That may be true, but AFAIK even if he wanted to spend more time with Ayesha, he used to ask permission from his other wives first. Otherwise normally his days were divided among his wives equally to the best of my knowledge.
What are you suggesting ?? that its ok for a guy to simply abandon his one of this wives for another one ? NO if a guy is meant to marry more than one woman, he HAS to keep a balance.
Bye the way, if you wanna know why multiple marriages are allowed in Islam, Dr Zakir Naik gives an amazing explanation (youtube).
I would move away from this neighborhood - far far far away! and ASAP.
There are few times that you mention -that now they live happily - but HOW? THERE IS NO WAY!
If the hubby is already comparing big boobs to little and making the first wife feel uncomfortable OR if there is a lot of cuddling of ONE wife in FRONT of the OTHER - I mean how can someone NOT feel anything?
I am OUTRAGED that both wife are in the same house - upstairs/downstairs situation!!! WOWWWWWWWW So how does a wife go about making daily dinner/breakfast/lunch? Does she just make t and HOPE AND PRAY that THE GOD would DECIDE to eat at her place? I mean WHAT NON SENSE!
I am absolutely HORRIFIED at this situation. I do not WANT to understand this type of psychology of people in this neighborhood.
So EVERYDAY the woman has to WAIT and SEE where the hubby might decide to go? Or if the hubby is not with her then just assume he is upstairs / downstairs? How terrible !
I would like to chop off the man and make him look more like a woman! I think then ALL can look alike and therefore LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER!
I mean now, the hubby just does not have the tool needed to make you way off jealous! Now YOU have the OPTION to go find a better tool lolllll
chop chop chop - ye that works very well! Never underestimate the power of FEELINGS with hubby when he LOOKS ALIKE downstairs in situations such CHEAP
**
is that all there is to a marriage. i live in the west as most of us on this forum do, don't we know for a fact that men here [so called one man/one woman society] too have multiple "sleep" partners. Why is it all of a sudden so horrible when a muslim has multiple wives, which is allowed in their religion and that gives all the wives equal rights, and its so cool if a white man has more than four, which their religion doesn't allow...what a hypocrisy!!!**
It's got nothing to do with being Muslim. It's got EVERYTHING to do with MORALS.
Even in the west, people with multiple "sleep" partners are considered "scumbag". It's NOT accepted in the West either!
The character of a person shows what type of morals he's got. If he is NOT married and has "multiple sleep partner" - then that's a WHOLE new situation. A girl has her OPTIONS to leave or "agree" to live with the situation. There are NO strings attached.
However, if we are talking about marriage, then East or West, they both have a LOT of emotional baggage, and the woman does NOT have as simple of an option to "leave" as it may sound.
Even in WEST, MORALS ARE MORALS - regardless of how open the society is about having multiple partners before marriage. It simply is not accepted after marriage.
^ i understand what you mean and i too dont understand how these women live like this. but their husbands will say that islam allows them and also this is really common in pakistan. where i was staying in khi there was also a husband living with 2 wives on the same floor as us.
lol @ moving away from the neighbourhood! neighbourhood is really nice alhamdolilah and so are the people. lol. its their business what they decide to do really.
when i say they live happily, i think it is because some wives dont have a choice at the end of the day. so they just put up with reality and accept it. not everyone has the money or passport to simply run off and some people’s parents wont accept the 1st wife back if she asks for a divorce either!
i know islam allows multiple marriages and i understand the reasons why too…but i cant accept it to be honest.
like i said i would like to see how a husband would feel if it were allowed to have more than 1 husband for a wife!!!
Living with them both in the same house is haram, kinda hypocritical considering the usual justification for a man doing the polygyny thing is cos it's halal.
I would never share my husband, if he feels like he's fallen in love with someone else he's free to marry her but I wouldn't stick around. I'd rather split up and then remarry someone else who would be around 100% of the time to love me and help bring up the kids. I find it weird that us Muslims always emphasise how a kid needs two parents but then say if a man spends half (or less) time living at home leaving the wife to struggle that is somehow ok? What would happen when my kids are getting into trouble in their teenage yrs and hubby is not even there half the time? Am I meant to discipline them on my own and expect them to just fall into line?
I know of one family where the husband took a second wife from 'back home' then brought her over to live here in another house. Out of 4 kids (teenage and twenties) all have disowned him except one. They can't forgive him for making their mother so unhappy and also not being around for them. Can't say I blame them either.
I know the setup does work fine sometimes (usually only when first wife and family are consulted about husband's intentions, some wives even encourage their husbands to remarry) but more often than not it seems to end in tears and in Saudi Arabia where it's far more common the very rich often 'change' their 4th wife every few yrs for a newer model with often no thought of maintaining contact with the children. It's really messed up.
4:3 And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice].
4:4 And give the women [upon marriage] their [bridal] gifts graciously. But if they give up willingly to you anything of it, then take it in satisfaction and ease.
4:129 And you will never be able to be equal [in feeling] between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. So do not incline completely [toward one] and leave another hanging. And if you amend [your affairs] and fear Allah – then indeed, Allah is ever Forgiving and Merciful.
Thats so ture with me also …although many people would think it as wrong or perverted but thats me I wouldn’t be able to help it but to think how my husband can be romantic with anyone else ! Just too much to bear for me …:no:
If my husband ever take this step , either I leave the house or I’ll kick him out.
Men who do such acts mostly end up having kids who hates them esp kids from 1st wife they are never able to love their dads bcuz their dad gave their mum so much pain. Things don’t last forever and everyone times changes , all of us need someone in our lives , esp when we grow old and kids usually pull themselves out of life of such a dad who brought a sotan to their mom. I have seen that in many families.
My cousin's husband had secretly been married to another woman before he married her. She found out about it a few months after her marriage. They have never met though, and absolutely don't get along...as in she cannot even bear to hear her name mentioned. Oddly enough, all the ladies in the family keep telling her to accept the situation and be happy etc. If I were in her place, I would simply have left the husband...after giving him a sound beating.
Well the first wife had been living with her own parents, hence they never met. My cousin was living with her susraal. but when they said they will bring the first wife home, she left them and is at her parent's place now. It's a mess!
She found out because people talk..aparently a lot of people where he lived and worked had found out about it. And also her mother in law bragged about it to her. To snub her down I suspect.
I think then ALL can look alike and therefore LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER!
