Re: Cultural difference in marriage…
It is not about doing it or not doing it.. we have alot of tradional stuff which are not important but it always represent something..
wat does walima represent…
Re: Cultural difference in marriage...
it is the sunnah of our beloved Prophet (SAW) ..
basically it is the wedding reception where you are announcing to the community that the couple is married.
like i mentioned above this is done right after the nikkah.....this can be done the very same day as the nikkah (basically the ruksathi and valima can be combined making it one event) ...paki's just like to make an occassion for every single thing so they do it on a separate day...wheras arabs and ppl from the middle east typically do it in one day.
Re: Cultural difference in marriage...
basically it is the wedding reception where you are announcing to the community that the couple is married.
like i mentioned above this is done right after the nikkah.....this can be done the very same day as the nikkah (basically the ruksathi and valima can be combined making it one event) ...paki's just like to make an occassion for every single thing so they do it on a separate day...wheras arabs and ppl from the middle east typically do it in one day.
Ahan.. Got it...
Re: Cultural difference in marriage...
^shukar hai
Re: Cultural difference in marriage…
Re: Cultural difference in marriage...
If you are looking for the Islamic point of view then the man should pay mahr to the woman, and she doesn't need to bring anything to the marriage. The only ceremonies are the nikkah and walima. The nikkah is the signing of the contract, and the walima is the dinner to celebrate the nikkah.
Re: Cultural difference in marriage...
Yeah Attia you're right, in our (Pashtun) culture it is the man's side who pay for the wedding and give a dowry to the woman, in Indo-Pak culture it's the opposite, I think our way is more Islamic and more gentlemanish.
In my region on the first day the girls side will provide a snack/meal after the Nikaah ceremony to the wedding procession which accompanies the groom to take the bride home and to the local guests, traditionally this was just beverages and sweets but now it is a wide range of snacks including savoury stuff, sometimes it is a full three course meal. I don't know if the money for this comes from the grooms side or the brides (I'll have to check with my parents).
The second day, the Waleemah (wedding reception) is always hosted by the grooms side.
There's other things like Henna nights before the two actual weddings days but they are informal girl-only occasions in our culture.
Re: Cultural difference in marriage…
:k:
I like that, I can’t stomach all that Desi ‘show sha’.
Where my parents come from the two main wedding days are the day of Nikaah when they get married and the girl goes to live with her husband and the second day which is the Waleemah dinner to celebrate by the groom.
There’s a night or two before the Nikaah when the brides girlfriends, sisters, girlcousins, aunties, grandmas and mom will get together and beautify the girl by applying Henna to her hands, oil in her hair, masks on her face and they all have a snack and a dance about but these are informal girl-only events, back when I was little my mama and gran use to take me to these events but I wouldn’t fancy them now, certainly not for myself to be the center of attention, I sometimes watch Punjabi/Urdu weddings on TV and for our Punjabi/Urdu brethren it’s more of a formal mixed event and even the poor bloke gets covered in oil, henna paste, yellow stuff, milk and harrassed by scary looking aunties shovers, all that is for women.
Re: Cultural difference in marriage...
^ I agree. I couldn't even participate in the mehndi events at my SIL and BILs weddings because they were mixed. And aunties who didn't know me well kept pulling up my dupatta to look at my hair during their functions. I mean have some shame - it's there for a reason.
My husband refused to have a mehdni for himself because they just hire the belly dancers and things get out of hand.
Re: Cultural difference in marriage...
Finally someone agreed with me that guy is suppose to pay for all the expenses...
Re: Cultural difference in marriage…
But i still don’t agree with girl paying all the wedding expenses… 
Re: Cultural difference in marriage...
mehr is totally different...that is islamic
jahez is cultural....these 2 things are separate from each other.
the thread starter is specifically referring to the cultural aspect...the jahez.
Re: Cultural difference in marriage...
the valima IS traditionally hosted by the groom side even in indo-pak culture.
paki's chose to have their own ceremony apart from the the nikkah/valima ceremony....which is the ruksathi (hindu tradition)...they made this tradition...so they pay for it....i think thats fair. If they want to stick to religion...then they should just have ONE ceremony like the pashtun culture and since that would be the valima...then yea the guy would pay like he is suppose 2.
Nowadays the trend here is....doing one big thing....nikkah/ruksathi/valima...all in one! so much better i think!
In my region on the first day the girls side will provide a snack/meal after the Nikaah ceremony to the wedding procession which accompanies the groom to take the bride home and to the local guests, traditionally this was just beverages and sweets but now it is a wide range of snacks including savoury stuff, sometimes it is a full three course meal. I don't know if the money for this comes from the grooms side or the brides (I'll have to check with my parents).
The second day, the Waleemah (wedding reception) is always hosted by the grooms side.
There's other things like Henna nights before the two actual weddings days but they are informal girl-only occasions in our culture.