So last spring a guy contacted me on a dating site and just by his pictures I could tell he was the kid in the 5th grade class that would not sit in his seat.
Khair told myself stop being a snob and just be nice. Contacted me back and forth once every few days then every few weeks then around October he was calling more often as drama was increasing in my work life.
It was nice just talking to someone.
So mind you I don’t see this going anywhere, more like a friend that calls every few days.
Then I meet up with him a few weeks ago as I was visiting for business and didn’t want to eat dinner alone.
So we meet up. He is a thorough gentleman but I can tell that he has had a trouble making past. Just by body language and his way of talking. But then I figure, maybe that’s the accent in DC.
Ok fine. So moving on. I decide to google his arse this morning, didn’t do it before cuz I never had feelings for him.
Here I am, first page of google, faced with his mugshot.
The other reason I looked past him before was because
He still drinks
He has a history of getting drunk
He is still working on a masters in mid-30’s barely getting by with a 3.0 gpa NOT because he isn’t smart but because he is lazy (I didn’t feel like turning in a paper)
GOD LORD
I was willing to look past at his mediocre grades -fine not everyone is a gunner. Willing to look past at the drinking history cuz at least around me he took care not to drink and he isn’t an alcoholic. So that can be dropped and often is once you’re married.
But a MUGSHOT??
I think the misdemeanor is related to driving a car that you don’t have a license to - he was booked at 6 am in the morning at the age of 21. Meanwhile tells me that he didn’t start acting up and going Out and partying till 24…so what the eff was happening after 24 then ???
Why did you start using dating/matrimonial site? i mean your parents can such a better life partner for you than searching here and there randomly by yourself or if you like someone just tell them, i think you should avoid meeting/dating with random fellas.
I have no time in real life to be party hopping, went to one wedding last week first in like 3 years. There are decent catches online, but then you find they are guilty of criminal offenses in the past :(
hmm bit complicated, I apologize but in my opinion only desperate people contact a rishty wali khala or this sort of web-sites for finding a best match. I am afraid if you could find a decent man over there... kinda scary to trust a person whose past is completely un-known to you. I believe someone from relatives, friends, colleagues, acquaintances... can be a best match for one, rest, Allah knows better. Good luck!
I think the misdemeanor is related to** driving a car that you don't have a license to** - he was booked at 6 am in the morning at the** age of 21.**
As far as you know, is this the only thing he was ever arrested for? Driving a car without a license more than 10 years ago? (He's in his mid 30's now right?).
PCG there r a lotttt of weirdos on inet! Must say that u have some guts to go on a date with him! I wouldn't even dare to give my mobile nmmr xD
But why don't u try dating in ur friendzone? I mean friend of a friend etc?..u might get more luck there than online and ending up with such a lame heads?....
As for after 24... He might got into the wrong friendzone... Mayb tried to prove somethin to someone and ended up with this mess?
As far as you know, is this the only thing he was ever arrested for? Driving a car without a license more than 10 years ago? (He's in his mid 30's now right?).
Let me guess. I'm being ungrateful and I should give him a chance? Kehdo tho milaadoon.
^No please don't. If you found him on google, everyone else can too. I wouldn't want to explain my husband's criminal record to all those nosey relatives that pop up out of nowhere when they hear you are getting married :\
Yep, that's what I'm afraid of. He's a nice guy, but even if I were to dismiss the past, and even if I were to ignore people googling my husband and finding a MUGSHOT of him for driving a car he had no license to (everyone will assume it is stolen, even if it wasn't), there remains the problem that at 36, he is still messing up. Not turning in a paper with a borderline 3.0 GPA just cuz he didn't feel like it, resulting in 6-8 months of scrambling with administration at the uni to fix THAT mess, then falsifying doctors documents from some sham doc in pakistan to say he was sick and couldn't turn in the paper???
So when I see this stuff from the past, that incident of his masters being difficult to complete doesn't come as a surprise.
Some people don't take their work and responsibilities seriously, so how is he gonna take a wife seriously.
He is one smooth talker though. Gotta hand that to him. Maybe I'll recommend he go get a psychotherapy degree and listen people like me moan and groan all day about guys like him.
By the way, how many of us drive our parents cars or siblings cars, etc once in a while that we dont have a license or registration to. I always freak out about it, but sometimes I’ve had to drive my sisters car if she was sick and I was taking her somewhere, etc.
So usually, if they pull you over and you dont have a license, but a legit reason why you’re driving someone else’s car, they don’t frikking put you away for it. Not that I know of at least, but then never really pulled over at FRIKKIN 6 AM IN THE MORNING.
rolleyes
Another red flag - he hid from his mom that he was meeting up with me that evening. I was like, why didn’t you just tell her? I’m sure she would be THRILLED to meet me, heck she would probably offer me keys to her home and her gold jewelry for marrying her son.
Not having a driver’s license when you get pulled over, is never okay. The fact that he got arrested, either means that the car was actually stolen or he was under the influence.
If I were you, I wouldn’t waste any more of my time analyzing his behavior. He ain’t the one!
Not having a driver's license when you get pulled over, is never okay. The fact that he got arrested, either means that the car was actually stolen or he was under the influence.
If I were you, I wouldn't waste any more of my time analyzing his behavior. He ain't the one!
I don't know...it sounds like a Bollywood romance waiting to happen.
Boy meets girl. Girl finds out about boy's incarceration at 6 am with a car that was possibly stolen. Girl dumps boy. Boy shapes up and begs and begs and begs until girl decides to settle. They both live unhappily ever after. Dancing somewhere in there.
I may be in the minority here but no, personally someone getting arrested at 21 b/c they drove without a license isn't a big deal to me. Reading your blog and then reading about the mugshot here.....I wanted to make sure there wasn't something that's actually serious behind it (ex. drugs, assault, rape, attempted murder etc. etc. etc.). I find it impossible to believe that they would not charge him with theft if the car was stolen OR charge him with DUI if he was drunk. It sounds like he didn't have a license, went with friends to party one night...slept over at someone's house or where ever....and in the morning when he was driving home, he got pulled over.
But moving on.....I think MUCH more than the mugshot....the fact that he's STILL not responsible enough to care about his education and can't tell his mother that he's meeting with you at the age of 36 are big enough reasons to drop him.
I don't know...it sounds like a Bollywood romance waiting to happen.
Boy meets girl. Girl finds out about boy's incarceration at 6 am with a car that was possibly stolen. Girl dumps boy. Boy shapes up and begs and begs and begs until girl decides to settle. They both live unhappily ever after. Dancing somewhere in there.
Yeah I told him my parents knew about him. He was surprised. I told him, well it's not like I'm meeting up with you for sex and drinks, buddy. I just didn't want to eat dinner alone in DC and I was stuck till the morning flight the day after looking for some jobs out there. So I wanted to be driven around and shown the neighborhoods w/o the cost of a taxi (ok, fine, that's a little opportunistic of me, but those DC cabbies can be pretty mean - they kept my 20 dollar bills without giving me change back).
So, I fail to see why he can't tell his mom where he is. Plus tells me that he got home around 1 am as he lives out in VA, and his mom was waiting up, and asking him where does he go so late at night, why isn't he home at decent times, etc. I was like, woman is onto you man, why don't you just tell her you're meeting me? Good grief, bechari aunty would be so happy for once.
So glad for my mom. I tell her about these guys and she immediately shuts them down. Haha. She wanted to call up cali guy's dad and tell him to meet her at some bridge in karachi so she can throw him off it. :( I know where I get my anger from now.
sounds like a keeper 
