Re: cooking and marriage
I LIKE COOKING BECAUSE I LIKE IT.NOT BECAUSE IM TOLD I HAVE NO OPTION BUT TO COOK...when the right to have an option is taken away from you even things you would otherwise enjoy, wont feel right.
Re: cooking and marriage
^ I wish someone would force me to shop 
I don't know about guys, but what upsets me is the mothers worrying that the girl has to learn to cook in order to get married. Everything gets so related to marriage that it just upsets me.
Guys have more leverage. Their wishes are prioritized so that they have a strong personality. He gets to join the swimming classes, karate lessons, etc -- just so that he can be a Man.
NightVision said, a guy is expected to be "mature, responsible, Loyal, stable, patient, respectful,dependable." Well, all these things are really personality characteristics that the girl has to have as well - if she isn't loyal, patient, respectful, responsible, mature and just knows how to cook really well, you don't have a very good marriage.
I guess what he means by stabe is financially stable. Well, man supports because woman bears children, not because she is the household chef (anyways, that is something difficult to argue in our culture).
By dependable he probably means that the man has to be strong. If the girl was given the same treatment as guys in the first place, she wouldn't be so dependent anyways.
The entire mission for a girl seems to be marriage. Nowadays, they have to be doctors, professionals, not so that they are independent but because you can't get good rishtas without having an earning power. On top of that, you have to know how to cook like a chef.
On the other hand, guys are not treated better because they have to support a family per se but because they are guys, and also perhaps because they supposedly support the parents in their old age or carry forward the name of the family or who knows.
And yeh, if the way to a guy's heart is through his stomach, what worth is it if it doesn't have/ understand her heart? I mean aren't we really talking about the way to his pocket?
I think it's just that they don't know if the girl doesn't know how to cook and she intends on learning or that she takes pride in the inability to cook or just doesn't care to learn (e.g. "i come from a modern/rich family, so that's why i don't know"), so her husband will end up doing most of it. People take cooking an indication of her willingness/care to do domestic stuff.
Re: cooking and marriage
I think that girls should be allowed to find out what they really want in life (like guys get to choose their careers). Cooking shouldn't be the big thing. Everyone should know how to cook. (My parents use this line to trick me into learning to cook when my brother was never taught to cook - result is that he lives on his own and eats out or goes to my sister's place to eat).
Making girls feel that that is all they are made for, narrows their perspective and life experience.
Why is cooking made into such a big issue? Can being an engineer or lawyer be equivalent to being a good cook? What happens to women's self-worth when that is all they are prepared for?
^ Great posts Amna, all that stuff annoys me like u would not believe..
Re: cooking and marriage
It's not a big deal. Haha. But it does depend on your husband, I guess. Some husbands are very demanding about their wives knowing how to cook and being "domesticated."
In my case, I've been married for 6 months now....I didn't know how to cook anything. And honestly, my husband could care less. Haha. I've been learning now and I'm getting pretty good at it, but it doesn't really make a difference. My husband likes to cook as well and, quite honestly, he kicks me out of the kitchen 90% of the time and takes over. Haha.
There's no rule book that says girls have to know how to cook right away.
Re: cooking and marriage
all i cn say is dat i arnt gna cook owt 4 ma hubby wen i gt marid and if i hav ta the onli thing im gna make 4 him is tea, cerial hehe, and if hes lucky i might mek him toast lolzzz il onli mek him food if he helpz me udawise hez gna hav ta get a takeaway 4 both f us lolzzzzzzzz
Re: cooking and marriage
I somewhat know how to cook... but i work full time. I love cooking but I rarely have time for it. I would love to have my future MIL teach me how to cook. I think that as long as a girl is willing to learn and the couple have an understanding than things should be ok. I have rarely met guys that require their future wives to be gourmet chefs prior to marriage.
Cooking to me is like cleaning; I hate doing it but I like the end result. It also wastes a lot of time for me; for example, I have to go to the grocery store to get 1 or 2 ingredients for my recipe, chop up stuff, wait for it to cook, and then waste time cleaning all the pots and pans. This is worth it when it's for like 10 people because it's a one-time thing, but I really hate cooking for 1 or 2 because the recipes are a pain to scale. For example a recipe for 6 people will have the use of 1 egg or something else that's hard to scale down. So what am I supposed to do? Make it for 6 and eat a lot? Or just waste the remainder? ergh. i think most newlyweds do the former-hence their post shaadi bodies.
anyway, i think it's ok to order out once in a while; servings are huge these days so you get a lot of food even if you split one dish. less mess, stress and time wastage=more time to spend with your hubby.
Re: cooking and marriage
^ i had the same problem..it once took me 3 hours to cook aloo-gobi 
b/c i was chopping the garlic and peeling the ginger too etc..
but once ur actually managing a household, it gets easier..like u knwo what groceries to buy, so u dont have to be running out for last minute stuff, and keeping things pre-chopped (like onions and tomatoes).
sorry but there’s no shortcut for the cleaning 
Re: cooking and marriage
all i can say is... if my wife couldnt cook. shed be out.the.door or at least enrolled in v. expensive cooking classes.
Also. At the salon once a week, just to make up for it.
all u lovely ladies should marry ME.
ill treat you well. just like a real man
can
Re: cooking and marriage
^ you are a man?
Waz up with the ol' lady avatar ???????
LOL LOL
Sure sara - my hubby would love to send you with his CREDIT CARD - NO LIMITATION - to GROCERY SHOPPING!
As long as you bring good healthy worth while food - you don’t need an explanation on how much it cost!
oh ye - but no cheating! Grocery means grocery ONLY. No “shopping for self” 
Re: cooking and marriage
why do I have the feeling that girls here are comparing cooking with driving? Is cooking so hard to manage? Who is expecting you to cook a 5 Star meal everyday? If this is the case, this man must be on crack. I don't what kind of Pakistani Man you girls are living, but this is shocking. For me cooking is the same requirementfor a boy to have a financial stable life. What is the sense in learning to cook after marriage when you gonna eat 4 days outside? after 1 month it will become 7 because rich boys are impatient and when the money flows it flows.
Maybe this is the intention of woman, not learning to cook so she can have her own 5 star meal every day :D
Make a kilo of daal and freeze it..give it to him everyday twice a day.
Re: cooking and marriage
^
you eat that, too then!
^ I'm not married.. I eat at the Burj Al Arab everyday.. don't u worry about MY nutrition.