When people come over and see the new daughter-in-law for the first time they usually give money.
What to do if the mother-in-law doesn’t hand the money over to her daughter-in-law?
Re: Daughter-In-Law’s Money
Kill her! 
the MIL would be committing a great sin called “amaanat meN Khiyaanat” and she should be ready for the punishment in the hereafter!
the visitors should give the money in the bride’s hands. the parents of the bride should instruct her to stuff all the money in her BRA from where MIL can’t take! 
Warld Waar Z (ee tv)
Re: Daughter-In-Law's Money
I think its the Parents in law's right on that money coz they will have given the salami's to others in their social circle and now is the time those people are returning the salami's , so in essence , its their money not the DIL's.
In my case, all the money I got from my father's social circle, I handed them to my father , even though he insisted I keep them. I kept some but returned most of it to him.
For , all the money I received from my husband's side of the family and friends, I handed them over to my husband , for him to do what ever he likes with that money. I expected him to return it to his parents , which he did .
Re: Daughter-In-Law's Money
That's strange. All the brides I've ever seen got to keep theirs and were encouraged to spend it by their in laws and parents.
But ultimately it might not be the inlaws family tradition to give the money to the bride so fighting against tradition is a bit difficult. Best not to create a ruckus in the first few days of marriage.
Re: Daughter-In-Law's Money
The money is for the DIL. Having said that I would mention it to husband to know if they have different traditions to mine and if yes will forget about it. Seriously this amount dsnt really matter. Be happy :) and dnt fight on petty issues so early on.
Re: Daughter-In-Law’s Money
I didnt realize DIL has a claim on that money. we are talking about salami’s right?
I thought all the money gifted belongs to the in-laws unless they specifically ask you to keep it. The only money I kept was the one that the DIL gets after that meetha banao rasam. That money is intended for the bahoo, so I kept it 
Re: Daughter-In-Law's Money
Chicken Biryani here it belongs to the bride. The money that the groom gets belongs to the groom. People gift it to the bride and groom. Why should either in laws pocket it?
Re: Daughter-In-Law’s Money
Hmmmna, this is what I am saying , I was told that the money that you get as Salami’s at your barat , is basically a return of favour to your parents coz they would have given salami’s to their social circle at some point. So in essence money belongs to the parents . Unless they ask you to keep it as your gift.
Similarly, money gifted at the waleema , all the salami’s are coz your in laws would have given salami’s and people are now returning the money in a way. So the money belongs to the in laws unless they ask you to keep it as your gift.
This is what I was told was a Pakistani tradition , is it not? 
Re: Daughter-In-Law's Money
Sabr karna chahye. It happened to me. But we should not make issues of these small stuff.
Re: Daughter-In-Law's Money
Best to ask family in question/ your husband.
Every family has different rules and traditions.
If they want the money I would hand it over because as someone said it's from their social circle where they did the lena-dena.
Re: Daughter-In-Law's Money
I think its the Parents in law's right on that money coz they will have given the salami's to others in their social circle and now is the time those people are returning the salami's , so in essence , its their money not the DIL's.
In my case, all the money I got from my father's social circle, I handed them to my father , even though he insisted I keep them. I kept some but returned most of it to him.
For , all the money I received from my husband's side of the family and friends, I handed them over to my husband , for him to do what ever he likes with that money. I expected him to return it to his parents , which he did .
Interesting point! I never thought about this, but your post is very valid.
Re: Daughter-In-Law’s Money
Nothing…the DIL should not do anything. Its not like we’re talking about thousands and thousands of dollars here. Its what…$50…maybe $100. Ok fine…$250 if they’re generous. Point being is this money really worth potentially causing tension with the MIL and possibly the rest of the family? A new DIL should stay focused on building a positive rapport with the MIL and the rest of the family. Until a positive rapport is established and the DIL is aware of the family’s traditions when it comes to things like this, she needs to not rock the boat at all (unless she’s being abused in some way or MIL is doing something to really make her life miserable).
Re: Daughter-In-Law's Money
i had never tought of that ! the fact that in some family , the mil can keep the salaami..but makes sense after the above explanations...
at least im ready for such occurance now :)
Re: Daughter-In-Law’s Money
That is the first time I heard it 
haven’t seen this custom before. The bride and groom keep their salami money.
Re: Daughter-In-Law’s Money
Oh ok .. I dont know then .. I was pretty new to the country’s traditions and asked around a lot of people from extended family and friends and that is what I got told. It must be a very family specific tradition then, I dont know
Re: Daughter-In-Law’s Money
jo paisay jisko milay, woh uss kay 
simple !!
Re: Daughter-In-Law’s Money
In our family it is counted as ‘tameez’ on dil’s part to hand over the salaami and jewelry to mil .. the mil never keeps it though and returns right away but that makes the dil earn brownie points on day 1 It was the same with my ILs too because I was instructed strictly keh sub pakraa dena jatay hee :halo:
Re: Daughter-In-Law's Money
The salaami is a gift for the bride/groom, and it should go to them.
But would I make a big fuss about it? Nope.
Re: Daughter-In-Law's Money
Salami usually goes to parents...but I can see both sides of it.
I'd go along with it...no big deal.