Two part question,
As many typical Pakistani people I grew up shunning the thought of day care.
Now it seems the best option for my baby, but one I can’t get over my self inflicted stigma.
This morning when I dropped him off I saw a couple of kids with runny noses.
What precautions can I take to make sure baby is healthy and remains so.
Thanks.
For (1), I dealt with taht for a while.... I had to put my baby n daycare when he was 5 months old( had to go back to work) and lots of aunties were saying stuff like "ittna chotta sa bacha hay aur kin kay hawalay ker rahi ho" like people at day care were really cruel or something... and heard lots of stories from aunts in the family how they dont even care if your kid is hungry, how they left them crying and not give bottle on time.... how he will not remember you or recognize you at all.....
But Allhamdullilah my experience has been really good! yes he did get ear infection one after the other for a while but it seems to be better now... he is 14 months old now....
and was much more behaved and had his own personality then lots of babies of his age who were stay home with their moms...
My son always loves to play with other kids his age and has no stranger anexity... where other babies were always crying for their mommies which gets a bit too mcuh at gatherings...
I remember one lady telling me when my son was playing with toys at a family gathering while her daughter was crying/screaming even in her mother's lap that, since my son is in day care he doesnt care about his mom and how her daughter is so attached to her.... (which at times is saddening to hear a comment like that).....
2) if she is going to day care for the first time, she is going to face so many germs... its just an outside environment... i usually make sure to wash his hands as soon as we get back home.... and before i give him anything to eat... that has helped a lot... other than that you cant really do much.... they are going to be exposed to these now or when they go to school.... and in a way if its early its just better that way once they go to school they dont miss many school days where other kids who have never been to school/ daycare do get sick in the beginning before they really establish a immune system against it....
-Sanna
Re: Dealing w/ DayCare
It's not only the typical pakistanis you grew up with, most western experts agree that children under 3 should stay with their mother as much as possible.
Re: Dealing w/ DayCare
thank you sanna.
Some really good advice.
Two part question,
2) This morning when I dropped him off I saw a couple of kids with runny noses. What precautions can I take to make sure baby is healthy and remains so.
Thanks.
Nothing, kids catch things from one another and after a while develop their immune system and are resistent against most of the germs. Don' t worry hon.
Re: Dealing w/ DayCare
I put my daughter in when she was 19 months, and im glad she went through all the runny nose bit stuff... now she's immuned to most bugs at childcare.. and is Mashallah a very happy camper
hareem, ive not heard of any such thing... when i decided to put my daughter in and discussed this with her nurse (when bubz was only 1 yr old) the nurse said it was a very good idea for her development... but to each their own. Everyone has their own views on this
everywhere I go, i get told Mashallah how independant my bubz is.. strangers on the street will point it out too.. and it makes me really happy. Could be just her genes too though
For (1), I dealt with taht for a while.... I had to put my baby n daycare when he was 5 months old( had to go back to work) and lots of aunties were saying stuff like "ittna chotta sa bacha hay aur kin kay hawalay ker rahi ho" like people at day care were really cruel or something... and heard lots of stories from aunts in the family how they dont even care if your kid is hungry, how they left them crying and not give bottle on time.... how he will not remember you or recognize you at all..... But Allhamdullilah my experience has been really good! yes he did get ear infection one after the other for a while but it seems to be better now... he is 14 months old now.... and was much more behaved and had his own personality then lots of babies of his age who were stay home with their moms... My son always loves to play with other kids his age and has no stranger anexity... where other babies were always crying for their mommies which gets a bit too mcuh at gatherings... I remember one lady telling me when my son was playing with toys at a family gathering while her daughter was crying/screaming even in her mother's lap that, since my son is in day care he doesnt care about his mom and how her daughter is so attached to her.... (which at times is saddening to hear a comment like that).....
2) if she is going to day care for the first time, she is going to face so many germs... its just an outside environment... i usually make sure to wash his hands as soon as we get back home.... and before i give him anything to eat... that has helped a lot... other than that you cant really do much.... they are going to be exposed to these now or when they go to school.... and in a way if its early its just better that way once they go to school they dont miss many school days where other kids who have never been to school/ daycare do get sick in the beginning before they really establish a immune system against it....
-Sanna
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dont listen to that crap..
Just cus a kid aint crying on ur lap the whole time at a party doesnt mean they aint attached to you. Just means they are quite happy to be independant and are inquisitive... and thats a very good thing not a bad one at all.
Im sure when ur at home and ur son needs to be held, he'll come to you and would want you to be the first person to hold him if he's scared at night. Dont feel bad. Ur son will love you regardless of what anyone else says
Re: Dealing w/ DayCare
It's usually the girls who cry for their mothers in gatherings, boys don't care and want to do their own things......well atleast my sons don't cry for me and they never went to a daycare.
Re: Dealing w/ DayCare
Muniya, the kids who start day care at a young age typically do pick up bugs and illnesses - which build their immune systems. So once they start kindergarten, their immune systems are more effectively working. Mine didnt go to day care and so when they went to pre-k class, they were constantly sick. We had one winter when we had more sick days than healthy ones :( Anyway, all littles go thru that immune development time.
As far as feeling bad about it....every mom desi or not feels bad to one degree or another. Actually, its part of a mom's job to worry over whether we're doing the right thing no matter what we do!! Being home with mine, I was made to feel (and wondered often) whether my kids were getting enough social exposure.
Anyway, you're in an extended family situation now right? Maybe let them care for your little. That way, they get their time and you can more easily get yours with the little one. Just a thought...
Re: Dealing w/ DayCare
The recent attack on a childcare center by a psycho was shocking and it tells how much do they care about the safety and security.
