Re: Dearth of Decent guys a Real problem for Western Desi Girls?
the amount of activity in the wedding forum indicates that there is no shortage of eligible men for marriage :D
Re: Dearth of Decent guys a Real problem for Western Desi Girls?
I have been to that forum, and there is more estrogen pumping there, such that it could put all the women across the globe out of menopause.
....Btw few of my white friends married Asian women . They are even learning Chines / Japanese for them . When I asked the reason , they were like ''They are good wives , and great mothers'' . :)
Just an observation .
I like the idea. My professor has Indian, Irish and Japanese daughters in law and he, his wife and the relevant son are happiest with the Japanese.
Re: Dearth of Decent guys a Real problem for Western Desi Girls?
The wedding forum...women are vicious. I'd rather go discuss politics
Re: Dearth of Decent guys a Real problem for Western Desi Girls?
....the relevant son?
............
Btw few of my white friends married Asian women . They are even learning Chines / Japanese for them . When I asked the reason , they were like ''They are good wives , and great mothers'' . :)
Just an observation .
We cannot generalize but you are right in some ways.
That may be because women of these countries are relatively more submissive. Or if submissive is not the right word then, more respectful to men than other places. German women have been historically very supportive and loyal too. Not sure these days.
....the relevant son?
The son out of the three who married Japanese :P
His daughter is going out with a German. Lets see what comes out of that!
- No, this world is increasingly becoming a more woman-and-man dominated world. Look around you. Women are out there and making a big difference. They work, they go to school, they are the brains that make and shake things.
Get up and smell the estrogen.
yeah u r rite out of 36 partner only one is female (the CA firm i work for) but all the telephone operators , majority of secretarial staff are women.
the same is the case wid the Big 4 audit firms in the world (PWC. E & Y, KPMG and Deloitte ).
to earn money should not be the prime purpose of the female life.
yeah u r rite out of 36 partner only one is female (the CA firm i work for) but all the telephone operators , majority of secretarial staff are women.
the same is the case wid the Big 4 audit firms in the world (PWC. E & Y, KPMG and Deloitte ).
to earn money should not be the prime purpose of the female life.
Where I work quarter to half the hub site technicians and headend engineers are in fact women. However, I do not see many female field technicians because their work is more physical and that's not something most women can handle (I will be brutally honest here). Not many women can lift 100 lbs and drive work trucks. BUT half the management team consists of women. It's changing, trust me..
Hey so, where are these great eligible desi girls? :) My parents went insane looking for a rishta for me but whoever posted this regarding desi guys is exactly what I've found with desi girls too!
[quote]
1. Too orthodox with too many religious demands - great option for the single reads Quran 10x a day hijabi, but not so much for other girls.
Too liberal - multiple sexual partners in the past, often looking for a free ride in a relationship - only will settle down when his parents blackmail him. Totally disconnected with the religion. Most likely to marry a hot white girl if he had a choice.
Too ugly - does not take care of hygeine, does not clean up, doesn't BOTHER to watch his weight, has self-esteem issues especially with body image - so basically, comes with a lot of BAGGAGE.
His family messed him up so much he is on anti-depressants.
[/quote]
And may I add #5: Complete airhead.
Maybe both sides (men AND women) need to raise their own personal standards up a little bit? Then everyone will be happy?
Lets be honest ladies: your competition, whether you like it or not, is all the other girls out there, of ALL backgrounds and nationalities. While they may or may not be a realistic option (family pressures etc.), you are STILL being compared to them. And yes, I know us guys have to deal with this too. I knew (and still know) this and have carried myself accordingly.
I'll state up front to counter any thoughts (since it has been mentioned several times in the thread) that I haven't been with any of them - not for lack of opportunity - but since I have a pretty decent sense of faith and good helping of self control... I've managed!
Desi girls typically come in two varieties - the humble housewife candidate (typically from back home) or the western style "I am woman, yay" candidate. Yes, that is extraordinarily simplified but lets just run with that for now. I personally was looking for something with a strong bias towards the western person - I wanted an interesting partner and near intellectual equal - not someone to just keep her mouth shut.* But I digress.
If my choice is some average desi girl, not at all prepped for 'doing household things' (failing variety a) and on the other hand with little ambition in life, not very mindful of her own fitness, etc. (failing variety b)... you're an extremely hard sell vs. that white girl over there who seems to 'have it all.'** Probably the one mentioned in the quote above (#2)
I know my opinion is echoed by many extremely eligible muslim men of different nationalities - not just desi. Raise yourselves up desi girls!
