Dealing with Divorce / Break up

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: Dealing with Divorce / Break up

Sarafina, You have given a really confusing tale. You are not even together so how in the world are you considering separating? Secondly, if you have madly love him for years and assuringly is still in love with him then why are you considering the divorce? I am a bit confused...

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Re: Dealing with Divorce / Break up

Serafina
is he the one wanting to back out?

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Re: Dealing with Divorce / Break up

^ Yes.

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Re: Dealing with Divorce / Break up

I wanna do something really wild, like dress up really nice, go to a club, sleep with a random guy end up with aids and die

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Re: Dealing with Divorce / Break up

I wanna go back to high school days where we thought we were gonna find our prince, get married and live happily ever after.

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Re: Dealing with Divorce / Break up

Yaar pleeeeeeeeeeeez...............
It's not worth it trying to ruin your life like that. Take it easy for a few days and see how things are. For now please go to sleep. We shall talk in the morning. Btw what time is it in your part of the world?

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:smack:

Why don’t you both talk it over, face to face, and try to remember why you fell in love with each other. That may help him understand what he is going through and why he is feeling this way.

I hope and pray for the best for you.

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Re: Dealing with Divorce / Break up

I dont get it. He used to be crazy about me. I am going to sleep before i drive myself nuts :(

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Re: Dealing with Divorce / Break up

Serafina how old are you if you don't mind me asking?

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lik e every ones suggesting u, my suggestion would be the same, DO NOT RUSH. I am sure u know this but i will still stay that marriage is not a joke! u havent mentioned how long have u been married for?u have to give time to ur marriage unless there are big issues b/w u guys as in he beats u or abuses u, mentally physically, or does not support u financially as well as other wise…i am married too, there are fights in every couple, and somtimes u wana walk away, but then u cannot, koz either u start looking at the good things or koz ur in love…if urs was a love marriage then how can u think of leaving him? i believe that LOVE is the key thing in marriage, if there is love, every thing is fine, but if therei s no love then such marriages have issues…u didnt tell us what are ur issues…what ever the case is do think properly and take a wise decision…its not really easy being without a partner!

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oh lord i didnt know u are just nikaofied.........well in that case also its hard, i was nikaofied for 2 and a half years before i got rukhsat, there were times when there were major major fights........i could not ever think of leaving my husband, koz 1. i loved him and 2. even though i was nikaofied but i was MARRIED!to me there was no option.......but in ur case if things are worst then u can go ahead and tell ur parents how u feel, they will be a good guide for u..........another suggestion to u with my own experience would be that life after rukhsati is totally different than life when ur nikaofied and living with ur parents, things change and do get better when u start living together.....believe me! but do what u feel is the best.......good luck!

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if ur madly in love then there shouldnt be an option for u to leave him:))))))

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Re: Dealing with Divorce / Break up

all i can say is, the first few months (or year) are the hardest.

u will have fights and quarrels thinking ur just gonna end up leaving... but if u give it some time, and give the relationship some love, it does work out... it takes time... but u have to be patient and really strong...

no marriage is without fights or arguments... and there is no prince out there that wont hurt u.. somehow or another, ur prince will hurt u without meaning to or wanting to.. its life..

i personally think, u should sleep on it... do a dua.. just relax and then think about ur decision... life isnt a fairytale.. and neither is marriage. But it can be, if we treat it with maturity and respect

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well said :k:

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Re: Dealing with Divorce / Break up

We are not fighting. We have don't have any arguments.

I can't talk to my family because I talked to a couple close friends and they just started bashing him, I mean hes still my husband and I don't think this is his fault. He can't control it if he doesn't have feelings for me. They dont understand because they never fell "in love" with their husbands and the only one thats telling me to stay strong and that this will work out doesn't know how it feels because her husband would never say these things to her. The love that they have is different I guess. I dont know. I don't even make sense to myself anymore let alone anyone else.

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Re: Dealing with Divorce / Break up

I think if I tell my family, they will want to end this relationship and get me remarried. Thats the first thing they will say cuz thats the first thing my friends say. They even made plans to go to ISNA and finding me a husband. One of em mentioned how her brothers still single and how her mother has always loved me.
Maybe I need new friends. I don't have any close guy friends around me. So this is what I get when I talk to my friends. They confused me even more.

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Re: Dealing with Divorce / Break up

Serafina right now its just the two of you dealing with it by yourselves. Mybe if both sets of parents are informed of what is going on then they can at least try to reason things out with him. Its not a kids game where u can just get out of it saying ur not interested any more. He has to havea valid reason as to why he doesn;t have the same feelings for you any more. Is there someone else in his life now? or does he have some fatal disease and is trying to get you out of his life? whatever the reason you deserve to know.

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Re: Dealing with Divorce / Break up

hmmm i have asked over and over again and thats all i have gotten. He doesn't want to talk to anyone else because its a private matter. Trust me, if you knew my parents you would understand why I don't want to tell them. They didn't think he was right for me in the beginning then why will they think that now. Actually I don't know how they will react but I know getting them involved isn't a good idea.

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Re: Dealing with Divorce / Break up

do ishtikhara before getting divorced

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Re: Dealing with Divorce / Break up

I did it once and I didn’t get answer. But I woke up very strong and with a very positive feeling in my heart. I felt like we could make this work. And then i got my periods :rolleyes: