Also, if your parent's happiness lies into this, let them decide! Sharai or not.. it's their call...you can do it for your daughter :-p
just make sure you get your message across for monh dikhaye ;)
There is really no such amount as a "sharia haq mahr". The amount can and should be enough to ensure the protection of the woman. No woman should waive this right to ensure her parents' happiness. This is her financial security in the event of divorce, or early widowhood. The amount should be large enough to make sure that she can live comfortably for a time without being dependent on anyone else, should she be divorced, or should her husband die. It is protection for woman that Allah has ordained.
The custom in Pakistan of paying a very small amount, or the woman forgiving the mahr defeats the intended purpose of mahr - but then again, we wouldn't want women to have the prospect of independence, would we?
^ And if you tell them to educate their daughters or let them be financially independent, in case of widowhood or divorce they shake their heads and say “Nahi Allah betar karay ga [Allah will make things better].”
Anyway my point was: parents will often forego education in favor of marriage, and if you tell them abt widowhood and divorce, they'll say "no Allah betar karay ga", meaning Allah will make things easy for them; and yet, by waiving haq mehr, they totally ignore the the reason haq meher is there, which is to protect the woman.
^ Because, they're basically taking away every avenue through which she can help herself (education, financial indepndence) in case of widow/divorcehood , and making her totally dependent. Allah HAS made things easy,with the concept of haq mehr, but people choose to ignore that. I don't believe that Allah will help you if you do absolutely NOTHING to help yourself :o
^ why wuold the relatives help her if she's divorced (i.e., shes not part of their family anymore)? And there are more relatives who will treat the widow like ****, kick her out of the house, take her stuff etc etc
In divorce, she always has her own family, and when shes a widow, has kids or has been in the family for long there wud be a family-type bond between her in-laws, if not she always has her own family.
But I doubt a woman wud want to stay with her in-laws if she gets a divorce or even if she is a widow.
