Re: Day after Wedding
Apparently my in-laws woke up expecting that my family was about to turn up with a ready cooked breakfast banquet which never materialised, bcos we were from england and had no knowledge of this strange custom, my parents didn't have a clue this was expected of them, so they stayed away to give us some privacy. HAHAHA!
Heard a bitter recollection of this from a twisted SIL, so not really sure if it was true or not, no one else complained.
What was the lecture about?
I don't remember. something abt having love and respect, sharam and hayaa and all that. i was busy trying not to laugh/giggle.
Apparently my in-laws woke up expecting that my family was about to turn up with a ready cooked breakfast banquet which never materialised, bcos we were from england and had no knowledge of this strange custom, my parents didn't have a clue this was expected of them, so they stayed away to give us some privacy. HAHAHA!
Heard a bitter recollection of this from a twisted SIL, so not really sure if it was true or not, no one else complained.
LOL pakistanis!
I don't remember. something abt having love and respect, sharam and hayaa and all that. i was busy trying not to laugh/giggle.
Haha I'd be trying to hide my laughter like a kid too.
Re: Day after Wedding
Interesting thread.
Re: Day after Wedding
well thatis a tradition here thatthe breakfast is sentfrom the bride’s family. In my case, i was in another city, so my inlaws knew it was not sane to get someone therall the way from lahore with the breakfast(when my family was expected to be there anyways forthe walima the same afternoon) but to oursurprise , my sister, my mumaani and my sister’s fiance surprised us with breakfast. theywere so ‘shauqeen’ of all the rasms and stuff that they left lahore early in the morning with specially ordered breakfast just to surprise us. it was so sweet of them:)
as for the day after wedding dressing-up, I had decided a light peach suit with silverembroidery ( I knew itwould be for a couple of hours as I had to leave for the salon for getting ready for walima) but then I changed my mind and wore this light beige suit with light kaam to match the necklace set I got in ‘moonh-dikhai’ from hubby 
Re: Day after Wedding
^proto..was that you whose in-laws wanted to come along to the honey???? just a random thought :)
nothing special in my case..woke up around 9 or so..had brunch with in-laws..and picked out my clothes, which were declared to be too simple and therefore, rejected by the inlaws. I ended up wearing something i hated, but didn't complain..in the late afternoon, went to my parents. My whole family/relatives were gathered at my parent's, so i had dinner with them. fun fun times.
Apparently my in-laws woke up expecting that my family was about to turn up with a ready cooked breakfast banquet which never materialised, bcos we were from england and had no knowledge of this strange custom, my parents didn't have a clue this was expected of them, so they stayed away to give us some privacy. HAHAHA!
Heard a bitter recollection of this from a twisted SIL, so not really sure if it was true or not, no one else complained.
I'm guessing you're pashtun as we have this tradition in our family too although in my case it was always taken as given that my parents wouldn't comply nor did my in-laws expect them to due to the geographical distance between both households.
Re: Day after Wedding
^ I didn't know that it was a pashtun tradition to bring breakfast, actually I had never heard of it until waaaay after the wedding when aforementioned BIL's wife brought it up. I also have never seen or heard of it being done by pashtuns in UK or elsewhere in Paks, so may be its something that was picked up in Husbands region.
Re: Day after Wedding
yeah we have a similar tradition for bridas family to bring nashta to the dulhan and new family the next day after wedding. I am punjabi from Sialkot/Lahore. Anyways my husbands home was in Pindi & Parents were in Sialkot, so it wasnt sensible for the to bring breakfast. But my cousins who live in Pindi surprised us and brought over a rather lavish nashtha which I think I only tasted as I was trying to say whassup to everyone. Hubby's extended family was all there the next day, as well as some of my local pindi relatives showing up to greet me. I wore a very simple lawn suit the next day, and seriously had no idea that i am supposed to dress up....but then again it was like 85-90 degrees and soon I had to leave to the parlor to get ready. We had a mid afternoon walima, as people were coming from lahore/sialkot..etc....
Ahh good times. Ohh and we also have the maklava. After the walima, me and hubby went back to my parents place and stayed a few days. Then my brother in law n his wife came to get us i think 4 days later and then we went back to my hubby's place in Pindi, where my MIL did several rasams...but then again my MIL is a paranoid women....like weird rasams i never heard of...but did only to keep everyone happy :)
i think i threw something like salt....i forget....and then on entrance to the house, we were handed some "thail" to throw....something like that for good luck etc....in our new marriage...i forget. It was cool though.
Re: Day after Wedding
yes farishta..that was me :D MashaAllah great memory !
