Cousin Marriages- a discussion

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: Cousin Marriages- a discussion

^ yeah. As with many issues our culture has a way of brushing things under the carpet, rather than openly discuss matters that really do effect our people.

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Re: Cousin Marriages- a discussion

as philosophy has already mentioned..

its only a problem when several generations r marrying cousins one after the other..

so please stop being dramatic people..there r bigger problems in this world

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Re: Cousin Marriages- a discussion

I have to say, though there are many things that Easterners can say about us Westerners, culturally I mean, as in things we do immorally or foolishly but for us the topic of cousin marriage has been a taboo for years. Ask any Westerner about it and they wrinkle their nose and shudder. Only our equivalent of REALLY paindoo people would do it... and even then, it would be more of an urban myth than something typically done. There are actually horror stories of people accidentally marrying distant cousins and then finding out afterwards and being horrified- lol.

Sure, marrying a cousin and bearing children with them isn't guaranteed in causing birth defects but wouldn't people now a days, who know better, want to do the absolute best for their children and give them the absolute best start at life?

Scientifically, it has been proven, the strongest genetic pairings are those when the parents are the most different genetically (ie two different races). I'm glad that some people are actually starting to recognise this issue.

I have a friend who was forced to marry her cousin so pls don't feel like I'm judging anyone on it. I just honestly don't get it and not getting it is as far as my open mind will take me./

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Re: Cousin Marriages- a discussion

gorey dont marry their cousins, why are there so many disorders, genetic, with them then?

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Re: Cousin Marriages- a discussion

My mom and dad aren't cousins and neither are my husband's parents.. My mom and my husband's dad are first cousins and my dad and my aunt are sister and brothers so that's pretty close in terms of relations.. We are the first ones in our family to have cousin marriage and noone else has considered it yet. The issue I think with cousin marriage comes in when families keep on having cousin's marriages where the chances of genetics defects increase. With this being said I would like to avoid having my children have cousin marriage to eliminate any chance of defects but I wouldn't be strongly opposed to the idea if it's the will of Allah.

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Re: Cousin Marriages- a discussion

Mirpuris can sometimes be abit racist when it comes to other communities hence the reason they like to marry their own community.....but that causes them alot of problems and divorces as well.....the divorce rate amongst mirpuris is much higher compared to Punjabis for example..

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Re: Cousin Marriages- a discussion

you mean she's not a doctor???

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Re: Cousin Marriages- a discussion

So many genetic disorders affecting gorey in comparison to desis?? I think the numbers speak for themselves:

**‘British Pakistanis represent 3 per cent of all births in Britain but one third of children with recessive disorders.’ **

Source: Latest news & breaking headlines | The Times and The Sunday Times

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Re: Cousin Marriages- a discussion

[QUOTE]
Aug 23rd, 2010 06:00 PMGoriLady
Re: Cousin Marriages- a discussion

I have to say, though there are many things that Easterners can say about us Westerners, culturally I mean, as in things we do immorally or foolishly but for us the topic of cousin marriage has been a taboo for years. Ask any Westerner about it and they wrinkle their nose and shudder. Only our equivalent of REALLY paindoo people would do it... and even then, it would be more of an urban myth than something typically done. There are actually horror stories of people accidentally marrying distant cousins and then finding out afterwards and being horrified- lol.

Sure, marrying a cousin and bearing children with them isn't guaranteed in causing birth defects but wouldn't people now a days, who know better, want to do the absolute best for their children and give them the absolute best start at life?

Scientifically, it has been proven, the strongest genetic pairings are those when the parents are the most different genetically (ie two different races). I'm glad that some people are actually starting to recognise this issue.

I have a friend who was forced to marry her cousin so pls don't feel like I'm judging anyone on it. I just honestly don't get it and not getting it is as far as my open mind will take me./

[/QUOTE]

not against cousin marriage for others, could not never do it myself because it would be weird for me, but in a lot of cases I can see what the advantages are ie knowing the family and boy/ girl fairly well.

However, I dont quite understand the western worlds disgust of cousin marriages. Not too long ago they were incredibly common in the west too. Particularly when women had very little rights girls would often marry their cousins so they could keep their family estate ( if there were no sons in that particular family). So how did it become so taboo in the west to the extent that they've made cousin marriages illegal in some places? Was it just because of the potential for genetic deficiencies?

