Re: dating culture
i believe the rules should be the same for the girls dating or the guy. so please do not quote girls specifically. secondly if women can accept the husband with a past then why cant men? i hate this double standard in this society.
if you're dating with the right intention i.e to marry him its fine. you should find out if you can survive a marriage or not. because divorce is a big thing.
one should always marry with their own choice.
Isn't that worse???
Oh, and nice generalisations about white women..
Most desi girls who date and/or marry white guys (there are some who marry converts without any dating) don't do it cos they 'look up to them', it's just a case of attraction (physical or personality-wise), nothing complicated about it all.
Can't stand the hypocrites who think it's ok for Pakistani guys to sleep with as many white girls as possible but if a girl has even one relationship or contemplates marrying a white guy it becomes a big deal. To all the idiots who think it's 'harmless fun' when the boys do it open your eyes and see what happens when the girls end up pregnant - it's a lot more common than u think..
I'm sorry, if i gave you a impression that i was defending that kind of behavior. I wasn't. I don't remember the reason behind that post (it was few days ago). But i think someone mentioned guys so i was trying to make point that a lot of guys arn't dating whites girls b/c they think they are moving up the ladder (superior race) where a lot of desi girls might be dating whites b/c they consider them superior. Big difference. Point is a lot of girls arn't dating whites mainly b/c of religion or else they would be all over them? opinions lol
what's up with women who always defend their wrong doking by saying men do it too. that doesn't make it right. As far a women dating in our culture/religion. I would definitely question her character/judgment.
WOW STOP THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am a white girl and NO WAY are we all easy!!! Maybe just the ones you meet....but you cannot stereotype like that! We are in 2010...why can't people spend time with others regardless of ethnic origin etc etc...if people get one END OF!! If they go on to get married...kids etc...so be it! Yes some white girls are easy but not ALL!! Well I'm not easy anyway!! I beleive in desi way...no sex before marriage...as if you have such a strong connection with someone and get on well...care for them etc...the sex does not matter ne way
I'm sorry. I never said, all white women are easy or all desi guys dating them mainly for that reason. From what i have noticed.. a lot of desi guys go after whites b/c they think it's easier to date them than desi girls (again generalizing). What percentage of white women you think are virgin 20-25 age group.. VERY LOW!!
Re: dating culture
^ The same can be said of desi men in the UK yet strangely you don't call them easy..
Altho both sexes do it it's far more common for desi guys to sleep around (isn't that 10x worse than dating someone with the intent of marrying them, which a lot of those desi girls do, regardless of whether they're black/white/brown) yet for some reason this thread is focused on women.. Seems like the thing that is bothering u most of all is those desi girls marrying white men, the fact that the guys tend to still marry a desi in the end after 'putting it about' seems to somehow be a plus point in ur eyes..
I'm sorry, if i gave you a impression that i was defending that kind of behavior. I wasn't. I don't remember the reason behind that post (it was few days ago). But i think someone mentioned guys so i was trying to make point that a lot of guys arn't dating whites girls b/c they think they are moving up the ladder (superior race) where a lot of desi girls might be dating whites b/c they consider them superior. Big difference. Point is a lot of girls arn't dating whites mainly b/c of religion or else they would be all over them? opinions lol
what's up with women who always defend their wrong doking by saying men do it too. that doesn't make it right. As far a women dating in our culture/religion. I would definitely question her character/judgment.
Regarding the bit in blue, if somebody seriously thinks Pakistani or Indian girls date or marry white men because they think white is superior they need their head checking.. most desi girls aren't obsessed with fair skin in their partners the way the boys are anyway, they don't tend to insist on 'as fair as possible' like a lot of guys do (often when they're nowhere near light themselves either, can u get any more hypocritical)..
As for the red bit, it doesn't make it right for either.. you'd question a girl's character but not a man's?? Perhaps double standards like this is one reason some girls prefer to 'marry out.'
^ The same can be said of desi men in the UK yet strangely you don't call them easy..
