Re: ...Cultural Clash...
i could have stayed and fought, but the thing is, anytime i tried to bring it up, i was always stonewalled and then ignored and then i was expected to apologise! couldn't handle it.
And the jackpot is yours!!!!
Without going much into details, it's the same case here. Parents say to us kids all the times that when something is bothering you or if there is a problem, come talk to us. Sit down with the family and let's find the solution to the problem. Sounds simple and nice, right? Well when I do it, mom simply refuses to open her ears to MY POINT OF VIEW and starts crying and dad simply gets upset and start speaking loud. My problems:
- You asked us to sit down and discuss and that's what I am doing, let's do it in a civil manner and with calm minds.
- If dad can raise his voice, so can I, but I don't because I am supposed to respect parents. Parents should also keep in mind that they should not take advantage of their authority knowing that the child will not yell back. If the child yells back, oh he/she is very batameez and ignorant.
- As you said, desi parents expect KIDS to apologize and "manaa them" even when it's not the children's fault. That bugs the heck out of me because I will not apologize when it's NOT my fault. I know some people can do it, I CAN'T! That does 2 things to me: 1) Discourages me from discussing because in the end, I'll have to apologize. 2) Brings my moral/self-respect down because if dad's getting upset and I have to force myself to keep calm, I can't talk about anything in this situation.
As I said earlier, desi parents (and children) don't try to learn things from each other's perspective until they get separated. What's the point then? It's too late already. One should never burn bridges and should always try to work things out, and it takes BOTH SIDES to sit down in a relaxed environment, calmly discuss, and understand where the other person is coming from.