Cultural issue?

Arts & Culture Culture, Arts, Literature & Linguistics
1

I am having a hard time understanding a concept that is one of the most major ones in our culture.

Why is it that women even living in USA accept abuse from their husbands. I mean lets put aside physical abuse for a sec. I am talking about mental torture, which is worst than physical one.

I have seen several cases where women are being cursed, abused and totured by their ‘mijaaz-e-khudas’ and all those fancy words that some men like to use.

I mean i have seen them sitting in front of Mulana sahib and telling him how their husbands treats her, in front of in-laws, siblings etc… Why is it when it comes down to take some sort action they get panic attacks and all that hidden love for their husbands comes out like a huge wave.

Islam doesnt allow abuse its a sin if you are being abused and doing nothing about it.

I definately dont blame the poor souls of men here i blame freakin jack asses women here. You bunch of losers get up and do something IDIOTS.

go a head with discussion guys… is this thing cultural or my islamic books were wrong

Our culture has taken over our religion?

2

yes culture has definitely taken over the importance of Islam, our people tend to give culture a higher status and evrything is about “izzat” which makes me so:mad:

however i think the issue which you have discussed is not culture specific, although this is tru of asian/muslim women this is also true of non muslims too.

but you see the thing with muslims is they simply forget about what Islam says and just think about what people will say when they get divorced or simply what people will say when it is common knowledge that there “husband” is a wife beater. in many cases it is the parents putting pressure on the daughter to stay. but it is important to remember that this cannot be generalised to the wider community.

May Allah guide us all to the straight path.

3

i dont think its islamic.. its more cultural..
for women who put up with all this crap is because in our society.. especially in pakistan, its better than being divorce.. which is more abusive than the current abuse..stupid log jeena haram kar daitay hai aisee khawateen ka.
waisay if they r abroad then i think its their fear of what will they do after their husbands leave them, most of them r house wives and never worked their whole life, they r raised to be submissive to their husbands. and ofcourse their lack of knowledge about their rights n stuff.

4

I don't think 'blame' is the right word to use when you are talking about abuse etc..
Illiterate and literate women should be educated about their islamic and legal rights.
We've made the society a 'god', and seem to be answerable to 'loag' for our private matters.
wot crap!

5

Yes nia it is sad

in Islam physical abuse is NOT allowed

my friend was telling me about the example of a prophet who, when his wife committed a huge mistake, was told to take a very thin stick [a TINKA - u know jharoo k jo TINKAY hotay haen] and tap her slightly with that...

Physically abusing a weak aurat is very disgusting. Its sadly a part of our culture though and not uncommon. I have seen it happen in so many families. physically abusing kya, ppl throw acid, push women into stoves and what not. and not just in the poor families but in the elitest n so called respectable families too.

Yah sometimes ppl cross their limits in anger n mistakes happen but there r ppl who everyday beat their wives and that is what is not acceptable. its DISGUSTING.

there are poor women i have seen with my own eyes jo ghar ka kharcha bhee poora uthaTi haen, bachon kee parwarish bhee wohi kerti haen, and the guy just sits at home, and then when they go home after a hard day's work he beats them....and this happens on a regular basis...

the women are not weak women...these women are very strong women and are very capable of living by themselves and facing society....

in ki khamoshi in ki kamzori naheen hae...

aurat kee sab se bari kamzori us kay BACHAY hotay hayn jin kee khaatir woh sab kuch bardaasht kerne k lyay tayyar ho jati hae...such women r not kamzor...i have the highest respect in my hearts for these women....they r SACRIFICING conciously for the sake of their kids....

they say k baap jaisa bhee ho baap hota hay. bachon ka toh baap hi hota hae na woh banda....the poor woman for the sake of keeping the family together and for her kids what else does she do? she just gets indifferent to the beatings n the pain....the women just grow immune to it, shed silent tears but ONLY for the sake of their KIDS woh jhelti rehti haen takay un k bachon k sar pe baap ka saya kayim rahay...

in maaon ki mamta ko salam. they make the ultimate sacrifice for their kids.

the women r NOT at fault here nia.

and yara POOR SOULS of men? NO WAY!

nah yara. not all men r bad but there r men who are the transgressors. they take advantage of being more physically powerful.

Laynnn se khara ker k daadi chitrol honi chahiyay saaron ki in public.

Benazir prime minister bani lekin aurton k lyay KAKH naheen kya. kamazkam aisay mardon ko hi sabaq sikha sakti thee. kuch toh bhala ker deti aurton ka mullak kii.

the worst thing tho is aurtein bhee aurton kee dushman haen na. saas betay ko bahu k khilaaf bharkaati hae bohot saray cases mein, specially in poor families for stupid things like jahez.

The holy Prophet (saw) has said that the best among u is he who treats his wife with kindness.

6

As far as pakistan is concerened, this is an effect of Hindu Culture and practices...

7

^ Holy Smokes… Religious police in full effect. :hehe: Maybe it is Islam.

SPousal abuse has nothing to do with religion or a particular culture. It is a scourge that plagues the chinese, indians, Pakis, Russians, martians… In NYC there is a NGO called SAKHI that helps south Asian women who are inflicted with such violence take legal measures along with providing counseling. Most of the sufferers are from Pak, Bangladesh…what does that tell about religion.

8

haaN haaN, Hindus even have that 'satee kee rasam' in which they burn a widow woman alive. Tauba Tauba.

9

YEah..Roman…it is so common place that it is ingrained in our culture. I must find out why my mom, a widow didn’t follow through on such a widely practiced “hindu” ritual. Go read some books… instead of smoking hash with the pathans. :rolleyes:

you ar eitiching for a conversio..let me help you.

10

Let me guess, your mom was not in India at the time of your father's unfortunate death. Thank God! I'm happy for you and your family.

11

Yeah..thankgod otherwise according to you it would be a pyre made for two. I must ask my widowed aunts in INdia, where they went wrong.

12

As if burning alive women was not enough, they also made widow women wear those white clothes for the rest of their lives so that no one would marry them again and they'd be treated like achhoots.

13

“Made them”? I must also tell this ditty to my relatives. Sounds incredibly insightful. Burkhas are so liberating..aren;t they!! :hehe:

14

Matty, jokes aside, but don't the widows only wear white in India.

15

^ no

16

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Matsui: *
Most of the sufferers are from Pak, Bangladesh...what does that tell about religion.
[/QUOTE]
it tells about that the bad effect of hindu philosophy of married life is still effective in pak, bangla culture:)

17

Matsui, don't lie. Don't they punish women with 80 lashes in India upon the death of her husband too?

18

There are always gray areas in relationships where its hard to define abuse in clear sense.. question here seems to be zero tolerance or limit at which one should think of getting a divorce.. and what about women saying things which men absorb! there is always 2 way traffic .. women I have seen being more sensitive makes small matters in big things.. but constant verbal or physical abuse is inhuman and should not be tolerated as it could result in permanent mental and physical consequesnces but we should be careful to rare utterances taken out of context .. I have seen almost equal no of men and women verbally abusing each other..

19

In a male dominated society and impoverished society, abuse generally tends to be high. So the morons on here pointing fingers at hindu influence need to stop blaming others for their own shortcomings. Sposual abuse is a global issue, seen in Africa, south Korea, etc..

20

it came in pakistani culture [the mindset that is (husband being greater than the god as per many ethics of hindu religion)] from hindu religion:)