Oh and regarding the original post stating dating back home is "playing it safe" - I totally disagree with that mentality. But I guess you girls do too!
*African friend of mine who just got engaged used the word consigliere, I liked it.
**Obviously very rare and an exaggeration, but you get my point.
Re: Dearth of Decent guys a Real problem for Western Desi Girls?
From my experience (ie seeing my friends) eligible men have the pick of the year. They have the choice to choose the woman they want. There are by default more eligible girls then men. so you are still single, it is definitely you and not the guys.
Also chillax. Marriage will occur if it is your kismat. If it isn't accept Allah has different plans for you.
African guy using consigliere? Did he marry into an Italian mobster family or what? :D
Oh I'm very chillax, maybe even too much :) I got lucky that I did find someone, but my statement still stands. Needle in a haystack, diamond in the rough, etc. I just wanted to know if there was a great place that I totally missed hahaha.
And the guy married someone from his country based in the UK. His point was he wanted an advisor / someone who he could count on etc.; more than just a pretty face // housewife.
Re: Dearth of Decent guys a Real problem for Western Desi Girls?
life is hard..dont alwayz get what u want or what u thought u were going 2 get..
Re: Dearth of Decent guys a Real problem for Western Desi Girls?
Baron the chillax comment was directed at the wenches who are in menopause. I agree with your sentiments completely. Ones wife should be an equal in life and in all aspects. Save the phyiscal ones :D
Where I work quarter to half the hub site technicians and headend engineers are in fact women. However, I do not see many female field technicians because their work is more physical and that's not something most women can handle (I will be brutally honest here). Not many women can lift 100 lbs and drive work trucks. BUT half the management team consists of women. It's changing, trust me..
ok that gud .... u appreciate the difference. on the same note i dont see much role of women in decision making at the political as well as at the financial front in the western countries including America. what they generally do is the role of RM. i hardly see any female senator/ MP on CNN or BBC.
what musharraf hai did, cut a sorry figure, in the Unilever and in the CITI bank - Consumer banking though she was considered as a role model for Pakistani women.
there is a change u r rite ......... but r this change is beneficial for the society. after all money is not the sole criteria to gauge the quality of life. as a muslim shariah does not expect the women to be a money making machine ........ it may be her secondary role, in exceptional circumstances, but her primary responsibilities are different.
( for a muslim women role model shud be hazrat fatima, hafa and aisha instead of julia roberts, britney or diana)
beside i have never seen that men are falling for to share the responsibilities of the women instead they are increasingly shifting their responsibilities to the women. like in parent teacher meeting it is generally the mother who goes to the meeting despite she also works.
From what I've seen, guys who want to get married have had trouble for not having enough education/being established enough yet. Girls whose parents are looking have a hard time because with those who are established, because the daughters don't meet their deeni standard. The unestablished guys whom I'm referring are usually young, like early 20's.
How about the satisfaction that they didn't settle for an ugly guy without a house and not enough money and/or education?
Believe me, they aren't much to look at as well.
With people who talk about them like this behind their backs, its no wonder they could not bring themselves to get married to desi men. Maybe they're happier being single and not dealing with typical desi jhanjhat as you just showed above in your post?
they've become like this through their own actions, not my talking about them behind their backs.
I don't think they are happy being single because
a) they never smile even when you tell them good news.
b) they always diss girls who marry good guys - usually they say the girl was flawed in some manner which is really bad
c) they absolutely adore children yet cry about not being able to have any in their lifetime
d) they put their noses in everyone's business but get uber sensitive when anyone talks about their lifestyle choices.
no, these women are never happy. they always complain and cause problems for others.
and i don't know how getting married and being happy equates to "desi jhanjhat".
Re: Dearth of Decent guys a Real problem for Western Desi Girls?
this is why i started this thread a while ago, but the concerns weren’t as well articulated: http://www.paklinks.com/gs/life-relationships/268337-we-screwed.html
Wow... you'd better look like brad pitt to make such a nasty comment about people's beauty..............maybe not even then.
I was being sarcastic. I'm not dissing the guys they rejected, rather it's a jab at those who reject everyone they come across, waiting for some prince charming who isn't going to show up.