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Re: Cousin Marriages- a discussion

^ I think it started to become a taboo thing when it became apparent that the handicaps and deformities of certain royal families might be due to repeated marriages (not necessarily just cousins) within the family. Also, I think it was more common for second cousins and more distant family members to intermarry when they did so in a lot of other royal or ancestoral families.

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Re: Cousin Marriages- a discussion

personally i think cousin marriages in pakistan are probably more common now than they were in the past…say in our grandparents generations…because looking at people my grandparents age…none of them got married to cousins…in fact alot of them got married to very very far relatives or mostly non-relatives…has anyone else noticed that too?

everybody, look at your grandparents and great grandparents…and let us know whether they got married to their relatives or cousins…because i think in majority of cases they werent …which goes to show this concept of cousin marriages is not too old…maybe it started around your parents generation :bummer:

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Re: Cousin Marriages- a discussion

100% correct. ie, the West evolved in regards to cousin marriages.

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Re: Cousin Marriages- a discussion

to be honest ...the genetic predisposition to familial diseases running down the family tree are quite common anyway. So unless you have God forbid Thalassemias or Sickle cell disease or other blood disorders as well as Down's Syndrome in the families...cousin marriages won't really matter.

Say we have a strong family history of Diabetes Hypertension and Heart disease..which is now becoming a modern epidemic ...so even if you don't marry for the sake of transmitting this predisposition into your offsprings, chances are that the potential rishta outside the family would definitely have some family history of one of this disease if not all of them !

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Re: Cousin Marriages- a discussion

Do you think this is because people starting becoming more and more distrustful of others and such felt the only safe way to protect their families (especially in terms of wealth) was by intermarrying?

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Re: Cousin Marriages- a discussion

Why do people in Pakistan marry their cousins? Simple answer...People are too attached to their parents, and will never disobey them. All the people I know who are married to their cousins are from the 'arranged marriage' pool. Cousin marriages should be frowned on because the incidence of a baby with genetic defects being born increases. When you have kids with a person from a non-related family chances decrease because the that the baby will not inherit a defective gene increases. Sorry for the Bio :P....Main reason though? Because people are tooooooo damn attached to their parents and have no voice for themselves. Just my two cents.

Edit: Oh yeah, Cousin marriages also decrease social value in my opinion. I mean it sort of gives out the notion that people are unwilling to accept others, except for their own family.

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Re: Cousin Marriages- a discussion

^Not necessarily… its hard to find good rishtas these days also, parents want what best for their kids so they go for people they have known all their lives.

I was also given the option to marry my first cousin, I refused since I was too emotionally attached to him (thought of him as my brother) … if I wasn’t so close to him as a sibling, he would have made a great husband as we knew about his personality in and out. So, when you know someone who doesn’t smoke, do drugs, has not had any GFs and is basically a shareef, family-type person… you would of course want to marry your daughter off to them na.

I married outside the family and OMG BOTH our families have the same diseases… diabetes, high BP, high cholestrol and hypothyroid :frowning: I’m pretty scared about our kids.
I, alhamdulillah, am perfectly fine right now, but my husband has already been diagnosed with high cholesterol :bummer:

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Re: Cousin Marriages- a discussion

Wrong. For every characteristic there are 2 alleles. Lets take the example of Sickle cell anemia. Chances are that if your grandparents had sca then everyone of their direct or indirect offspring have the recessive allele. So when you intermarry you increase the chances of the allele showing the unwanted characteristic becoming active. Marrying outside your family greatly lowers this risk.

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Re: Cousin Marriages- a discussion

A nice article to read.