Re: Dealing w/ DayCare
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Hareem**honey - you're really not helping. certain situations don't permit moms to stay home. that said please lets try and answer the question here not introduce another debate.
sadzz thanks that does help me. Anything you can think of that I should be doing for the little one when he goes to DayCare?
Mama0f3 thats what we were wondering too - there is a kid in the family whose always around his mother and home basically and he's just a terrible little brat whose afraid of everything. We didnt want that to happen to Ayman either. So we had a nanny situation where she had her own boys his age. Was working out perfectly until she started asking for a million days off. So then the next option was DayCare. Yesterday was his first day. :(
As for the extended family - I dont think anyone is willing to care for him. And I'm not going to force anyone... my baby deserves to be wanted.
I work really close to his school so I get to make atleast 3 visits a day and he seems fine.
But whose to tell a mother's heart?
Hareemhoney - you're really not helping. certain situations don't permit moms to stay home. that said please lets try and answer the question here not introduce another debate. ?
You are doing a great job....I didn't wanna upset you by telling my views.
Re: Dealing w/ DayCare
Certainly there are many day-care facilities that arent up to par and accidents and tragedies can happen there...as they can at home. Yet, even the article linked above cites these...(the lesser quality facilites) as having negative impact on children. But high quality facilities have positive impact on children in many many ways as implied in the article.
High quality care is so very important - both at home and away from home. Giving a child quality care at home and away will almost guarantee a model child no matter what age the "away" starts from.
Some of us have the desire/need to be with our littles. Some cannot or prefer to expose their children to outside experiences from young ages...nothing wrong with either approach as long as the focus is on quality yeah?
I'm considered to be kind of an oddball in my community. We live in a really prosperous area with super-high quality public schools. Most kids here have live-in nannies from birth. They start all kinds of activities and pre-schools from age 18 months. Many kids (we're talking 5 years old!) do not arrive home until 5pm or even later because of the piano lessons, horseback riding, lacrosse, soccer, tennis, golf etc etc. I've met only two mothers sofar who stay home with their littles and make family the focus. I stuck to my way, they stick to theirs and I try not to judge as I hope they dont judge me. Everyone has their own ideas, values and things of importance. But something I have to say is that our town does produce lots of successful people, these who have had very little "mommy-time". It all boils down to the quality of care I think, whether its home or away.
Re: Dealing w/ DayCare
...something you may want to do Muniya for your little one...make a little picture book for your little one with pictures of you and your child. If the little one misses you during their day, they can look at the picture book. You can even add little notes and tuck them into the book so theres a different note each day.
Hareemhoney - you're really not helping. certain situations don't permit moms to stay home. that said please lets try and answer the question here not introduce another debate.
sadzz thanks that does help me. Anything you can think of that I should be doing for the little one when he goes to DayCare?
Mama0f3 thats what we were wondering too - there is a kid in the family whose always around his mother and home basically and he's just a terrible little brat whose afraid of everything. We didnt want that to happen to Ayman either. So we had a nanny situation where she had her own boys his age. Was working out perfectly until she started asking for a million days off. So then the next option was DayCare. Yesterday was his first day. :(
As for the extended family - I dont think anyone is willing to care for him. And I'm not going to force anyone... my baby deserves to be wanted.
I work really close to his school so I get to make atleast 3 visits a day and he seems fine. But whose to tell a mother's heart?
I agree. You are right don't worry that much. My sister even use to come to see her son when she use to send him to my mom as he use to come to nani house.
I use to laugh at my sister.
Aisay hi thori maan ka darja baap ki nisbat buland hai.
When you leave him "say Allah day hawalay" keep praying during your work when you get worried about him. After sometimes you will get use to it. So don't worry.
So then the next option was DayCare. Yesterday was his first day. :(
But whose to tell a mother's heart?
The first few days were also very hard on me, I cried more than my daugther, but now I can say, she loves it there, never once she said, she wants to be at home, she gets up in the morning all happy Mashallah and when we ask her, what she wants to do, she tells us, "kindergarten jaana hai" ... :)
The first few days were also very hard on me, I cried more than my daugther, but now I can say, she loves it there, never once she said, she wants to be at home, she gets up in the morning all happy Mashallah and when we ask her, what she wants to do, she tells us, "kindergarten jaana hai" ... :)
Awww that is so cute Saadia.
Yeah sisters daughter love to go to school she is in kindergarten too.
One of my sisters dhamki is I won't let you go to school.
Re: Dealing w/ DayCare
Munz, there are so many daycares to choose from these days. I’m sure you’ll do your homework well and try to find the best one that fits your needs and budget.
Regarding the social stigma, heck, people will talk regardless. here, I’m a stay home mom since I had mine and I often hear people say, “what a waste of education and so many years of professional experience, she should contribute to her household income, oh she’s lazy, living off husband’s money” and all that good stuff. yeah even from my own family members sometimes 
. But you know, nobody knows better that mom and dad. If you can work, than you should by all means. Don’t feel guilty because whichever way, kids adjust and parents always work toward the best interest.
Regarding infections, when my daughter started going to preschool, she started bringing home the germie buddies and I did notice a significant increase in colds and flus. But over a period of time, her immunity got better and now she’s a regular kid with regular stuff. Just feed him well and make sure he gets enough sleep, he will build himself up. Now I’m getting read for my little one to start preschool in September. Let’s see 
The recent attack on a childcare center by a psycho was shocking and it tells how much do they care about the safety and security.
Due to 1 incident, you can't generalize for all centers. What about the crazy stay at home moms who choke/strangle their kids, or abuse them or what not...that you hear all over the news. Doesn't mean all mothers are bad...right. You have to find what suits an individual's needs.