Altho both sexes do it it's far more common for desi guys to sleep around (isn't that 10x worse than dating someone with the intent of marrying them, which a lot of those desi girls do, regardless of whether they're black/white/brown) yet for some reason this thread is focused on women.. Seems like the thing that is bothering u most of all is those desi girls marrying white men, the fact that the guys tend to still marry a desi in the end after 'putting it about' seems to somehow be a plus point in ur eyes..
haha i was just trying to point a difference. By no means i was defending em. I know it's wrong. It's not a plus but there is a difference. I much rather date whites girls b/c they are easy to communicate than look up to them (thinking i am moving up a ladder)... that was my point.
Regarding the bit in blue, if somebody seriously thinks Pakistani or Indian girls date or marry white men because they think white is superior they need their head checking.. most desi girls aren't obsessed with fair skin in their partners the way the boys are anyway, they don't tend to insist on 'as fair as possible' like a lot of guys do (often when they're nowhere near light themselves either, can u get any more hypocritical)..
As for the red bit, it doesn't make it right for either.. you'd question a girl's character but not a man's?? Perhaps double standards like this is one reason some girls prefer to 'marry out.'
I know guys want fair skin. I personally think it's wrong.. well..kinda, idk. Everyone has a preference.. i am more into tan look than pale/dark. But to me it's NOT the skin color but facial features, height, figure that matters. Reason it got shifted to only women is b/c i was wondering if one thing that is holding desi women back from marrying white men is Islam. Where desi men could marry white women but they don't. A lot of them don't. Now if women could marry whites.. would they go after them or stick with their own race??? i don't wanna get into all this pale skin topic in this thread b/c i already have one thread open regarding dating whites..
No, i question man's character too. since i'm a man, who is only interested in women,, i am more focused on em. If i come across one during my rishta i would definitely not be interested in her. You have question her character/judgment. In islam, it's haram. In our society (pak) it's looked down upon. A lot of guys wouldn't marry you if you have had b/f.. parents might get a heart-attack if they find out.. you aer the one who will get pregnant not the guy (he could easily walk out.. and most guys do),, considering this you are dating/sleeping around.. i would definitely question ur character.
Re: dating culture
How can you marry a person without knowing them?
How can you marry a person without knowing them?
you definitely don't need to sleep with a person or do you?? :P
how long do you think it takes to know someone?? why do u need to date and stuff? why cant it be done thr ur parents in a proper environment? sometimes when a girl is trying to know someone end up popping a baby out and father is no where to be found
Re: dating culture
^ that's quite silly. I'm sure Aashiq didn't mean getting to know the person in THAT way. loll
The whole thing about taking your siblings or parents with you seems pretty stupid, i mean seriously???!! Would you be able to talk to the other person like that if they were sitting right there listenin to every word you say, possibly adding in their own lil annoying opinions or laughing at you etc etc
Instead you can take a totally chillaxed cuz or some mates that can take a hint, they'll keep an eye on you but won't be listening to your every word. If you want to be more careful, you know with a mehram and stuff try taking an uncle? Like i took my mamu and mami, they'd just got married and they were totally cool.
Re: dating culture
i;m sure Aashiq didn't mean it that way, i was just playing around.
i didn't mean, take your parents with you or talk front of them. But at least let them know. you know what i mean, don't hide ur relationship, sneak out etc.
How can you marry a person without knowing them?
Fact of the matter is, you can NEVER know someone whether you dated them, or it was arranged for you to be with them.
My first nikah, was arranged by my family, and the guy turned out to be philanderer. Soon after I was asked by a roommate why I would go through another arranged marriage given the experience that I had with it. Another roommate replied, what's the common theme in kobe's wife, tiger's wife, clinton's wife, sanford's wife? they all dated for YEARS prior to their marriage, each of their hubbies turned out to be cheaters. People can date for years, even be married for years, and it turns out in the end that the grapes of their futures were unfortunately sour, and they end up in a divorce, or live miserably with each other.
We cannot predict the future, no matter how much we think we know, or not know, about another person. Hence, why Desi mothers like to say, "Marriage is a gamble," and Americans like to say, "for better or for worse"
So why do we go through arranged marriage, if it's all the same in the end? Simply because Allah swt liked it that way better and as servants of Allah, we simply obey.
Re: dating culture
Brother.... If in Future Thinking For Marriage... Then Its Not Bad... Because Couple Should Know Each Other Minds... But If Taking Just For Fun Then Its Bad And Very Bad....