This question comes from the increasing number of surrogate childbirths these days. I personally know a couple who have a child via this method. My friend tells me how the lady who carried her child had to suddenly become detached to this thing that grew in her belly for 9 months, the hard labor and delivery, knowing very well she was under a contract to give that child away.
I know families where let’s say the sister is unable to have a baby, the other sister gives away on of hers.
I dont think so I can.
I also dont want to be in such a situation ever.Yeah I have examples in my own extended family where a sister or brother gave their child to another one of their siblings because they were not able to have a child of their own.
I think it may be because they love their sibling even more.And those who do it must have a big big heart to do so,God bless those.
When it comes to surrogacy maybe they just become detached with everything about the baby so they are able to do,but I wonder how a woman can do it and what goes on in her mind at that time and how she copes with it afterwards.
I read about this and saw it on TV a few days ago…although it was a totally different thing and the baby was never theirs,but still it must have been uber hard for them.I would love to read the book someday.
I know someone who raised their sister's child only for him to grow up and go back to his biological parents... it was heart breaking for the family who raised him!!
Personally, I could never give my child away but I would like to take my sister's children..I wonder if she will give them to me :$
I've never been pregnant so I dont know if that would change my views. If the baby was biologically mine I could never give it up. If I was was acting purely as a surrogate and it was someone elses egg, I think I could easily give it up. It's why I would never adopt, I just know I would never really love a child that was not mine.
I absolutely abhor the concept of giving away a child, it must be heart wrenching for the mother and it is not fair to the child to get raised by someone else when his/her real parents are alive. It opens up a whole new can of worms when the child grows up and realises who his real parents are, there can be a lot of heartbreak and confusion and it is just not worth it. A childless couple would be better off adopting an orphan, there are many in this world who could use some loving parents.
As far as surrogacy is concerned, I've read it's not allowed in Islam.
I don't think i can ever do that, and im not even married yet but the thought scares me.
My best friend was 'given' to her uncle's family by her parents as they didn't have any children of their own. She is raised well and knows about her birth parents and her siblings. Its been 23 years and she considers them more close and is up for the idea even now!
no i couldn't. I know of a couple of instances, but i think it is unfair on the woman. This uncle R had 3 daughters and when he had his 4th he decided to give her away to his brother I. From what I remember the mother was not happy with this but felt compelled to do so due to her husband. I am not in the situation, but fail to understand how a father can simply give up his own flesh for the sake of his brother. There's weird family issues now and the
girl knows of her real parents and despises them. It is just sad.
I think the instinctive answer is no, never - what mother would want to be separated from her child?
But what if the child's very survival depended on you giving them away? I think about those mothers in Africa and Asia who struggle to raise their children, having yet another mouth to feed. If you gave your child away, the child would have a chance at survival - it they keep their child - death and disease are the more likelier outcomes. It's not a matter of the quality of life - it's survival. And for those who say, well shouldn't have more kids than you can afford - agreed - but if the choice is between aborting the child because the child cannot be "afforded" versus giving the child away - what's the better option?
They have Mashallah 2 cute children (same age as my kids) and they handed over the 3rd one to my Friend's brother who is married form 19 years without kid. WE dont bring up the top but have always wondered how they have this big heart. My friend lives in Florida and his bro is in Detroit.
