllah.
Her eldest is either 5 or 6. My niece is 3 and knows her letters, numbers and now we're tackling reading. The goal is to have her reading fluently before kindergarten. My problem here is that my friend doesnt care about any sort of academic education. She doesnt think its important educate her daughters. "Why do they need education? They're not going to work." This woman was born and bred in the States...
Im just concerned as to what guy (cz i doubt he'll be a 16-year-old) will marry a 14 year old girl. EW.
YAH! I almost asked her exactly where and how she plans on getting her daughter married?
I have a HUGE problem with people who hate the US but are living here anyway. I have an even BIGGER problem with people who find it useless to educate their girls because its not like they're going to work or anything.
Re: Deen ya Duniya? Ya both?
Knock some sense into your friend, she needs it.
Re: Deen ya Duniya? Ya both?
Orphy, the lady I talked about...well I told her that educating her daughters will help them whether they choose to work or not...but she kept saying that this duniya is temporary and our ultimate goal is jannah, so why expose these girls to greater opportunty for collecting bad deeds, that if their life's efforts are concentrated in a little circle, they will have less room for living a life of sin.
... Decent, thats the difference here. Your friends are actually home-schooling their kids and following the state guidelines for it. This girl has them labeled as home-schooled but doenst really focus on any curriculum or program of study. Her children dont know their letters or numbers and its perfectly okay! According to her the first 7 years are for play so let them play. ...
ok thats totally wrong in fact its zulm on those kids....
Re: Deen ya Duniya? Ya both?
There is nothing wrong with home schooling. It requires more work and dedication on the part of the parents. But this woman isn't even doing that. Sad.
Her eldest is either 5 or 6. My niece is 3 and knows her letters, numbers and now we're tackling reading. The goal is to have her reading fluently before kindergarten. My problem here is that my friend doesnt care about any sort of academic education. She doesnt think its important educate her daughters. "Why do they need education? They're not going to work." This woman was born and bred in the States...
Ok so that changes everything. It doesn't even seem like a deen/duniya issue to me anymore. I don't think it's a problem if she wants to avoid exposing them to a school environment. Where does she get the idea that not teaching them to read/count etc. is going to keep them on deen anyway (or that teaching them those things will take them away from it)?
Re: Deen ya Duniya? Ya both?
My question is what does this have to do with religion?
I was at a get together at my friend's house last night. A high school friend of ours was also there. She is very religious: hijabi, niqabi, husband is in Tablighi Jamaat, etc.
We were discussing children and education I believe when she spoke up about the way she raises her kids ( I guess she gets attacked a lot for it and felt like she had to defend herself).
Her children are not in school, she has 2 girls. I believe one is 5 and the other 3. She says she will not send them to school because she is scared of our Western culture. She will do whatever she can to protect her children and according to her school is a breeding ground for disasters. She is home schooling but does not really follow the program given. Her girls dont know or keep up with the schooling for their age. According to her, the first 7 years of a child's life are for play, the next 7 are for education and I cant remember what the last 7 are good for. She plans on marrying her girls off at 14 and doesnt care if they starve as long as they have Deeni Talim.
Thoughts?
deen is for dunyea.
She is only harming her kids.
ppl who see deen and dunnya as different things are missing the whole point of deen.
my child...
Re: Deen ya Duniya? Ya both?
It has to do with religion, because the mother is passing this child abuse off as part of Islam. Which it's not.
So, I'm not going to reiterate what others have written here, because obviously, these are the kinds of issues that make me absolutely angry about some of these tableeghi-type characters.
Can you report this to DCF (Dept of Children and Families)? Reason being, she is legally bound to educate her children up until the age of 16, beyond which her kids can opt out of schooling by their OWN choice (not held back against their will).
If she is not following the curriculum at home, maybe it could be pushed as a case of child neglect? I don't work enough with the DCF to know details. But at least if they have one call being made to the DCF and one investigation on record even if nothing comes of it, they will already be on government radar. That will perhaps get this family to straighten out and follow the law to educate the kids.
OR in the event that she and her husband are up to illegal activity, they already have one solid complaint against them for breaking education laws. I'm pretty sure it is illegal to say you're "home-schooling', and then not even bothering to follow curriculum. Do these kids have to give exams that need to be registered in the state to ensure the curriculum is being followed?
What she's doing, should be illegal, if it isn't already.
My question is what does this have to do with religion?
good question. is she giving them deeni taleem at home and thats her reason for not introducing the school curriculum till age 7? if her emphasis is on Islamic/Quranic teachings than the academic syllabus right now, than her argument might make sense, otherwise the whole deen or duniya argument doesn't stand if she is just allowing them free playtime till age 7. religion's got nothing to do with it, just a convenient excuse.