Among the many things Americans just know, without ever having thought about it, is that if first cousins marry, their children will be drooling half-wits. The handful who wonder if there’s any logic to this belief probably think: Royal inbreeding. Prince Charles. Case closed.
As recent events have shown, however, a lot of things we Yanks just know aren’t so. The supposed evils of cousin marriage may not be the first one that comes to mind, but it’s definitely on the list. In his impressive dissection of the issue, Forbidden Relatives: The American Myth of Cousin Marriage (1996), anthropologist Martin Ottenheimer points out the following little-known facts–little-known, that is, here in the U.S.:

  • The U.S. is virtually alone among developed nations in outlawing marriage among first cousins. European countries have no such prohibition. In some cultures, particularly Islamic ones, first-cousin marriage is encouraged. Even in the U.S. laws forbidding the practice are far from universal. First-cousin marriage is currently illegal or restricted in 31 states. (Some states allow it if there’s no chance of procreation–interesting in light of conservative opposition to gay marriage on the grounds that the institution’s function is to produce children.) It’s legal in the rest–and no, Kentucky and West Virginia aren’t among the permissive ones. Try California and New York.
  • First-cousin marriage isn’t a surefire recipe for congenital defects. True, marriage among close kin can increase the chance of pathological recessive genes meeting up in some unlucky individual, with dire consequences. The problem isn’t cousin marriage per se, however, but rather how many such genes are floating around in the family pool. If the pool’s pretty clean, the likelihood of genetic defects resulting from cousin marriage is low. A recent review (Bennett et al, Journal of Genetic Counseling, 2002) says that, on average, offspring of first-cousin unions have a 2 to 3 percent greater risk of birth defects than the general population, and a little over 4 percent greater risk of early death. While those margins aren’t trivial, genetic testing and counseling can minimize the danger. An argument can be made that marriages of first cousins descended from strong stock can produce exceptional children. Charles Darwin, for example, married his first cousin Emma, which wasn’t at all unusual in their prominent and successful family–their common grandparents were cousins too. Three of Charles and Emma’s ten kids died in childhood, it’s true, but that was standard for Victorian England; the others went on to productive and in some cases distinguished careers.
  • All kidding aside, the formerly high incidence of congenital defects, specifically hemophilia, among European royal families isn’t the classic demonstration of the perils of inbreeding that everybody thinks it is. The short explanation is that hemophilia is an X-chromosome-related characteristic, transmitted only through the female line. The children of royal female carriers would have been at risk no matter whom their mothers had married.

Why are Americans and their legal system so phobic about first-cousin marriage while Europeans aren’t? Ottenheimer blames several factors. First, bad research in the 19th century greatly exaggerated the dangers of imbecility, blindness, etc, among children of close kin. This research was eventually discredited in Europe, but Americans and their state legislators never got the word. Second, cousin marriage in the U.S. was considered a sign of barbarism (probable translation: hillbillies did it). In Europe, on the other hand, particularly in Mediterranean cultures, cousin marriage had a long and reasonably respectable history, although it’s rare today. Finally, European deep thinkers contended that certain forms of cousin marriage increased social cohesion. No such positive arguments were advanced in the States.
Let me emphasize we’re talking strictly about cousin marriage here. The incest taboo regarding parent-child and sibling unions is still strong in Europe and most other places. Setting aside the issue of exploitation where minor children are concerned, such unions have a much higher risk of “adverse medical outcome”–7 to 31 percent, according to Bennett et al.
As for cousin marriage–admit it, you admire me for keeping the word “kissin’” out of this discussion–Ottenheimer thinks U.S. laws against it ought to be repealed. I’m not seeing it: Jerry Lee Lewis got a buttload of flak for marrying his first cousin once removed in 1957, and the uproar over gay marriage suggests that rewriting the rules about whom one may properly wed is likely to be a tough sell now. Still, the issue reminds us of the importance of asking, when confronted with some instance of conventional wisdom: Says who?
— Cecil Adams

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Re: Cousin Marriages- a discussion

And there arises problem no.2 of our society. :D In my opinion it shouldn't be the parents duty to decide who you have to love for the rest of your life. Better to live alone, then be put together with your cousin, who you have to think differently of now. I mean shouldn't you love someone before you get married? The notion that you have to start loving them after you get married is a little weird O_O

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Re: Cousin Marriages- a discussion

So unless you have God forbid Thalassemias or Sickle cell disease or other blood disorders as well as Down's Syndrome in the families...cousin marriages won't really matter.

that's what I said in my previous post.. !! about the diseases with variable familial predisposition when more than one gene is involved as a risk factor such as ischemic heart disease and Diabetes, there could be a risk of transmitting it into offsprings either way ..consanganious marriages OR otherwise :)