Forget the religious aspect of whether the nikkah is valid etc etc. I met this couple a few times and they were married secretly, had a nikkah done and didn’t tell their parents.
Can it end well when they finally tell their parents?
Couples who get married secretly
I don't get the question
Re: Couples who get married secretly
Well, would their parents be able to accept it after having their pride hurt etc etc or would it make things worse when they told em, and make the parents kick them out of the house or something?
Re: Couples who get married secretly
Well, would their parents be able to accept it after having their pride hurt etc etc or would it make things worse when they told em, and make the parents kick them out of the house or something?
Differs ....some parents accept whereas some dont.
Re: Couples who get married secretly
Well all of the examples I know, the parents didn't accept it or the child left home and never spoke to their parents again.
I spose I'm just wondering as well what could justify having a secret nikkah done as well?
Re: Couples who get married secretly
Well all of the examples I know, the parents didn't accept it or the child left home and never spoke to their parents again.
I spose I'm just wondering as well what could justify having a secret nikkah done as well?
Well I know two girls(sisters) who did tht ...parents and their siblings stopped any contact with them for abt a year....until one of them heard something in a khutbah abt keeping ties with family.
Slowly they started calling the girls over at the house on occassions.Ofcourse thigns arent the same but its a lot better now.
Re: Couples who get married secretly
ok so BIL did it he had court marriage wth a morrocon lady who is 9 years older than him but as we say love is blind after 4 to 5 months he called his parents n told he got married they think he was joking but when he made her talk to parents they realize no he is serious they were ofcourse not happy but they accepted it since they have no other option my MIL still dont like tht lady but the couple is happy expecting their baby
Re: Couples who get married secretly
^Wow I'm glad there's some happy stories eventually. Well, sort of.
My best friend got married to a Muslim guy in secret, she converted about 7 or 8 years ago and was too scared to tell her family, and finally told them after they had a secret nikkah and she left home. That's really the only circumstance I know where someone would have an obvious reason to keep it secret.
In the case of the couple who I met who had a secret nikkah, both were muslim and actually quite young, around 19 or 20. I can't really think of any reason for them to keep it a secret, their parents were just normal asian parents and they seemed like they had enough freedom. I think I remember the reason they gave was that they wanted to keep their relationship 'halal' and basically justify any hanky panky.
Re: Couples who get married secretly
Another one I know of.
The girl was a non muslim(4 yrs senior to me at school).Fell in love with a muslim guy.With the support of her MIL got married to the muslim guy(without informing her parents).Her parents still don't talk to her and expect the same from her sister.But her sister secretly talks to her.She is a mother of two kids now and very happy.
Couples who get married secretly
I don't think hiding a marriage can never end well. It is not the marrying the person of your choice that is a big blow but the fact that it was hidden and kept a secret. The need to lead a secret double life make the family lose trust and faith and I personally think thats the bigger unforgivable crime in the eyes of the parent or sibling who got themselves nikkahfied secretly.
Re: Couples who get married secretly
totally depend on parents.. everyone is not same!
Re: Couples who get married secretly
wait i don’t get it, how do you have a “secret” nikkah and it be halal and valid? 
Re: Couples who get married secretly
I know this Irani girl who had a secret Nikaah but than moved on to another guy :/. But she's one confused girl because she's been "converting" from Sunni to Shiite and than Shiite to Sunni belief system for the past 6 years so not a good example.
19 and 20? IMHO that's not an age to make rational decisions.
Re: Couples who get married secretly
I know this Irani girl who had a secret Nikaah but than moved on to another guy :/. But she's one confused girl because she's been "converting" from Sunni to Shiite and than Shiite to Sunni belief system for the past 6 years so not a good example.
19 and 20? IMHO that's not an age to make rational decisions.
Was it mut'ah? it doesn't seem as huge a deal in their culture.. and to be fair we have misyar for 'temporary' marriage..
For the others who have secret nikahs would that mean they'd do another 'fake' nikah in front of their families later on? Or just come clean?
Re: Couples who get married secretly
it depends on their mind sets some will say ab jo hona tha hogay and except their marriage..some will not ,and try to brake their marriage etc etc..in pakistan in these kinda situations ppl are also killed(in extreme cases)they don let the couple say alive/toghter..
Re: Couples who get married secretly
I think I remember the reason they gave was that they wanted to keep their relationship 'halal' and basically justify any hanky panky.
You answered your own question or the couple answered it for you. They probably didn't want the hassle of proper wedding and living together so had Nikah to make everything halal.
Re: Couples who get married secretly
My uncle's son did a nikah secretly when he was 18 since the parents didn't agree to his choice of girl and his decision of marriage at that age. He secretly married the girl until he eventually told the parents about the nikah. Since that time, the parents have cut off all the ties with the son and the son has been living at his in-laws. Slowly and gradually, the parents have started seeing the son and his children but not the bahu.
A public nikah over a secret nikah can b done..but Im not sure if a nikah without girl's wali(incase she is muslim) is valid or not..anyways people do come around eventually but its not the same anymore..not the same respect..esp in the east..
Re: Couples who get married secretly
A public nikah over a secret nikah can b done..but Im not sure if a nikah without girl's wali(incase she is muslim) is valid or not..anyways people do come around eventually but its not the same anymore..not the same respect..esp in the east..
In Hanafi madhab it's discouraged but technically still valid.. all the others plus culture say no..
(You can appoint a new wali anyway if your dad is turning the guy down for bad reasons such as race or caste.. there's a specific order it goes tho.. brother or uncle next I can't quite remember.. or your imam can act as your wali)
Re: Couples who get married secretly
ok one more story of a family friend they were class fellow n the girl belonged to typical pathan family they were studying togather in medical gfor 4 years the boy family asked for the proposal but girl familoy didint agreed bc they said we do marrieages only within the fa,ily finally when their medical studies finished girls family tried to marry her to her cusn she refused but she saw tht they r still preparing n vl eventually force her for the wedding she did a scret nikah wth her class fellow n fianlly when she saw the wedding prepartions in full swing she told every1 about her nikah her father n vro immedately threw her out of house and cut all ties wth her but all her uncles n family member said no v would kill that boy n girl oofcourse the honour killing
both girl n boy r serving in army so they asked helped from army n army provided them security .
latst it they have a baby boy this year she is living wth boys family but girl family is still in tounch wth her if any1 asks about her they simply say woh mar gai hai :(