Dealing with relatives

Lifestyle Relationships
1

for the first time in my life i am living in the same country/city as my relatives. some are in the process of arriving, some are already here, some newly immigrated.
its just so weird and sometimes really irritating. i am not used to the whole family politics, kis nay kya kaha.. kon kya kar raha hai etc. i am used to doing things i want the way i feel is right for me.
it has some good moments but there are some awkward irritating moments as well, time when u feel like slapping their faces and tell them to go to hell.
i am thinking of moving away to another city. but just realized that if i do.. they wud all come n stay over for few days then instead of few hours!
may be i shud just move to another country instead.

arughh! how do u deal with ur rishtay daar? experiences, suggestions, opinions, anything to make my life easier are welcome.

i’ve strongly suggested to few of the women to get a job. i think some took offence to it :-/

2

I felt the same when i went to pak and stayed with my relos (who at the same time are my bros inlaws)

for the first week i was ready to pack my bags and fly back here.. BUT i then started to ignore comments and things i found useless and my vacation turned out to be a blast

moving away may help.. but i wouldnt sacrifice free food and living

3

try to reason wut they r doing... it helps sumtime.. like to be in their shoes for a while.. everyone wants to vent sumtime.. n obviously for that they need to go to some one close.. no ?!?! :-) ... if u cant do that.. just ignore them.. hehe.. like 'Aik kaan say sunna, doosray say bahar' .. no harm done.. and atleast they'll b happy kay there is sumone to share their woes .....

4

how troublesome............

5

Throw a bbq every other weekend, and that way u'll see them only on that day. But if they pop out of nowhere on your door, then well tough.. you gota live with that :D

you can change your friends but not your rishtadars!

6

I dont think there is much you can do in all honesty, then give it time. I have had the same problem in my family, but other than moving away, your just going to have to deal with them, but with time, I think you can begin to tolerate them and its not that big of a deal anymore, its always rough adjusting in the beginning, but there are lots of goodpoints of having reatives nearby. Option B: one day have it out with them and then they will never speak to you again :-)

7

yaar relatives are such a blessing. show em some love.

8

Lagai Bujhai, is the best option. Keep them busy amonst themselves. :D

9

Suroor, let's be honest here and give those poor relatives of yours a break. I mean after all they are putting up with you day in and out. And your moving out of the city may exactly be what they really want.

10

cw: i did show em love n respect.. lekin woh log to sar par he charay ja rahay hai.
mb: they are busy doing exactly that.
fungu: if u can put up with me, so can they. but thats not the question is it? the question is how do I put up with THEM?! kabhi poori baat na parhna app.

11

Suroor get wild, get crazy, get radical...give them a lot to talk about.That will keep them busy on the phones and out of ur way.

12

get on with it sur, show some love. we get more stay over relatives than all of urz combined, try to handle and keep a positive attitude, u’ll find things to do and to talk about :slight_smile:
its not that hard :flower1:

13

^ if that doesnt work slap em :hehe:

Na be patient n hope it all work out well for u and giv them time they will soon learn new trends and triditions … :slight_smile:

14

Re: Dealing with relatives

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by suroor_ca02: *

may be i shud just move to another country instead.

[/QUOTE]

Amreeka k darwazey aapkey liye hamesha khuley hain.

15

suroor_ca02,

You have to put this into context, it's all relative.

16

mb? hoonh:

if they are doing that then go to Plan B.

Agar Relative A and Relative B ki aapas maiN nahiN banti tau keep praising Relative A in front of Relative B and vice versa. Both of them will think you are in league with the opposite party and wont like your company much.

:k: try it. It works. :wink:

17

I've learned that silence is teh bestestest of remedies in such cases.

Someone talks to u about someone else, don't give ur input. shut it and dont' pass it on either.

Someone tries to impose their pt.of view on u, dont disagree much. just nod and hten later work out an excuse to let em see ur way.

it all works out.....by being silent.

18

relatives gossip soo much. X-Commi youre right, silence is the best thing. Hamare khandaan main koi baat nahi chhupti!

19

I felt the same way when I was living close to my relatives. The aunties are the crux of the problem of course. Now I'm almost a 1000 miles away and happy :) I visit them once or twice a year to keep that connection alive and they visit us sometimes when they get a chance for a few days.

When I went to Pakistan, they totally tried to run my life and made it a living hell for the 3 weeks that I was there. Thank goodness it was only a 'vacation'.

It is very hard to stay away from stupid family politics because they will get you involved somehow or the other. I would say move away if you possibly can so you can stay out of the whole mess.
The other choice is to listen from one ear and out the next. Try not to visit them at every opportunity and if they want to come visit you, say that you are busy or going out. They will talk bad about you because you are not 'helping' them spread the rumors etc. but like my mom says "aik daafa buray baan jaao, zindagi bhaar ke liye faida hai" :D

20

BM well said :k: :k:

Surror follow BM’s advice , any guy from Peshawar is an expert in this sort of a thing.