Post after post it is being said that there is a real problem of finding “good” guys.Either the guy is just flirting with different girls,not highly educated,Very Liberal,very religious or Does drugs.Nice educated guys more often than not marry from back home because they dont trust the girls “raised” in the west and want to play it “safe”.Secondly they think its easier to "Handle"a girl from back home even if she is highly educated professioanl like a doctor or very rich.So what options do the girls are left with?
1.Do a samjhota with the “reality” and lower the standards and demands
2.Convert a Gora and marry him.It carries the risk of being boycotted from the family and community.
3.Marry a guy on a work permit or student visa or back home.Its risky as well because they are being rightly or wrongly “perceived” as visa seekers.
4.Lead a secret double life with relationship that cannot be exposed to family
5.Dont marry at all…
Re: Dearth of Decent guys a Real problem for Western Desi Girls?
I think the problem is buying a good guy as there are not many GOOD guys available for sale, and even bigger problem comes up when these guys turns up to be something close to Human beings and does not behave like other equipments any girl and her family have in their house.
I guess the only solution of this problem is to start manufacturing the robots, as these human-like guys are not well enough...
Re: Dearth of Decent guys a Real problem for Western Desi Girls?
Isnt it ironic that brothers and sisters have so different views.Brothers want to marry from back home and sisters want the opposite as if they live in different worlds...!
Re: Dearth of Decent guys a Real problem for Western Desi Girls?
I think its all qismat ke khel.
Lately I found someone really nice, but he is gora, lives in US. He said he will convert if thats whats stopping this marriage but i could not say yes :( I wish he was a desi, i would have not waited for a second to say yes lol.
Lately I found someone really nice, but he is gora, lives in US. He said he will convert if thats whats stopping this marriage but i could not say yes :( I wish he was a desi, i would have not waited for a second to say yes lol.
Its very sad but its how the society and system works!
Re: Dearth of Decent guys a Real problem for Western Desi Girls?
^ Actually i wont care about society if i have to marry a gora. Coz after all its my life and as far as he converts i am okay with it. but that would be if i want to marry a gora. I personally think it wont work in long run, when we have kids. The guy is converting for me (which really shows his extent of interest in me) and not for Allah. U know what i mean? Tomorrow if he said he is converting back to christianity, then what i ll do? and where will our kids go? I am just afraid of my future with a gora otherwise he is a really really nice guy.
^ Actually i wont care about society if i have to marry a gora. Coz after all its my life and as far as he converts i am okay with it. but that would be if i want to marry a gora. I personally think it wont work in long run, when we have kids. The guy is converting for me (which really shows his extent of interest in me) and not for Allah. U know what i mean? Tomorrow if he said he is converting back to christianity, then what i ll do? and where will our kids go? I am just afraid of my future with a gora otherwise he is a really really nice guy.
Re: Dearth of Decent guys a Real problem for Western Desi Girls?
I think girls today set a bar so high that it becomes impossible for guys to reach. You have to realise that not every guy is perfect and he will have been swayed by temptation in the past. That doesn't mean he will do it in the future when he is married.
I remember there was a programme on in England about this very problem. This Imam from a mosque in Birmingham was trying to get people married in his community. There was this one guy who had it all, his own flat, cushy job and he wasn't too bad looking. He really really wanted to get married. The Imam got him paired with a like-minded girl from London who like him, was working, had an independent lifestyle. They met up and "clicked" but the girl didn't pursue it further than that. She kept just stringing him along saying she wasn't "ready". In the end, the guy got fed up and went back to Pakistan and got married. The point is, there are good guys out there but some girls just play mind games and they don't really have time for those when they want to settle.
There is no room for mistakes for a desi guy and I sometimes think women need to loosen up a little and let them breathe.
My fiance isn't perfect. I know very well what he has been up to in the past but I let it go. I know he won't go down that road again because he learned some harsh realities of life from it. Why should he be knocked down for learning a lesson?