Re: Dealing with Divorce / Break up
what about his parents? were they for it or against?
Re: Dealing with Divorce / Break up
Against. But it wasn't because they hated me, but because he was still in school and the my parents gave the same reason that he is not settled yet.
Re: Dealing with Divorce / Break up
do it again - you will get the best answer
Re: Dealing with Divorce / Break up
My parents and my husband's parents said the same thing about us initially and they still do but alhamdullilah the love and understanding is there so I am not worried. At the end of the day, its you and your hubby that have to live and be together so why care what others have to say about YOUR life?
I feel as if you are giving much more importance to your parents life than your own life. To an extent that is good but then again it all comes down to one question, whose happiness matters more to you: Yours or Theirs?
Re: Dealing with Divorce / Break up
Exactly WHAT has your husband done?
Re: Dealing with Divorce / Break up
Okay this is going a whole diff angle. The only reason I mentioned the parents thing was cuz it was asked. The decision of divorce isn't up to me or our parents, I have done my part and now all I can do is pray.
The reason I opened this thread was because I wanted to know **how people deal with it afterwards. **I don't think our communities are supportive or at least the one i live in isn't. I can already hear random aunties "tanay" about what happens to girls who make their own decisions or speak their minds or don't listen to their parents. I can almost see the happiness in my tai's eyes when she hears this. I can hear my uncles saying how they warned my father to marry in the family and not outside. You are lucky if you are not surrounded by these people.
Exactly WHAT has your husband done?
I think the question here is exactly WHAT have I done? And I don't know the answer.
Re: Dealing with Divorce / Break up
^ if u dont know the answer to either (ie. what has he done or you) then how can you take such a big step? shouldn't there be an absolute reason for taking such a drastic move?
you must know the problem before finding a solution
Re: Dealing with Divorce / Break up
I don't think ppl here are understanding Serafina's problem. She and her husband were in love with eachother and got nikaahofied though their parents had their reasons to disapprove of the marriage. The rukhsati has not yet taken place and her husband no longer wishes to go ahead with it and wants to divorce her. She has given it her best and tried to reason with him but he doesn;t give her any reason for this change in his feelings. Now she wonders if it is even worth pursuing, if her husband doesn't even love her then what is she putting up a fight for? The questions for which she is looking for answers are pretty clear I hope.
Re: Dealing with Divorce / Break up
i would say talk to ur husband face to face and tell him to tell you what is wrong, and that why did he get married to u in the first place if he had to do this(if the problem is from his side), tell him its not a joke, ur not engaged, ur MARRIED, so what if its only nikah, shaadi tu ho gaee na........he has to tell u the reason, he cannot ruin ur life like that.......be strong and talk to him....thats the best solution.
Re: Dealing with Divorce / Break up
thanks Femme
i really did sound dumb for being so oblivious
Re: Dealing with Divorce / Break up
Be open communicate with people and speak up.
As far as how people deal with heartaches and divorce well I guess it is a very touchy subject. Its not easy but its not the end of the world either. It might take you months or even years to get over your hubby but one day you will wake up realizing life is too short to dwell on anything and people move on. If he is the one that doesn't love you anymore, then you know what bye bye to him. You can do much better than that anyway.