Okay so this issue is bothering me quiet a bit as i am not sure how to deal with this! My cousin is getting married and her mom is expecting everyone (all cousins) to practice and dance at the mehndi.. I don’t have a problem with this but the mehndi is for men and women so I am a bit uncomfortable with dancing in this setting… The problem is she is constantly reminding me that I need to do a dance and I am ignoring it for now but would like to nicely somehow explain her that I am not comfortable with this anymore as I am a mother now and I feel differently about dancing infront of non-mehram men.
Any ideas how to tackle this situation nicely without having to go towards crucial confrontations??
i know how you feel, i dont know why some people think dancing at mehndis is so important and if you dont do it you're betraying the bride/groom in some way! personally i hate dancing at these things now, because even if they let the guys out, videos are made, pictures are taken, and the professional video editor is usuallya guy so it's not as private as you'd think...
but i have friends who get super pissed when i say i dont want to dance at their mehndis, it reallyyyy bugs me, and ive seen girls being forced to dance because of the pressure put on them, i feel so bad for them because they dont take a stand...
honestly just say the truth: I dont wanna dance in front of guys.. as a muslim woman she should respect that, but some bridezillas care more abt the wedding and less abt islam
Just tell her how u feel. U wont be dancing if the men are around, so why prolong this issue. Tell her how u feel abt it.
dont wait til the last minute.
well u just ask ur hubby of it if he agrees then its okay but if u urself feel uncomfortalbe then just let it and tell ur aunty that u dont want 2 dance i think she will understand u. and dancing infront non-mehran ppl is also not good qauz who knows ppl are watching ur dancing and enjoying something else...
Are you willing to do a dandiya dance? That was the compromise we came to when this issue came up amongst friends and family. And big group dandiya dances can look amaaaazing!
Are you willing to do a dandiya dance? That was the compromise we came to when this issue came up amongst friends and family. And big group dandiya dances can look amaaaazing!
i think it all abt how u move int he dancing is dosn't mater if u do bollywood dandiya etc. dances
yeah it fun to dance with a lot family memebrs and friends i myself agree with that but if some body in uncomfortable in it then leave it
the problem is that I am comfortable getting up and mixing in and dancing as a big group I am just not up for dancing on a single dance infront of everyone.. that's beyond my comfort zone now.. I have nicely try to say to her "we'll see" with a smile and anyone smart enough would understand.. i guess I am trying to avoid having to give her a straight answer because I know it's going to cause a huge deal with them and my family..The thing that gets to me is that noone of these girls showed up to my mehndi.. but they expect me to get out of my comfort zone and dance..ahhh!!
i would be straight up and tell her. i dont do solo dances and dont dance when men are there. And I tell my cousins/friends that before we even start practicing. At the end of the day, you should do what you feel comfortable in doing, and they should respect that.
Don't wait until the last minute for her to throw a hissy fit and become a drama queen and you'll end up looking like the bad cousin.
OMG! So much pressure to dance at mehndis nowadays just not fair considering we are all Muslim!
I have nothing against those that do but why is it that if you decide not to its such a big deal!
I hate the idea of putting on a dance 'show' for spectators - dancing on a dance floor with everyone is different but i hate the idea of dancing for others entertainment :(
Turn off the professional video camera when girls were dancing, we made a video with our private camera, sent the movie wala to eat dinner :p
No solo dances, they were all in groups with decent halkay phulkay steps, no jhatkay matkay, etc.
P.S. There was no coordinated dancing on my mehndi (the guys danced when I was brought in and that was it)..... my dad strictly disapproves of dances, he relented a bit on my sister's wedding so we were extra careful with what we did :)
my friend just got married and all of us made and practiced a couple of dances..however..we told the bride's family before hand that we will not dance in front of men..so when it was time for us to dance...the men just walked outside and chilled while we danced...the groom was there however
I find it wierd that she wants you to do one on your own as I don't think I've ever seen a performance that looks good with just one person, the more people in the group the better it looks.
My cousins wedding is coming up and I don't mind dancing as a group its just that my cousins wanted us to do a dance with non-mehram guys and thats what irked me. It's like they didn't understand that I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that!
OMG! So much pressure to dance at mehndis nowadays just not fair considering we are all Muslim!
I have nothing against those that do but why is it that if you decide not to its such a big deal!
I hate the idea of putting on a dance 'show' for spectators - dancing on a dance floor with everyone is different but i hate the idea of dancing for others entertainment :(
My thought exactly. I don't comfortable having men look at me while I am doing a dance.. because it just gives me a weird feeling now. I think what I am going to do is do a dance on the dholki which is women's only and hopefully that will satisfy everyone.
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i would be straight up and tell her. i dont do solo dances and dont dance when men are there. And I tell my cousins/friends that before we even start practicing. At the end of the day, you should do what you feel comfortable in doing, and they should respect that.
Don't wait until the last minute for her to throw a hissy fit and become a drama queen and you'll end up looking like the bad cousin.
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I agree with that!
Coolgirl you said that you are happy to dance in a group and that should be enough. Your cousin is being unreasonable. Just tell her the truth, hopefully she will understand.
Cool Girl u must speak to your aunty about this and tell her how u feel, the sooner the better. So atleast she'll understand and won't pester you on the day.
I personally am a little shy when it comes to dancing, that's why i can never do a solo dance or even with another girl. It has to be a group atleast of 4 or 5 dancing together.
So try and arrange a group dance performance with 3 or 4 girls that way you'll feel a little comfortable and all eyes won't be on just you but on the whole group.
the problem is that I am comfortable getting up and mixing in and dancing as a big group I am just not up for dancing on a single dance infront of everyone.. that's beyond my comfort zone now.. I have nicely try to say to her "we'll see" with a smile and anyone smart enough would understand.. i guess I am trying to avoid having to give her a straight answer because I know it's going to cause a huge deal with them and my family..The thing that gets to me is that noone of these girls showed up to my mehndi.. but they expect me to get out of my comfort zone and dance..ahhh!!
okay then u dont go and dance there
if these girls weren't enjoying on ur mehndi and it doesnT' mean u should be the playdoll there
so..!
u knoe even one of my cousin weren't enjoying my weddign at all she was sittign there with a big face so when i went 2 her wedding i did the same...