just wondering, the husband or the wife mostly?
a general question for the happily married couples
Re: Decisions , who makes them....
I would think both make them as thats the point of being married by valuing each others' opinion?
Re: Decisions , who makes them…
Both my parents. If one of them doesn’t approve of something, it doesn’t go ahead.
Which sucks for kids - you gotta convince them both before you’re allowed to do something. 
Re: Decisions , who makes them....
Or sometimes kids...'lobby' one parent and make it for them :D
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don’t know whether that happens with most desi couples…both deciding might not happen the more conservative the couple…?
i wonder if the husband even consults the wife or just says this is where we’ll live or this is where we’ll spend our vacation or does who decides depend on the issue
Re: Decisions , who makes them…
Getting worrierd are we, just make youre husband reads this thread and you’ll be fine 
And I am sure husbands conult their wives, men aren’t that cold-hearted you know!
Re: Decisions , who makes them....
if husband's dont consult....the wife have some other 'indirect' method of getting what they wish...
Re: Decisions , who makes them....
if husband's dont consult....the wife have some other 'indirect' method of getting what they wish...
Sadly this is true. You women can always resort to this to get what you want so stop whining about inequalities because you're born with the ultimate leverage lol
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LOL Nomi knows family politics
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Well if most women weren't put down and insulted by men AND women for being direct or honest, they wouldn't have to resort to being sly and using indirect methods.
Re: Decisions , who makes them....
I think most decisions are based on mutual consultation and agreement.
But we have to remember that ultimately in any relationship one person REMAINS dominant in the long run, no matter how much love, peace, understanding, and equality is touted ... be it husband or wife.
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Now this is the first indirect method…playing the ‘victim’ and using tears to emotionally blackmail… 
Just kidding…
Re: Decisions , who makes them....
[QUOTE]
Abstract:
This study examined the impact of imbalanced resources on power strategy use and marital satisfaction. Overall, the results supported the hypothesis that people who see themselves as Equal Partners are more satisfied with their relationship than Traditional Partners. The results also indicated that Equal Partners reported using fewer strategies overall in trying to get their way. Thus, the greater use of power strategies may be associated with being in an imbalanced resource relationship, such as a traditional marriage. Furthermore, the results of this study supported the expectation that marital dissatisfaction is associated with the use of indirect strategies. Although husbands and wives overall were not found to differ in their power strategy use, there was a suggestion that traditional wives used more power strategies, regardless of type, than traditional husbands.
Relationships between marital satisfaction, resources, and power strategies
By: Yukie Aida and Toni Falbo
SEX ROLES
Volume 24, Numbers 1-2, 43-56
[/QUOTE]
For those who think that life without power imbalance is not possible. There were at least some couples there who saw themselves as equals and their relationship quality was better. But if you like being the traditional couple, and by that I mean, you ACTUALLY like being that way, more power to you!
Re: Decisions , who makes them…
Thats what we do too, If Ilike and hubby doesn’t like it cannot be done and if he likes and I don’t like it it cannot happen, things happen when we come to mutual understanding. Like when we were buying house we rejected lot of houses and then came to mutual agreement.
Re: Decisions , who makes them....
I think there will always be one person in a couple that seems more outspoken or dominating...but the keyword here is "seems".
Largely, the person who you might think is dominating or controlling, really isnt. They just have a more apparent personality than their partner. Added to that, the one that runs the show knows their partner's likes and dislikes very well. Most of the time, decisions they make will be ones where their partner has also been thought of and considered.
In my house, my mom is more outspoken/talkative/social and my dad quieter. People assume she wears the pants but its actually quite the opposite behind the scenes and hilarious when people find out.
It doesnt matter who makes the decisions as long as the person carrying it out has been considerate of their partner.
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^it's an art convincing someone else of seeing your side of something and for them to actually take it into consideration, how exactly does your dad almost always convince your mom to go his way with regards to whatever issue? does it work with inflexible people too?
Getting worrierd are we, just make youre husband reads this thread and you'll be fine :D
And I am sure husbands consult their wives, men aren't that cold-hearted you know!
don't know whether that holds true for all men. not saying men are cold hearted but all of us grow up with different ways of thinking on a particular issue. is it easier for woman to convince/change a man's thinking?
Re: Decisions , who makes them....
just wondering, the husband or the wife mostly? a general question for the happily married couples
Well I make the money decisions, cause that's my profession. My wife doesn't really know anything about dividend tax credits, or capital gains exemptions.
She decides all the other stuff like decorations or what not.
Re: Decisions , who makes them....
Well I make the money decisions, cause that's my profession. My wife doesn't really know anything about dividend tax credits, or capital gains exemptions.
She decides all the other stuff like decorations or what not.
and you're fine with whatever decision she makes on "all the other stuff", no objections from your end? honestly didn't expect that answer from you
:-D
btw, when you say money decisions, are the two things you mentioned the only issues when it comes to money that you solely decide on or does it include more?
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and you're fine with whatever decision she makes on "all the other stuff", no objections from your end? honestly didn't expect that answer from you :-D
Well I'm glad I exceeded your expectations :)
No really, what decisions? What color the shower curtains are? Where to put the coach? What kind of furniture? What to get from the grocery store? Honestly I don't care.
When I get home from work , I am so exhausted all I want is a shower, a warm meal, and to fall asleep in her arms, I'm glad she can handle all the "other" stuff I have no interest in.
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^ok what about some of the major decisions like where you live or where you go for vacations, what you do on special occasions (christmas/thanksgiving/Eid/all others), when should you have kids if you do want to have them in the first place, things like that.....you know the big ones. does she have a say or is it a mutual decision made by both.