is it really our place to be criticizing someone for their dress? i saw a friend yesterday who was in tears because she recently ordered her bridal from umar sayeed and made the mistake of telling some people, including aunties, who haven’t stopped asking her what’s the need to get a designer place and to spend so much on a dress. it was sad to see her like that, i know how much it means to her and it’s sad to see people ruin it for her.
there are two things i have noticed people saying very commonly around:
your dress is SO common (i.e, a few of amna kardar and karma ones). get something ‘different’ if you’re gonna pay that much. i think what matters is that you love what you’re choosing, no? rather than how many brides have worn it before you?
the price that one pays for a designer.
i think a girl should never tell anyone the pricetag of her wedding dress, haha- people will always start criticizing. it’s too much, it’s too expensive, it’s this, it’s that, comparisons with their dress or someone else’s whos was cheaper, and the best one ‘it’s just for ONE day’- totally kills the happiness and joy that goes along with wearing something special. it may be for one day but isn’t that one of the most special days of your life? for many it surely is. and just because you have killer bargaining skills or know so and so who’s got connection with that big designer in pakistan and got you a discount doesn’t mean you start telling everyone off for buying their dress at a higher price.
everyone’s taste and budget is different and it’s pretty sad when someone makes cheeky or silly remarks like that. it’s someone’s wedding, why can’t people just lay off for once and not say anything instead of being all snippy. noone’s telling you to pay for that hsy or karma or whichever designer it is, why does it matter? im guilty of it too when i would see that big price tag but then i realized that why does it matter to me? maybe this is one part of their wedding they want to splurge on and maybe this is what makes them happy?
just a random thought this morning after whatever i saw/heard yesterday.
i had the same kind of reaction for my engagement dress … people in pakistan LOVE to ask about the price! i did feel a little bad about it when my grandmother was like it’s not enough work on the dress for that money … but i was like whatever … i wouldnt have exchanged it for any other dress … and the amount of time i had to get the dress … i couldnt have gotten a replica done anyways … so yea …
but what did broke me to tears was that when i brought the dress home and tried it on, my own mother started criticizing about the size of the neck and this and that before even saying two words of compliment … lol … oh that was a bad night … hahahahahah … but she had to pay for ruining my moment with ten thousand hugs …
I agree with you pareezay. I am working very hard for my wedding...and want anything and everything that i can afford. i dont want a beautiful dress to show off to others but want it as a gift to self. i would hate for ppl to say ...oh she could have gotten something much heavier for that price or its not all that.
Ppl really do need to mind their own business and i think i will take ur advise and not tell every one the price for my bridal.
but what do you do if someone asks for the price? it's such an awkward moment ... i feel my face warming up and then i give an awkward tiny laugh, releasing the price in a squeaky voice :S
yes, it's ultimately about the marriage, we all know it. however, that's not what's being discussed here. im talking about one of the MANY aspects of a wedding, not marriage or the bigger picture. and im specifically talking about brides whos wedding dresses ARE very important to them. i know for many it doesn't matter and that's fine too, however, that's not what this is about.
Yes it's all about the actual marriage and not just the wedding day, but if a girl can afford and wants to spend $10,000 on a wedding dress, who are we to say anything to her? As long as no one is starving because of that dress, people need to get over it. Not only that, but even if people are starving because of that dress, only her immediate family is aloud to tell her what to do, not the stupid aunites who like to butt into every brides business.
We all have the right to judge, but we don't have the right to do judgment outloud, and ruin someones dream wedding!!
would it help to say a much lesser price when people ask? I guess I only would tell my closest, CLOSEST friends if it was a designer dress.....people like coming with akward remarks....and to be honest I think sometimes it's because of jealousy....nothing can keep people happy....if a bride is really happy about her wedding, then others will try their best to put some doubts into her head and make her unhappy...and if it's a simple cheap dress then people start criticizing her totally by saying "oh, look at that cheepo, couldn't wear anything decent at all even if its her wedding" People TALK, TALK and TALK!!!! The only thing I would suggest is to be cool about everything...what comes in from one ear goes out from the other ear...but still we are humans afterall and can't take too much of people talking crap 'cuz it does hurt
and I forgot to mention those aunties who love mixing divine scripture and all that when saying something bad to a bride...."uhhh you spending sooo much money?? It's haram!" Common, give me a break!
I think when u are buying a designer dress which is expensive to many people and you do get all sort of remarks, you have to be confident enough to let the negative once pass away without bringing u down in tears. What difference does it make if ur khala, chachi and god knows which auntie thinks u are just spending sooo much.. At the end of the day, its ur wallet.
The whole thing abt not telling the price .. well works for some and wont work for some .. if u dont tell it will be assumed that its cheap and then the talks will go from there .. Problem with desi people is they dont see the quality of the kapra/kaam, they only see the price and if u hide the price, well then it must be cheap and cheap is equal to stingy and well ..u see the drama starts all over .. ;) .. the blessings of being desi!
The only person who knew all the numbers during my wedding planning was my mother, and my wedding planners. I never discussed price tags, locations, anything that would allow the other person to calculate and judge. But on the other hand, before spending anything over $2000 on one item, i would always ask a third person, in confidence, their honest opinion. Usually during weddings, we have the tendency to spend money on everything our heart sets on...so it is wise to get honest opinions from people/person who you trust. There are always better options, wiser options/alternatives to get to your goal etc....if we didnt explore them, our OCD (which typically heightens during wedding planning) can do more harm than good at the end of the day. After a very sour experience with a friend who was getting married last year.....I further refrained to give my suggestions based on my personal experience because the bride displayed hostility...even though her planner told her the same thing.
It doesnt make any sense at all to tell someone that their dress was too expensive, unless perhaps you are their accountant and know EXACTLY what their finances are like! Because everyone's budget is totally different. For one girl, it can be a huge huge deal to spend $1,000 on a dress for another girl spending $10,000 is mere peanuts. We dont go around asking people how much they earn in a year or how much they have stashed up in their savings, so why do we ask people how much they spend on a dress? Its different if you are asking for honest reasons, maybe you are also looking for something similar and want to know if you can afford it or not, etc, but just asking for the sake of asking and then criticizing just because YOU dont think its a good price ---ouuf! Keep your opinions to yourself unless you are asked to share them!
agree with chanda. i didn't and still haven't shared the details of how much or how little and what or where i spent it on with the exception of my immediate family because thats my choice.
also, most ppl are asking how much how much how much coz they are nosy and that's all.
for example, i've never even put up pix of my dress here, and even then i get ppl asking how much i paid. lol. why does anyone care?
its a tiny bit different if someone is asking because they genuinely want to know if it they can fit a certain something in their budget.
