i hear this term thrown around alot and i’m really starting to wonder what it truly means. what makes for a decent background of a family or person? Does it mean that they are well off financially? or the parents still live together? the children still live with their parents, that they are “religious”?
or is a “decent bacground”, like attraction and wealth, “relative”?
Re: Decent background
Wealth doesn't make someone decent though decent people are usually wealthy. It's more to do with a person's morals and manners.
Re: Decent background
I would class an educated , religious and simple family as decent 
But I am confused about the way others percieve “decent family” as well … Sara has raised a very valid question indeed …
Re: Decent background
I think decent family background is more like a well rounded one i.e. your family is decently educated, cultured, religious and educated.
Re: Decent background
i would consider a family decent if there are no past major incidents or maybe an educated family overall :k:
Re: Decent background
It depends on the individual perception of 'decent'
Everybody has different limits.
Re: Decent background
My husband lost his parents at an early age. He drinks alcohol in moderation. He has been known to eat bacon. And he has had relationships prior to marriage. He would never lie about this to anyone who asks. Therefore...
He was condemned by Pakistani society and the families of gals who were "looking".
LUCKY me!!!
I have the very best husband and father on the planet!!! :)
wow, mama aap kee koi behen hai jo aap kee tarha sochtee hai?? 
Re: Decent background
Kaun saab, Im sorry I dont understand...I am still pathetically linguistically handicapped and dont understand much urdu at all...please translate!
translating …
do you have a sister that has a similar mindset and is as accepting as you 
thats all i asked
but that was a joke
Re: Decent background
the definition varies from one parent's history to other parents history.
when there is no love between parents they considered it the most important thing while getting their children marrying. and they would like their children to develop understanding before getting marrying. if there was once a love present among parents, but lack of money created disturbance in their relationship, they will have different definition of decent rishta. if the parents are in late 50z and they realize that they wasted their entire life in nonsense crap and discover a new world through Quran n Sunnah, they will have a different definition of decent, and would likely consider someone whose "Ikhlaq" is good and seems loyal to his/her religion
as far as guy and girls definition is concerned...well its has zero value...since "Wo abhi bachay hain". and in our culture whether its a love marriage or arrange, until parents aint approving it, its considered as "Bhaag k shadi"
Re: Decent background
decent background could be interpreted in very indecent ways but I think you are talking about family history here. I guess a decent family would be one who doesn't lie, cheat, steal or do fraud for a livelihood. Also, they don't live in a nudist colony.
Decent background = a family who has a good standing socially - ie parents, grandparents etc have a good repuation in the community...ie...honest and devoid of any scandals or accusations etc.
It would probably count as a positive if both parents live together (if alive ofcourse) and the family is in a decent position financially, not saying they should be Bill Gate's cuzins, but should be able to live a relatively comfortable lifestyle.
I think decent family background is more like a well rounded one i.e. your family is decently educated, cultured, religious
Decent background = a family who has a good standing socially - ie parents, grandparents etc have a good repuation in the community...ie...honest and devoid of any scandals or accusations etc
i think its a combination of the above two.
Re: Decent background
I think you need to evaluate the person you may or may not marry. There are some with horriffic backgrounds that make the very best spouse and there are some with the very best of backgrounds that make the worst of spouses. Look at tiger woods man. He DEVASTATED his family, he will lose them for sure and they will have his infamy follow him. Extreme case for sure but ... still. I have a man who was though to be not good enough. Tiger WOULD have been considered good enough. Guess what??? I got the better deal and the better husband. Honesty and upfrontness may be offending to some but to me its of utmost importance. And I plan to keep this very much in mind when my sons are looking to marry.
Re: Decent background
^ i totally agree with u!
Some people's habits may be wrong but their heart is in the right place... If my dad didn't marry my mum, he would of been some daaku in pakistan, but he did, kismat took him somewhere else and he let go of previous habits and he's the most amazing husband and father!
I couldn't thank god enough for a father like him
BUT
its still a minority, and there are alot of people who do everything under the sun and are total dogs!
Re: Decent background
yeah....I've seen families that fit the bill of what is being generally described as "decent" here but quite frankly I wouldn't want my child to be a part of their clan......
they have education
they have financial security, strength and stability
they are cultured
they appear to be moderately religious
there are no scandals or allegations against them in the community
but what nobody can see is this:
they have major underlying differences between the spouses
the husband is a lush
the wife has a roving eye and flirts like crazy
one son is using and dealing
one is likely to come out of the closet any day now
the money is all borrowed
Re: Decent background
^ all of the above things are pretty scandolus and if you know about it than its not really a well concealed secret, many more might know so they are not exactly under the 'decent' category.
Re: Decent background
I know a person who is having difficulty in convincing parents of the girl bcoz his dad had an affair with a married woman.
Decent background = a family who has a good standing socially - ie parents, grandparents etc have a good repuation in the community...ie...honest and devoid of any scandals or accusations etc.
It would probably count as a positive if both parents live together (if alive ofcourse) and the family is in a decent position financially, not saying they should be Bill Gate's cuzins, but should be able to live a relatively comfortable lifestyle.
This is the definition of "decent background" according to my parents.