Re: Dad & Khala
This.
OP…you sound like a very level headed and mature girl. Picking up after your mom’s passing like this and trying to keep your family together. But part of being mature is swallowing things. Kids don’t have to swallow difficult scenarios - adults do.
My suggestion is:
Since you’re all grown up now or mostly at least - let your dad do what he wants, however he wants. Give him your consent - not because you really agree but because you want to keep harmony within the family.
My mami died at 35 from breast cancer leaving behind 3 kids - the youngest wasnt even walking yet. My mamu remarried within 3 months to his deceased wife’s first cousin. It was hard for us to accept her in that role but even harder on him and his family without a female figure in their home.
Imagine being married to someone for the best years of your life, planning on growing old with them and then it doesn’t happen. Your dad wants someone to be with again at any cost. It may be selfish but its human nature.
This will be one hard pill to swallow but you must do it because your family’s well being is at stake. You’re not majboor, you don’t depend on anyone…so don’t be afraid of your khala. She is there to take care of your father. Let her be his companion.
Someone once said that when people get old, they behave like kids. Your dad isn’t old but he is getting older and also just lost his wife. He is reacting…he feels empty, lost, etc. No one will be able to replace your mom in his life - trust me. Its just not possible. Your khala will realize that too. But they both need someone, have found each other and that’s what will have to be accepted.
You worry about your family, your future and what you need to do keep the peace in your house.