Re: Damn backwardness…
he just talks to me about these things and everything…I dont think its wrong..
Re: Damn backwardness…
No, not talking to ur fiance (another topic :halo: )but about the wedding in midst of elders
Re: Damn backwardness…
I havent really talked to elders about mahr etc…but i dont think its seen as anything bad..
Re: Damn backwardness...
during my sisters wedding and before, they would stay up all night talking about this stuff, and that including aunts, cousins, & my mom.
Re: Damn backwardness...
...
Re: Damn backwardness...
thank god we dont have this dumb tradition in our family.
Re: Damn backwardness…
Grrrr 
Re: Damn backwardness...
I won't reject/waive mehr. Anyway, I haven't really seen people do what you are talking about Sara.
Re: Damn backwardness...
Dont forget that was in arranged marriage set up in pak:)
Re: Damn backwardness...
meaning?
Re: Damn backwardness...
dunno........it just works there, dumb or whatever without forcing ......girls leave to parents
Re: Damn backwardness...
all my brothers and sisters got married in Pakistan and it was nothing like that. ive been to many weddings in pak and its not been like that.
Re: Damn backwardness...
I know.........You are right its very very rare
Re: Damn backwardness...
me too ............hardly seen this beacuse all brides gets their maher.....
Re: Damn backwardness...
don't quote me on this, but hopefully someone can back me up
i remember a lecture from our imam stating that besides all the other stuff and whatever the families decide, on the traditions of Rasulullah (S) there should be a private exchange just between the man and his wife on their wedding night that no one is else privy to where he gives her mehr on his own...i think what he gave was equivelent to todays like $250. Like it's really just a gift from husband to wife without the families getting all up in the details.
of course the way the imam told the story, it sounded Rasulullah's gesture sounded much sweeter than i can convey in my own words
Re: Damn backwardness…
^ Yeah that does sound very sweet.. umm isnt’ that kinda similar to the “moonh dikhai” rasam where the guy gives her a gift on the wedding night or somethin ? 
Re: Damn backwardness...
sorry sara i don't know about the rasam
all i know is that when i heard that story i was like awww b/c in our culture of FAMILY in everything, i thought it was sweet that this was something just between the husband and wife :)
Re: Damn backwardness...
OMG! me and my dad were discussing this yesterday!!!! LoL I will be back with a reply though
Re: Damn backwardness…
Lol tell me the details barfee 
Re: Damn backwardness…
Haq Mehr is the brides right and She determines it, also it is the pre-neptual agreement in Islamic Marraiges.
The tradition as I know it from Pakistan is that, say between the Bride and her Fiance they feel it is appropriate sum to ask for instance $10,000/- more or less.
Half $5000/- is due before the Rukhsati and this the bride can waive, the second half is due in case the Husband wants a divorce he owes it to the wife.
Many have asked more, the recommended amount in tradition is 120 silver coins.
*If you get married in US, community property States you split all assets in half, including the Silver 
unles there is a pre-neptual agreement.
*
**
Nothing backward about this, it is just now becoming popular in the USA,
***The pre-Neptual agreement, all celebreties do it:halo: ***