**Dear Prudence,
**My new mother-in-law is causing me a conundrum (the first of many, I'm sure). She's called my husband twice and e-mailed me once, asking for a list of the wedding gifts we received from her friends and family. She wants to know so she can "be equally generous when their children get married." This seems tacky to me. I don't want to think of gift-giving this way ("Uncle Joe gave us $150 but Aunt Lisa gave us only $50. He must love us more"), and I don't think it's any of her business who gave what. I'm thankful for everyone's kind words and gifts, and have been trying to express that in our thank-you cards. It feels like she's cheapening my enjoyment of this process. Frankly, I think she should give gifts based on what she can afford and wants to give, without worrying about whether it makes her even on some imaginary gift-giving scorecard. But I don't want to make a big deal out of it or create an issue I'll have to hear about for years. Should I just answer her because that would put the issue to rest, or should I tell her I think she's tacky for this tit-for-tat approach to gift-giving?
—Not Wanting To Sound Like a Scold