My dad knows how to cook, and in fact, he taught my mom all the basics, because she grew up with cooks around the home.
And he's not white. He's Pakistani. Pakka Pakistani.
Diwana, women enjoy it because they've been fed for generations and centuries that this is their mission in life. Feed the men. Nothing else. Don't try to actually participate in society in any way or form, and don't try to venture outside the kitchen. It's demeaning actually. It's centuries and centuries of brainwashing to keep women out of society, out of having any role in shaping the world and being a part of it.
I'm a woman, I suck at cooking ,and in fact, burnt my finger while trying to get the naan out of the oven. It's not my thing. A lot of women aren't good at it, just look at Aaj Kya Pakaya thread in the cooking forum. Some of the stuff just looks outright unhealthy and unappetizing. Some looks good, but most of the pics there are not dishes anyone would picture in a real cook book, sorry.
So, the idea that cooking is an innate female skill is totally bogus. We all have our talents. I have mine, you have yours, and cooking is actually a non-gender biased talent.
Cooking is one of those things Pakistani and/or Muslim guys just don't do.
If you want a guy that cooks, find a WHITE guy, make him fall in love with you enough to convert to Islam, then marry him and live happily ever after while he cooks up a storm in the kitchen wearing an apron that says "Kitchen King" and brings you breakfast in bed "just because."
They don't do it because their mommies wont let them. Real men like Gulzar and Chef Zakir are great cooks...and they probably have male genitals by the looks of them. They make food better than I do. Probably better than you as well.
They do. They can actually cook better than most women in my opinion. Most women make one salan and whine for the rest of the evening or want appreciation for it for the entire week…like how their chicken karahi was more awesome than Fariha’s or Sabiha’s and how because of the one xtra bhun-ing step and pinch of garam masala, it was the most amazing supernatural demonstration of culinary arts the family must be experiencing :).
There are some people who make awesome food, no doubt. But true culinary art and quality food is not made in every desi wife's kitchen. In fact, professional cooking is a totally different field altogether. Like I said, I really suck at cooking. I'd love to learn it professionally one day, as a hobby, but not because it's my responsibility based on my XX genotype. I would love to find out if there is a gene encoding cooking that's not found on Y.
Yes, in an ideal world husbands would cook 50% of the time. I don't disagree with you that some pakistani men DO cook. Your mom must be very happy with your dad that he actually cooks but MOST pakistani guys won't cook (even if they know how) unless something drastic happens (i.e. their wife had heart surgery so now they have to cook to survive and cook to feed the children).
I'm actually straight up envious of a friend of mine (she is indian hindu). Her husband does 50% of the cooking and cleaning. Did I mention she is on mat leave and the division of labour is still 50/50? And that includes waking up at night to tend to the baby. Ha! Oh and she acts like this is "normal" and that he should be doing this.
The point is...there are some things we just have to accept. I have accepted the fact that it will never be 50/50 with my hubby. He has made it clear he doesn't care to cook. If the time came where I was very sick and he HAD to feed himself and my daughter he would make sandwiches and call it a day. I'm sorry to break it to you but most pakistani men still don't cook despite a few guppies saying "oh that's not true my dad cooks or my hubby cooks". It's hard enough finding a decent Pakistani guy these days. Now you want one that will do 50% or possibly ALL of the cooking as well? Good luck! :)
I know it's not a reality, but it's not a reality not because that's just how it is, and our men are just like that. It's not a reality because we have caused it to not be a reality. Who here is raising their sons to spend time in the kitchen?
^ No one. My MIL did EVERYTHING for her hubby and kids. Her son (my hubby) doesn't cook and neither do her two daughters of marriageable age 27 and 22 respectively. In fact my youngest SIL (22 year old) starting frying garlic one day with the skin on when she was making pasta. I told her that the skin is to be taken off. She insisted that you are supposed to leave the skin on (and really believed what she was saying). HAHAHAHAH
PCG why does everything come down to guys vs. girls.
Btw my hubby was well known in his university (among the Pakistanis) of being the best cook. And he was actually pretty good. And the number of times he's cooked after we got married is like 4 or something. That's less than once a year. And all those 4 times was while I was sick or pregnant (or both :) ). Yup, so no diaper changing and cooking going on here (except by me).
Let me tell you, a lot of women don't want their husbands cooking. I feel bad saying this (OK I don't) but they're insecure about their husbands excelling in the one thing they feel skilled at. A lot of women don't like being told they are "lucky" because they have husbands who help around the house. It's taking away from their martyrdom.
^ or they are married to guys that SUCK at cooking. When we were newlyweds, I told my husband I wanted him to cook for me for a change since he never did. He made stir fry that day and let me tell you since that day not once have I ever asked him to cook for me again.
He says he purposely made it bad so I would stop bugging him about it. I think it is a bit of that but I also think he just sucks at cooking.
Let me tell you, a lot of women don't want their husbands cooking. I feel bad saying this (OK I don't) but they're insecure about their husbands excelling in the one thing they feel skilled at. A lot of women don't like being told they are "lucky" because they have husbands who help around the house. It's taking away from their martyrdom.
Really though? I never met a woman who didn't like being told she is lucky! Most women that are lucky, KNOW it and they cherish their husbands for being like this and actually admit they are lucky!
Really though? I never met a woman who didn't like being told she is lucky! Most women that are lucky, KNOW it and they cherish their husbands for being like this and actually admit they are lucky!
Aaah, I've met quite a few. It's more prevalent in certain communities. But that would be another thread...
^ have u forgotten the thread where the OP was sick of hearing from her in laws how lucky she was to have such a great husband. So seems like all women don't like to have great husbands. Or atleast they don't want the world to know about it.
Would you marry a woman who cooks, but just doesn't cook desi food. Cooks other foods. Can make you a great healthy salad, but a salan is out of her skill range?
I still can't cook. My ruksathi is in a few days. Hubby married me :D (love marriage!) so yes, if a guy is head over heels in love with you he will marry you even if you have limited or no culinary skills.
