There was a time that Desis could not think of marrying out their community / bradri (in some communities, its still the same).
With the passage of time, traditions have changed and not only people got married outside their communities, but outside their race and nation. There are inter-sect marriages as well as marriages between people from different religions.
What are the cultural difficulties people face, when they marry in other cultures?
Marriage is not only 2 peoples relation but connection of 2 families.
Couple of my cousins are married to other culture's girls, and they are happy so far, at weddings we did all our rasams and they did theirs.it was fun though.
But desi marrying to a gora/gori is bit different, and I would love to hear what people have to say about this.
Marriage is not only 2 peoples relation but connection of 2 families.
Couple of my cousins are married to other culture's girls, and they are happy so far, at weddings we did all our rasams and they did theirs.it was fun though.
But desi marrying to a gora/gori is bit different, and I would love to hear what people have to say about this.
People still afraid of their children getting married to Gora / Gori. Overseas don't want to return back, but if they have daughters, they prefer it have Desi in-laws and if proper choice not found in the country they live, they travel back to their homeland
Well marriage between two different cultures, like goras and desis are still frowned upon, and rightly so as there are a lot of differences in the cultures and in most cases the result is not ideal. Leaving that aside within the country, marriage in other sects, ethnicities, heck even out of the baradri is not approved. At least within the country some things are changing for the better which is more important.
only if their daughters are happy with parents choice,and do you think it would be a good idea to get marry with someone back home you never met or seen before?( ok that's a different topic )
Not only in west but in Pakistan its very hard to find rishtas now a days and I think that's the only reason people are getting married out side of their culture.
My mom said it was a big deal 20/25 years ago to get married out side of your family, even if a girl was 7/8 years older than boy parents will marry them off,coz they don't want their daughter to go out side of khandan.
^ I know, I have seen the marriages in my family between different sects, and in some cases even in other ethnicities like Urdu speaking and punjabis. I think it's the responsibility of the parents to marry off their kids with the appropriate matches, if they don't find someone in the baradari then outside. It's still very difficult especially to marry syed girls out of the family into non syeds.
^ I know, I have seen the marriages in my family between different sects, and in some cases even in other ethnicities like Urdu speaking and punjabis. I think it's the responsibility of the parents to marry off their kids with the appropriate matches, if they don't find someone in the baradari then outside. It's still very difficult especially to marry syed girls out of the family into non syeds.
My parents are cousins but practice different sect, they never try to teach us what their sect say, but they only teach us what islam say and what our Beloved Prophet SAWW message was,so we grew up learning Islam,not sects.
If everyone understand This, I'm sure 70% rishta problems will be solved.
It's sad to see many of my friends were rejected because of sect difference.
^ Yes, many girls are not getting married as the parents cannot find appropriate rishtas within the family or some very odd rishtas with a very educated girl married off to some uneducated guy on the pretext of keeping it within the family. I think intelligent parents are those who find appropriate rishtas and opening up their options.
Some narrow minded parents make lives difficult for their kids:
1) Larki Gori honi chaahiyay
2) Khubsoorat honi chaahiyay
3) PaRhi likhi honi chaahiyay
4) Modern ya mazhabi honi chaahiyay
5) Nature ki achi honi chaahiyay
6) baradari ki honi chaahiyay
7) SughaR honi chaahiyay
Same is the case in the opposite direction.
Now this really narrows the search, and its difficult to find all qualities in one girl hence the problems that we are having.
only if their daughters are happy with parents choice,and do you think it would be a good idea to get marry with someone back home you never met or seen before?( ok that's a different topic )
Not only in west but in Pakistan its very hard to find rishtas now a days and I think that's the only reason people are getting married out side of their culture.
My mom said it was a big deal 20/25 years ago to get married out side of your family, even if a girl was 7/8 years older than boy parents will marry them off,coz they don't want their daughter to go out side of khandan.
My phuppi got married in another caste 30 years back. It was very difficult for my grandparents to take decision, because before that no girl was married in their bradri in other caste.
As far as the question of daughter's consent (brought up in west) is concerned, yes now it seems odd that she could say yes for a person she never met, but in past overseas Pakistanis got their daughters married to guys back home, girls never met. Many people got into such marriages for getting green card, etc
So you will marry a gori, knowing that she can’t speak Urdu, don’t know Anything about our culture,so you think it’s ok if she is Muslim and culture/ language is not a problem?
So you will marry a gori, knowing that she can't speak Urdu, don't know Anything about our culture,so you think it's ok if she is Muslim and culture/ language is not a problem?
Although thats not a problem, but having said that, marriage within the same culture is easier to maintain as both parties are more comfortable in adapting which might be difficult in contrasting cultures like desis plus goras.