After the birth of child, usualy the wife becomes more busy and the intimate relationship between husband and wife starts fading. Thus married life becomes less exciting, specially in our society.
How can one maintain the level of intimacy after some year into marraige.
Sheesh you people.How about this : we let the men have the babies.Then we'll see how it goes.
Re: Decline of intimacy...
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Code_Red: *
How can one maintain the level of intimacy after some year into marraige.
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Are you saying married people are not supposed to get bored of each other?
You mean
Let men Conceive babies..
Par kithooon :rotato:
Shouldnt you be taking care of the wife right after she has a baby ?Instead of demanding “intimacy.”:o
Re: Re: Decline of intimacy...
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*Originally posted by Fayz: *
Are you saying married people are not supposed to get bored of each other?
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Couple can be interested in each other like they were in early years of marraige.
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*Originally posted by Muslim_Queen: *
Shouldnt you be taking care of the wife right after she has a baby ?Instead of demanding "intimacy.":o
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yes sensitivity demands that . but then again we are talking men here :D
Re: Re: Re: Decline of intimacy...
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*Originally posted by Code_Red: *
Couple can be interested in each other like they were in early years of marraige.
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I find this statement quite unrealistic. :-) Most relationships are like a sine curve...they go up and down. It is quite normal to feel bored of your spouse but that doesn't mean that you take drastic measures or get worried about it.
^
Ok not drastic but gentle may be…
MQ - It is some time later… means a year or so 
And ofcource I can take care of her all the time. 
but she will get more occupied 
Birth of a child has nothing to do with this loss of intimacy. If it's a time issue..and you're both too busy to have alone time, then make time. Find ways to put aside things that aren't really urgent and make time. First get your kids on a routine and schedule. So if they go to bed by 8pm then you two can relax in the evening. Intimacy is not just about getting 'action', but about all the little things. Your wife may give you a back rub and you may do some dishes for her while she feeds the baby. It's all those little things that stoke the fire. It's especially important for a woman to know that her husband acknowledges her importance.
SAIMA :-
I agree more than 100% wih you. I take it, you are married also :)
I think by intimacy he refers to relationship that may not be sexual but phychological.. life always changes and in marriage too there is always a change - every stage has its own challenges.. birth of a child propells the relationship to a new horizon.. intimacy should naturally increase.. though it should be kept in mind how a new member will naturally takes mothers time.. its really educating how mothers take this resposibility efforlessly.. i remeber I wrote the following thread 2 months after my babies birth…
http://www.gupistan.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=108475
That will be hard on her doing all this at same time. 
After all she can give me back rub after i am finished with dishes and she has fed the baby …
(j/k)
Sure these things will help alot in going through the busy period of life.And if time and resposibilities are managed properly by both parties it will be great.
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*Originally posted by Diva4U: *
SAIMA :-
I agree more than 100% wih you. I take it, you are married also :)
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Yes, almost 5 years.
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*Originally posted by saimanyc: *
Birth of a child has nothing to do with this loss of intimacy. If it's a time issue..and you're both too busy to have alone time, then make time. Find ways to put aside things that aren't really urgent and make time. First get your kids on a routine and schedule.
[/QUOTE]
This reminds me of typical desi nuskha
training kids to go neighbours for few hours.
Re: Decline of intimacy…
As I was going to open a new thread on the same topic, thought why not continue here …
I am reading this article, and these complexities are explained nicely here
http://www.socialpages.com.pk/108/speaker.asp
another aspect of the whole intimacy issue that after some years into marriage women prefer house work over love making 
→ http://www.paklinks.com/gs/showthread.php?t=159986
Men also play their role in this decline…
Now the bigger question.
What is the secret of long lasting intimacy ?
Re: Decline of intimacy…
He isn’t demanding intimacy, hes simply asking how to maintain it. Intimacy is very important in keeping the couple close together both physically and psychologically. And that applies moreso for the wife who needs all the love and support after birth. Post-natal depression is no joke. Women sometimes feel they’re no longer the ‘lover’ but now a mother who has to change diapers, feed and clothe the child all the time.
That shouldn’t be the case. A wife wants to keep feeling beautiful and loved after having a child as she was before, by her husband staying intimate with her. And the definition of intimacy isn’t just ‘sex’ in case some jump on the bandwagon. If a husband thinks it is, then he needs his head checked.
To answer Code Red’s question I believe the onus is on the husband to support and make his wife feel loved as much as before. If not, moreso! Always put her first. That way the wife can feel excited and loved as was the previously.
Re: Decline of intimacy…
^ spot on Tiger :k:
I found the article very interesting, the writer very rightly analysed different aspects of this decline …
The intimacy should remain at a healthy level even after many years of marriage and both husband and wife can keep it up ..
Here is more from article “points where wife and husband should re-consider their behaviour”
quote–
How does one keep that spark alive after years of living together? Like many of the other questions that make relationships complicated, this too has no one answer. There’s the fact that one or both partners let themselves go in terms of their physical appearance. They do not see the need to make an effort to appear attractive to each other once they are married. Take the case of peacocks. The male (when he wants to attract a mate), opens out his tail of beautiful feathers to do a dance that is supposed to attract the peahen. He dazzles her with his beautiful colors (for your information, the female does not have them), prancing around to catch her fancy. Just like them, while we court each other, humans too, can be said to perform a sort of dance. They dress up, are attentive, shower each other with compliments, gifts and promises of undying love. Once both have been ensnared in what is known as a ‘serious relationship’, or worst ‘marriage’, the mating dance makes its bow.
The husband comes home after work, the house smells of oil, garlic and spices; dinner having just been cooked. And then lo and behold, his wife emerges from the kitchen, sweaty, dirty and smelling of the meal she has just prepared. Who would want to hug that? On the other hand, when the time comes to go out, she transforms herself; primps and pretties, dousing herself in perfume. If her husband is lucky, he gets to sit across the room from her and watch as others admire his wife. All this while, she fails to make an effort for the one person in her life who really counts. The one person who needs to find her attractive and alluring. Do women feel that they themselves do not deserve to look good everyday or that their husbands don’t deserve to see them that way? It is not a luxury; it is in fact, a necessity.
Unfortunately, its not only the women at fault here. One of the second most common problems is that men stop appreciating their wives. Why flatter her now? A woman constantly needs to be appreciated and acknowledged. Actually, most people need that affirmation in some form or the other. She needs to know that she is still beautiful and special. Complimenting her cooking will never get old. Paying attention to details will just show that you are taking an interest in her. There are so many little things that actually do make a difference and can make or break a relationship but unfortunately, most of us don’t take seriously enough. We all hear about how one should surprise the woman by things like bringing her flowers without an occasion. Having seen it done and how it works, I have to tell you, whoever said that knew what they were talking about. Infidelity by men is very rarely to fill an emotional void. For women, its been found however, that majority of them cheat on their partners because they are looking for that emotional affirmation that is lacking in their relationship. In the case of being a mistress, though sex may be involved, what she is really looking for and gets is that feeling of being wanted and desired.
–unquote
Re: Decline of intimacy…
yaar kuch khuda ka kauf kar.. intimacy should increase once u have a baby.. coz now you both have something that is a gift from Allah.. your love for each other should increase.. don’t just get married for sex coz that aint gonna happen everyday… marry for love, coz that does happen every second!