Re: Day after Wedding
2 days after our valima me and my husband went to his chacha and chachis house. as soon as i got there his chachi didnt let me come up because she decided to do some rasm haha which i never heard of. she got sugar and sprinkled it in front of me to cross over it. then gave me a bouquet of roses.
ive never heard of this tradition maybe she just wanted to do something cute.
i love her. :)
[quote="sumorani, post:21, topic:199531"]
2 days after our valima me and my husband went to his chacha and chachis house. as soon as i got there his chachi didnt let me come up because she decided to do some rasm haha which i never heard of. she got sugar and sprinkled it in front of me to cross over it. then gave me a bouquet of roses.
Sprinkling sugar!! That was interesting and cute.
Re: Day after Wedding
its a tradition in my and my hubbies kahdan..dat the day Of the wedding someone goes wid da bride to make sure she doesnt feel werid all alone in a new place and dat person stays wid her for the rasams and all..and usually its a sister..cozn or someone close to the bride...
da day after.. da dhulan wali side takes nastaa for the dhulaaa wali side and gives his family presents..den after the valima da dhula and dhulan come back to da brides house..and stay dere for a nite..da next day.. dey get to sleep in late:P hehe and in sham dey invitee the grooms side over for dinner aka muklava or somthing..lol
a few days later..da dhulan OR da dhula wali side takes the inlaws and the married couple to brunch:P
and if ur da dhulan or dhula in our khandan ur rents pay for da honeymoon..lol
me and my hubbie r from da same khandan..lol soooo its soo funny coz he will pay for da honeymoon plus my dad will also give us another gift for a honeymoon:p heheh FUNN:P
Re: Day after Wedding
^yeh we have a similar tradition but its usually an older/married person that is close to the bride that goes with the bride after the wedding for a bit while all the rasms are taking place at the husbands house.
2 days after our valima me and my husband went to his chacha and chachis house. as soon as i got there his chachi didnt let me come up because she decided to do some rasm haha which i never heard of. she got sugar and sprinkled it in front of me to cross over it. then gave me a bouquet of roses.
ive never heard of this tradition maybe she just wanted to do something cute.
i love her. :)
Its probably symbolic of may you always bring sweetness with you when you go to her house... Either that or she wanted a good trail of ants to walk in after you...
Re: Day after Wedding
wow all you girls saying you wore nice shalwar kamizs the day after, lucky you!!! at every brunch in my family, the brides have been 'frowned' upon if not dressed up all the way. i am talking about heavy saris, shararas, gold sets- the whole shabang.. even if the nashta is at 10 am! i think that's because my dad's side of the family is indian, very traditional biharis and they really believe that a new bride should be all decked up especially for the first couple of days since unlike india or pakistan, it's not like you get a chance to do that on a normal basis.. besides you're only newly wed for a while. not that im gonna complain because i love dressing up =) i remember the day after my nikkah, my inlaws had thrown a lunch reception and i wore a black saree with gold and kundan work on it. now to me that was a pretty saree, and everyone in my family loved it except my chachi who was all haww hayee that i was wearing black the day after! lol. she's not the conservative type and quite modern so i was a bit surprised when she told me i should have worn something more 'color' wala and how black is considered a bad omen.
Re: Day after Wedding
oh my god LOL guppies nice stories. I think the few days after the shadi are one of the best(esp if there is no bad-mazgi and pressure) I think the bride and groom shouldn't have to get up early, we got to sleep in and then had brunch/lunch around 11/12ish, wore something nice but more elaborate than regular day, but I was expected to wear gold bangles in both hands/couple of heavy chanis and earing, just to look special, more dresses up from the rest. We were even allowed to rest in the afternoon for couple of hours for the valima at night :) so my hubby 'neend ka shauqeen' slept in the afternoon and I had 'chai' with my susral :)
My susral has a very interesting tradition, after I took shower everytime for first week or so, my sas dried my hair on some fragrent smoke (I think it was some herbs and salts from India and saudi) my hair smelled like heaven for days after :)
I think it is fun to dress up go to dawats, and be special. oh forgot one more thing my sas made me wear flowers everyday :) which I thought was very pendu but sweet.
Brides-to-be enjoy that time, you will remember it for the rest of your life inshallah, hopefully good memories.
Re: Day after Wedding
The day after our wedding I woke up very excited looking forward to the valima. We got up at around 10, got ready and went for breakfast at my in laws then I went back to my parents home and then to the beauty parlour. No rasms or anything of that sort.
I absolutely love dressing up and its the few days after the wedding that we can do it only so enjoy this time period!
Re: Day after Wedding
shay did u just change ur name to pareezay?
^ I didn't know that it was a pashtun tradition to bring breakfast, actually I had never heard of it until waaaay after the wedding when aforementioned BIL's wife brought it up. I also have never seen or heard of it being done by pashtuns in UK or elsewhere in Paks, so may be its something that was picked up in Husbands region.
I've seen it happen in some families over here - also pashtun ones. Although it is becoming less common even back in pak. I guess cos nowadays it's quite normal for a bride's family and a groom's family to live so far away from each other.
What's your husbands region btw?