And "husband is greater" came to arabia on a magic carpet? Maulana ji..you have some reading to do.... :)
He has been given the responsilbilty [qawaam] not "bhagwaan"...
Thank you
:)
Ishwar allah tero naam....sab koh sampati dey bhagwaan. Never heard of this qwaam guy?
its a practice in many cultures and countries yes pakstanis, arabs, greeks, italians.
[quote]
originally posted by nia_khan
Our culture has taken over our religion?
[/quote]
our culture and religion are two distinct bodies of cocepts and practices often mistaken for one another. many cultural practices in our culture are alien to Islamic beliefs. so when some one asks you if so and so is allowed in Islam, please ask him/her if he/she is referring to your culture or your religion, cuz most of the time they mistake our cultural practices for our religion.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Femme Fatale: *
but don't the widows only wear white in India.
[/QUOTE]
Indira Gandhi was a Widow when she became the PM, Never saw her in white, Sonia and Maneka Gandhi are Widows - Hardly see them in white. Too much Bollywood FF ji.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Matsui: *
Ishwar allah tero naam....sab koh sampati dey bhagwaan. Never heard of this qwaam guy?
[/QUOTE]
Matty bhai - it is Sanmati and not Sampati :)
Sanmati - Wisdom, Sampati - Wealth :D
I like sampati yaar…I am a capitalist at heart. Sampati can also bring sanmati. 
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Gadha: *
As far as pakistan is concerened, this is an effect of Hindu Culture and practices...
[/QUOTE]
is Pakistan so weak that it is influenced by HINDU CULTURE AND PRACTICES... what happened to your sense and sensibilities? i thought Pakistanis were a very firm lot... who speak their own mind and stood up for something that they believed in... which begs the question is'nt this contradictory that a whole country be influenced by the culture and practices of a religion that they would love to hate???!!!
Aparna_Dogra: It is kind of sad that Pakistani people tend to dump negative things on Hindu culture. I think women are abused in all cultures by some, its not just a single group.
Physical and mental abuse transcends cultural boundaries. It isn't right at all, as a matter of fact it is downright sinful, but in some cultures it is well-hidden while it is more apparent in other cultures.
I blame both the men and women in these scenarios...men for dishing out the abuse and women for taking it! I mean, misunderstandings, arguments, and minor fights are normal and even healthy in relationships, but constant verbal and/or physical abuse is not to be tolerated at all. People need to be educated on this point.
going back to the original topic. Nia aside from the taboos associated with being a divorcee, in some cases the women put up with it because they are unable to go and support themselves.
In some cases they deal with it for teh sake of their children. Now I think its very debatable whether children are better off if their parents are seperated, divorced or if they grow up in a house where the family life is a mess. I personally know of a lady whose marriage although much better now was at a point that I had advised her to leave her husband, Only thing keeping her was that she did nto want her kids to be treated badly. As you know there are groups in our society that look at a divorced weoman as if she did something wrong and her daughters carry a stigma since they are from a woman who was "not good enough to be a wife"
Pure BS, I know..but these are some reasons that women put up with it
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by moona: *
Physical and mental abuse transcends cultural boundaries. It isn't right at all, as a matter of fact it is downright sinful, but in some cultures it is well-hidden while it is more apparent in other cultures.
I blame both the men and women in these scenarios...men for dishing out the abuse and women for taking it! I mean, misunderstandings, arguments, and minor fights are normal and even healthy in relationships, but constant verbal and/or physical abuse is not to be tolerated at all. People need to be educated on this point.
[/QUOTE]
I agree with you Moona... very well said.
Education ( i don't mean just academic) and proper upbringing are the only two ways to fight abuse... be it physical or mental...
Also its not only women who are always at the recieving end... there are many cases where even men are subject to both physical and mental abuse... so irrespective of the cultures and sex to which you belong to.. enduring abuse is as big a sin as dishing it out.
Re: Cultural issue?
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by nia_khan: *
is this thing cultural or my islamic books were wrong
Our culture has taken over our religion?
[/QUOTE]
Its not culture either nia. Its the nature of man and woman which makes one misbehave and the other to tolerate and vice versa. You will find men who are oppressed in family life similar to those women you are talking about and here these men are timid enough to tolerate it. To a degree I agree with you that women tend to be timid in fighting out all this and this may be due to several social (not cultural) reasons.
Re: Re: Cultural issue?
I agree with you Capricorn :k:
it is believed that the tolerence levels are high in woman, maybe the reason behind this is because a woman does not make any qualms about the fatc that she is ill-treated… so even if there are men who are at the recieving end, they would seldom talk about whatever they are going through because they are compelled to keep up the macho front …
Ofcourse, if you look at the numbers then woman is more often than not subject to abuse than man… but I think, whoever ill-treats his/her spouse/partner is a sick mind… as you rightly mentioned, it boils down to one’s nature.
To curb domestic abuse of either sex there needs to be more open mindedness in the society that we live in … more awareness… only we can change the face of the society, unless we start backing our words with actions, things are only going to go downhill… for both MAN and WOMAN!!!
It's not just the womens fault, sometimes women do open their mouth and try to fight for their rights. But our society condems them. Our society likes women to be silent, always smile no matter what happens. If they do say something, they are condemned for letting family matters 'leak' to the outside community!
Women are always blamed, wether silent or fighting for their rights.
When a woman does something, people say 'why the hell did she do that?' but when she doesn't, they say 'why didn't she?'
Often women in Pakistan have also money issues, like someone also said, children. How do they support their children on their own, while living in Pakistan? Here in Europe when you don't have a job, you get some money to survive from government, but as far as I know, that doesn't excist in Pakistan, or am I wrong? So, a lot of women there just can't survive on their own even when they do try!