Fact of the matter is, you can NEVER know someone whether you dated them, or it was arranged for you to be with them.
My first nikah, was arranged by my family, and the guy turned out to be philanderer. Soon after I was asked by a roommate why I would go through another arranged marriage given the experience that I had with it. Another roommate replied, what’s the common theme in kobe’s wife, tiger’s wife, clinton’s wife, sanford’s wife? they all dated for YEARS prior to their marriage, each of their hubbies turned out to be cheaters. People can date for years, even be married for years, and it turns out in the end that the grapes of their futures were unfortunately sour, and they end up in a divorce, or live miserably with each other.
We cannot predict the future, no matter how much we think we know, or not know, about another person. Hence, why Desi mothers like to say, “Marriage is a gamble,” and Americans like to say, “for better or for worse”
So why do we go through arranged marriage, if it’s all the same in the end? Simply because Allah swt liked it that way better and as servants of Allah, we simply obey.